The cold air hit the both of them as they stood outside in the rain just staring at each other. He looked at her not understanding why she wanted to run away so badly. He gazed into her light brown eyes wondering what she could possibly be so afraid of. The rain continued to pour onto the both of them and they both just stood there waiting for who would speak up first. He felt his feet pulse closer to her, but she retrieved backwards. “I can’t keep doing this Giordany”. She said to him without even picking up her head to look at his eyes. “Why not?” “Why don’t you want this too? I’m always fighting for you. I need to understand how you’re feeling and your perspective of things. How am I supposed to know if you don’t talk to me?” Tears started to fall from her eyes, but it blended into the rain. He wasn’t able to tell. “Giordany how? How am I supposed to open up to you, if I’m so scared?” “Try. Plus we’re going to get sick out here in this freezing rain.” “Well if you wouldn’t have brought me out here, I could’ve been at home.” “Now it’s my fault.” “No! Everything is always mine! Can’t you just see that?” She paused. She started to head back to her car. He ran after her and stopped in front of her. “Baby no, I just can’t let you leave and we haven’t resolved this. Stop pushing me away. For once, let someone love you the right way instead of pushing.” He felt so helpless looking at her noticing all of her tears. Her eyes looked petrified of the unknown because of all the brokenness she’s ever felt. All he wanted to do was protect her, but she pushed further. He pulled her towards him and hugged her, wrapping her head in his arms. She started to sob on his chest. “We’re really two idiots for standing out here in the freezing rain arguing.” He smirked looking down at her. “I’m the idiot who’ll fight for what he wants. This idiot wants you.” “Giordany..” She pulled away. He looked at her only praying for a light to just understand her. All he wanted to do was bring her peace, but he was unable to do so because of her own thoughts. People made it difficult for the both of them because all they did was judge. Her having anxiety added onto her worries she already had over the relationship. “You can’t just give up every time someone says something to you about us. Everyone is always going to talk no matter what. You have to have faith and trust that we’re going to be okay. Receive peace. I’m not here to harm you if anything, I just want to take care of you. Please. Let me do my job.” He could feel his strength fading out, but he wouldn’t tell her that because he wanted to make her feel as protected as possible. He felt his throat clog up because he was fighting the tears praying to find some type of strength inside of him to continue fighting for this woman before him. He understood that she’s never had anything good before. He just wanted one chance to prove to her that this would be different. He saw her shoulders loosen. “Fine Gi.” “I know you’re right. I can’t keep pushing you because I’m afraid. I’m just afraid that something could finally work for me. I know that that’s something that shouldn’t be feared, but when all you’ve been given is brokenness and you see something good being given to you, you feel the pressure. You see it and don’t want to ruin it so you run from it because you think it’s too good to be true and you don’t want to accept the blessing that’s being given to you. I thought I’d be ready. My whole life I thought I’d be ready for a moment like this. I suppose I would never be ready. I’m sorry for pushing. I’m sorry for constantly trying to give up when I shouldn’t. I’m sorry because I know you’re trying and you never fail to show me. Just be patient with me. I’m willing to try for once.” He couldn’t stop feeling this joy inside of him overflowing. He knew all he wanted was this woman standing before him, but he couldn’t pressure her. He felt this peace come over him. A peace full of understanding, patience, and love. He knew then that he would have to let her lead in order to give her the time she needed to trust him. He couldn’t stop smiling and looking at her walk away. “Gi can we please leave I’m freezing my butt off and we look dumb out here.” “Oh yeah right, sorry babe.” He ran to get the door for her.
Professor: Jessica Penner
Office Hours: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11:30 AM – 1 PM. I’ll be available through Zoom and will send an invitation via email that you should keep all semester. Try to join my meeting at the start of the hour, not at the end—since I may be talking to other students or have another appointment after the hour is up. If those times don’t work with your schedule, we can schedule a different time. This means you’ll have to schedule an appointment in advance via email. I suggest you have multiple times in mind, since your schedule may not mesh with mine!
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