- Re-Read: Barack Obama’s excerpt: A Promised Land
HERE IS A LONGER VERSION PromisedLand
2. Read (and take notes): George Orwell “Why I Write”
Also in WHY WE WRITE PDF (20-37)
3. Post: In 1-2 paragraphs, discuss an incident in your life in which you surprised someone (or just yourself) by accomplishing something quite unexpected.
FOR THE FOLLOWING WEEK:
READ (and take notes):
“WhY i Write” by Aaron Barlow in WHY WE WRITE PDF (70-76)
POST:
In 1-2 paragraphs, describe an important moment in time when a teacher, mentor, or family member taught you an invaluable skill or life lesson. Carefully describe both the person and the lesson with close details.
I graduated culinary school in May 2020 and I thought it was going to be impossible for me to get a job at a bakery. 1. I didn’t think my skills were good enough and 2. I thought covid was going to make it a 1000 times harder. Once I graduated school I started a baking Instagram page for my baking and it automatically grew tremendously and I was getting so many orders. At that point I thought to myself, okay maybe I can bake from home until I get my bachelors degree and then start looking for jobs. in June 2020 one of my best friends sister called me and asked me if I was interested in a cupcake decorating job because her bakery was looking for someone. of course I said yes! 1. because cupcakes are my thing and 2. why not go for it and see where it takes me. her boss called me two days later and explained the job description to me and asked me to come in for an interview. that following Monday I went in and she said she’d call me. As I walked out of the bakery I felt like I wasn’t going to get the job. she asked me to come in the next day to train and wed go from there. I went in to train and even though they said I did well, I. doubted myself. That Wednesday July 1st I got a phone call and she said “We would be happy to have you apart of our team” I was so excited and I started working the next day. Thi s is a moment that has happened to me that makes me so proud of myself and in shock because I thought that I wouldn’t get a job at a bakery. I thought this because I had no experience besides culinary school. Till this day I’m still in shock. I love my job.
Well-written post Kiara and a fantastic story!
the incident I’m going to tell about was happened in 2019. A friend of mine was about to die because of bad relationship, our first conversation was over the phone. how did she get my number ? she was the girlfriend of my ex husband, I believed her when she told she got my number from our divorce papers. my marriage to him was a big mistake, he was an untrusty person. Before she started telling me what he did to her, I was sure that she was really late to find out that she is with the wrong person. I was listening to what she was saying but in a while I heard tears and someone else told me that she is hospitalized after a suicide attempt and she is not allowed to use her phone.
I was feeling so bad for her because I knew that he took all money from her, used and abused her. I called her in the next day and I insisted to know what hospital she is at. I went to that hospital, I could not believe how she was looking depressed, and emotionally destroyed. I remembered myself facing the same situation with such a violent, and abusive man.
she barely could talk to me for couple minutes, then she fell asleep under in influence of the antidepressant medications. I decided to stay next to her, help her, support her, to bring her back to life. in the next weeks, I tells her how I deal with the troubles that he caused to me, and I had a child too at that moment. she realized that she can go over it as I did, as I was strong taking care of my child and myself. she tells me that she cant believe how I had an eviction from my apt with a one month old baby and he never come for help.
the way I had convinced her that she was wrong trying to make end to her life was through my story, she thank me for coming . my promise to help her didn’t end during my visitation, I was calling her everyday and see if she needs anything.
We become friends, and until today she still thank me for saving her life , and make her think that she can have a better life without him. I never expected that I will save someone’s life. I felt proud when she said that my words were more helpful than her psychotherapist therapy. after all, she attended the law school at Philadelphia. I feel happy that she is going successful in her life.
This is an amazing, heart-warming story Samia. Below, I made some suggested edits for you to review.
The incident I’m going to SPEAK about happened in 2019. A friend of mine was about to die because of A bad relationship. Our first conversation was over the phone. how did she get my number, I WONDERED? She was the girlfriend of my ex husband; I believed her when she told ME she got my number from our divorce papers. My marriage to him was a big mistake, FOR he was an untrustWORTHY person. Before she started telling me what he did to her, I RECOGNIZED that she was really late IN FINDING out that she HAD BEEN with the wrong person. AS I was listening to what she was saying, I heard tears and THEN someone else told me that she WAS CURRENTLY hospitalized after a suicide attempt and she WAS not allowed to use her phone.
