ENG1141
Creative Writing
Formal Critique
Reviewer’s Name: Dylan Nanjad
Title of Piece: The Water Dancer Author’s Name: Ta-Nehisi Coates
What I liked
Plot: I love how the author takes his time to reveal more about Hiram’s relationship with his brother over time. Nehisi’s writing flows effortlessly and feels like someone wandering peacefully. He has a purpose in mind but he takes his time to unravel the threads he lays out. I was hooked the entire time.
Setting and Context: I love how the setting takes a back seat for the context of the story. Although Nehisi does hint at the time period by using certain descriptions of the world that it takes place in, he mainly spends his time elaborating on Hiram’s thoughts of his mother and brother, with the latter being a source of suffering for him. In the end, I feel no sympathy for Maynard when Hiram leaves him to drown, because I understood what led to that breaking point.
Point of View: Nehisi tells this story from Hiram – the older brother’s – perspective. The one who gave his entire life for Mayard, his arrogant, selfish younger brother. Nehisi makes it clear that Hiram has nothing left that he wishes for himself. Only for peace, away from his brother. And he also misses his mother, who he sees on the stone bridge. The combination of these make it easier to understand why he makes the decision at the end of the story.
Dialogue: I love that the only dialogue that occurs is between Hiram and Maynard when they are drowning, and it is only initiated because Maynard is begging his brother to save him. He calls for help three times, and Hiram only responds the third time because it is then that Maynard acknowledges the true nature of their relationship for the first time. But in Hiram’s thoughts we have only heard of the amount of trouble his brother caused him, never appreciating him, becoming his chain. Hiram had even tried to teach him to swim, which he never took seriously. Combined with this context, we can see that the 14 words exchanged between the brothers tell us all we need to know about their relationship. And I love this aspect of the story.
Questions
Plot: What is this story based on?
Setting and Context: Where does this event take place, and in what time period?
Characters: Did Nehisi get inspiration for the brothers from people he knows?
Point of View: Why didn’t Nehisi include another POV?
Hello Dylan,
I do not agree with you on how the setting takes a back seat to the context of the story. I think without setting we as readers would not be able to draw conclusions about the character, his or her personality, and how they would act in certain situations. It kind of gives us an idea of whether the character is predictable or unpredictable based on his/her surroundings and settings, what actions he/she will take, and what can we expect from them based on these
I also liked how the only actual dialogue between the two was when the younger brother was begging to be saved. The narrator mentioning that he had attempted to teach his brother how to swim before only to be ignored makes this part even better because it lets us know a part of the reason why the narrator was not inclined to do anything.
Hi Dylan, I agree with you with the author being able to describe the way that Hiram wants to be rid of his brother while missing his mother all being told through Hiram’s perspective, yes, but it did make it easier, like you said, to understand the end decision made.