Depression…has hands. Wild hands if I’m being completely honest. I could go toe to toe with almost everything else that hits me. Good ‘ol sadness, easy fight. Insomnia, manageable. Social awkwardness, that one lowkey has hands too but I been putting the works on it. I didn’t know just how solid the hands of depression were for a while however. I would normally cycle through phases of depression and always bounce back after a while. No matter how deep down I fell, I could find some way to drag myself out of it. None of my past experiences could have helped me with what happened though. It hit like….like a tackle from a football player in a game you weren’t participating it. One day I was fine and the next, an overwhelming emptiness hit me out of nowhere. I tried to do what I could to fend it off. Eat my favorite foods, hang out with the few friends I had who were still in the city, play games, but nothing worked. I would eventually find myself in my room, on my bed staring at the ceiling and this continued for an entire week. Any attempt at having a fun time felt empty. Any game played felt dull. Any food was bland. So I remained in bed, eating only out of habit, barely drinking water all while marinating in my own depression. I don’t have an exact measurement of how far down I went during that week but once I bounced back, I told myself that no matter what happened, even if I got clotheslined by depression once again, I wouldn’t allow myself to just sit and marinate in my own depression.
Professor: Jessica Penner
Office Hours: 1 to 2 PM on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I’ll be available through Zoom and will send an invitation through email each week. Try to join my meeting at the start of the hour, not at the end—since I may be talking to other students or have another appointment after the hour is up. If those times don’t work with your schedule, we can schedule a different time. This means you’ll have to schedule an appointment in advance via email.
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