I was feeling so badLY for her because I knew that he took all HER money from her, used and abused her. I called her the next day and I insisted to know what hospital she WAS at. WHEN I went to the hospital, I could not believe how DEPRESSED she LOOK; SHE WAS CLEARLY emotionally destroyed. I remembered myself facing the same situation with such a violent and abusive man.
She barely could tallk to me before she fell asleep under the influence of her antidepressant medications. RIGHT THEN, I decided to stay WITH her, SO I COULD help her, support her, AND bring her back to life. OVER the next FEW weeks, I TOLD her how I HAD dealT with the troubles that he caused me, and I had a child too at that moment. She realized that she TOO HAD THE STRENGTH TO OVERCOME THIS SITUATION JUST as I did, as I was strong taking care of my child and myself. She TOLD me that she COULDN’T believe how I RECEIVED an eviction NOTICE from my LANDLORD with a one month old baby and he never CAME TO help.
The way I convinced her that she was wrong trying to end her life was through my OWN story, AND she thank me for coming. MY promise to help her didn’t end during THAT FIRST visitation, HOWEVER. I WOULD SUBSEQUENTLY call her everyday TO see if she needED anything.
We becAme CLOSE friends, and until today she still thankS me for saving her life , and FOR makING HER REALIZE that she cOULD have a better life without him. I never expected that I HAD THE CAPACITY TO save someone’s life. I felt SO proud when she said that my words were more helpful than her THERAPY WITH HER psychotherapist. AFTER HER RECOVERY, she attended law school IN Philadelphia. I feel THRILLED that she is EXPERIENCING SO MUCH success in her life RIGHT NOW.
I am currently majoring in Hospitality Management. I thought I would not be able to enroll this semester due to the pandemic. I was in a stressful and indecisive emotional state, because the procedures to enroll in City Tech had already begun weeks ago. So, for weeks I was waiting for news about the enrollment process by email. I was surprised to learn that the registration for the moment could be done online. My concern was no longer catching the virus but waiting carefully for the email to respond as soon as possible.
A few days later, I received an email with one of the first classes I would have. It was the best feeling of happiness I ever had. Because every day I watched on television or through social networks, news related to covid19 (deaths, hospitalizations, etc.). I felt excited to start this new virtual stage. The online classes were appropriate for me, because the teachers supported me in the transition from face-to-face to virtual. This situation was totally unexpected because when the virus arrived in America, I thought it would only take a few weeks or maybe a month of quarantine. I thought I would miss an academic semester because of this. Currently, I am in the second semester, looking forward to seeing the City Tech classrooms.
This is a well-written response. I’m glad you are enjoying your virtual learning experiences.
Few years ago I moved to the US from a non English speaking country, the first obstacle I face was the linguistic barrier. I was unable to understand when people are talking especially the youth. I was frustrated so I went to my comfort zone by listening to music, watching videos and movies only in my native languages. I spent more than a month like that until one night I had a wake up call. I suddenly wake up from my sleep, thinking about my situation this thought came in my mind “how can you achieved your goals if you cannot communicate”.
In the next morning, I went to the next the nearest library to read and to be in contact with the locals I went to parks, stores and tried to start conversation with anyone that willing to talk. I watched YouTube videos, attended churches, make friends to help me practice my English and I took a couple of ESL classes. In a year, I enrolled in college, succeeded in my first semester and was in the dean list. From my experience , I learn that ones can overcome their obstacles if they are willing to put adequate efforts.
Well-written and moving narrative, Samuel. Below I’ve made some suggested edits:
A Few years ago, I moved to the US from a non-English speaking country. NATURALLY, the first obstacle I faceD was the linguistic barrier. I was unable to understand when people WERE talking TO ME especially the youth. I was frustrated, so I went INto my comfort zone by listening to music, watching videos, and movies BUT only in my native language. I spent more than a month like that until one night I had a wake-up call. I suddenly wOke up from my sleep; thinking about my situation this thought came in my mind: “how can you achieved your goals if you cannot communicate”?
The next morning, I went to the nearest library to read and to be in contact with the locals. I went to parks AND stores and tried to start A conversation with anyone that WAS willing to talk. I watched YouTube videos, attended churches, maDe friends to help me practice my English and I took a couple of ESL classes. In a year, I enrolled in college, succeeded in my first semester, and was EVEN ON the Dean’S list. From my experience , I learnED that one can overcome HIS OR HER obstacles if they are willing to put IN AN adequate effort.
After completing a job assignment last June 2020, I just knew there was more work for me to do. Not just a 9 to 5, but a clear choice on extending myself the best way I knew how. I decided to take on higher learning, and enrolled into City Tech for Fall 2020. I wasn’t fresh out of high school, but I knew it wasn’t too late to take on this task. It was definitely unexpected. Some of my family members were a bit surprised, but I was still encouraged by many to move forward with my plans.
This is a well-written response Cassandra but work on providing more specific details. You’ll get this opportunity in our first formal essay assignment.
It was my senior year in high school. I went to Aviation High School, which is honestly more of a trade school rather than a normal high school. My high school provided this fifth year program, in which selected students were capable of staying for a fifth year after graduation with the opportunity of walking out of high school as a fully certified aircraft maintenance technician. I was very doubtful, [;] I didn’t think I’d be selected since I knew there were kids smarter and probably more deserving of it. Nevertheless, I didn’t give up. I made sure to pass all my shop rotations and each shop final. I made sure my FAA record was clean with passing grades. Furthermore, towards the end of the year, we take 2 more exams which were known as the qualifying exams. If these are passed[,] then we moveD on to take 2 more exams [,] but these are Federal Written Exams. All in all, I passed 3/4 of these exams and still made the cut into fifth year which surprised me. Even though I didn’t walk away as a certified aircraft maintenance technician due to the current ongoing pandemic and schools having to shut down (I’m a 2019 graduate, my fifth year happened during the pandemic), I’m still surprised and proud of myself for doing as much as I did being in high school. Although my journey to obtaining those licenses aren’t over, I’m still surprised and proud of my little achievement.
Well-written and interesting post Alex. Review my punctuation edits, however.
I came to New York from Trinidad around the age of 8 or 9. When I left there [,] I was in the third grade, [;] however, after coming here [,] I was then placed in the fourth grade. After entering the school year late, it took some time to get adjusted. With that said, I eventually got into the groove of things. I eventually became one of the top students in class. Many of classmates were surprised to see that I was able to achieve such success after only being in the country for such a short period of time. To their DISbelief, I was from a “third world country” and English wasn’t my second language. However, that wasn’t the case, English was in fact my first language and the island I came from definitely was not defined as third world. Yes, my classmates were sHocked about my achievement , but I too was shocked at the image and the MISCONCEPTIONS they had of me.
Well-written and interesting post Sarafina. With additional details, the issues you raise her will make for a fine first formal essay assignment. Review my edits, however, as there are a few punctuation issues.
In my senior year of high school, my guidance counselor had told me I would never get into a four year college and that I lacked the motivation to succeed in college. She also didn’t think I would graduate high school on time due to my failed classes in my junior year. Although, NONETHELESS, I graduated with very good grades. Despite her discouraging me, I still applied to four year colleges in hopes on getting my Bachelor’s. I was accepted to a few different four year colleges, BUT I chose City Tech due to the good reviews. I’m now in my second semester and I’m really enjoying college so far. Last semester I got very good grades, and I hope to continue getting good grades throughout my college journey. After my B.A., I would like to further my education by going to vet school. I surpriseD myself and those around me with my sudden drive and devotion to my education. I take becoming a veterinarian seriously. And I look forward to being on campus and learning inside the classrooms.
Well-written and inspiring post, Tiffany. Keep up the great work! Review my edits, however, for a few punctuation/phrasing issues.
I guess one thing that surprised me over the years was SIMPLY being able to go to college. DURING My senior year of high school, I was very unmotivated, [;] every one in my close family either did some college and dropped out or just never went. I was the oldest grandchild and I would be the first one heading to college out of her three grandchildren if I decided to go. I submitted everything late and decided to get advising later than everyone else did. My attendance definitely WAS terrible all through out high school; every single year I had an absurd amount NUMBER of absences and late days. Sadly at the time, I did not apply to many CUNYs and got rejected from THE ONES I DID. I was super disappointed, but I was not surprised and felt like that was just meant to be. But at the time[,] I was getting advised BY my advisor WHO told me to apply to some SUNYs as well. Although it is weird, I got accepted into most of my choices [one being SUNY Old Westbury which was one of my top 3, which I decided to go to]. I was surprised, like very surprised because if I was rejected from every CUNY I applied to, why did I get accepted into my SUNY choices? Either way I am so glad I was motivated and accomplished the idea of going to school because I do not regret it one bet. I transferred to City Tech because sadly I couldn’t afford the tuition AT SUNY ANY MORE. But I heard great things about City Tech so I applied and got accepted right away. I am glad I decided to further my education into college because I know if I pushed it back any further [,] I would’ve regretted it.
Excellent post Ashiley. Review my edits, however.
During my High school years I lacked motivation and had been going through problems at home and didn’t get much support from my family and it had affected my grades, most of my teachers were telling me how I wouldn’t be graduating on time and so on. In junior year one of the portfolios that I was supposed to be working on got deleted because they replaced the school computers without a warning and my teacher told me I had to do it all over again but since I’m a procrastinator I kept pushing it back until towards the end of my senior year when I should have already been working on 5 other portfolios. I managed to finish all 5 portfolios within two months and I was quite surprised as well as my teachers plus I graduated on time with good grades.
Shokhsanan,
You are posting on the wrong course site. This is my ENG1121 course. You are registered in ENG1101 (Tues. 2:30-5:50)
Here is the link. Please sign up to this course site:
https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/composition/
Shokhsanan,
You are posting on the wrong course site. This is my ENG1121 course. You are registered in ENG1101 (Tues. 2:30-5:50)
Here is the link. Please sign up to this course site:
https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/composition/
One of the things that has surprised me the most is getting into college with a major in architecture. In my country, which is Albania, students cannot choose the major they want.
After applying for a major in architecture in 2017 [,} I had forgotten to look at the emails TO SEE if I had been accepted to any CUNY college. I was USED TO THE educationAL system of Albania,WHICH DETERMINED EVERYTHING FOR ME. But yes, the big news camE: my dream could become true.
But RIGHT after this good news, CAME the bad news. The first day of school I got sick and my happiest day turned into a nightmare. So, I missed a year of school because I was very sick. After all these difficulties [,] I started school but the first year had some fluctuations in grades. One of the reasons was the language BARRIER because I did not know how to speak English well, and then some other problems that affected the grades. I got to a point where I had lost hope that I would be able to IMPROVE MY GPA. I was even afraid I would be kicked out of college. But I am a person who never gives up. I realized that if I committed myself to DISCIPLINE AND HARD WORK, everything would be achieved.
From a GPA of 1.72 and an announcement to kick me out from college, I managed to bring the GPA to 2.6. I am already classified as an A grade student with a GPA of 3.2.
This has been kind of an incident in my life, which I believe I surprised myself.
Very good post Dajana. Please review my suggested edits, however.
This is the wrong one. I pressed post comment by mistake. The other one is the right one.
Stefanny Torres
English ll HW#2
There has been so many goals I have set myself throughout the years. One of the things that I love most besides helping others is singing. As a STUDENT CONTINUALLY STRIVING FOR A 4.0 GPA, I have set my standards very high academically, but when it came to music [,] it was different. For many years [,] one of my biggest fears was to sing in front of an audience and because of that, I denied RUINED my chance of ENTERing inTO my school’s art program. On February 2nd, every year, was when there were auditions for who had a part in the annual arts competition. Many of my family and friends believed in me and the only one that didn’t was me. They made it their job to push me and motivate me to participate in the show. Little by little [,] I gained confidence.Everyone at school didn’t know I could sing and thought that I want courageous enough to audition — in front of an audience NONETHELESS. One thing I am proud of is that I showed everyone, including me, that I was able to get into A PUBLIC competition AND SING my heart out. And BOY the results showed. …
When I was 15 years old [,] I wanted a six-pack so badly [,]I decided to change my diet from fried foods and candies to fruits and vegetables. I thought I would never be able to go even a month without any OF THESE JUNK foods because during those 15 years you could say I was a candy addict; I would go to the dollar tree by my house TO buy like 3-6 packS of gummies and go home and eat them all in one day — I was JUST loveD the sight and taste of candy. My diet WAS ONLY MADE MORE DIFFICULT because in my house my mom would always buy junk foods and INCESSANTLY cook fried foods. NONETHELESS, a month later, I was on track eating healthily. ONE DARK DAY, HOWEVER, A friend BECKONED ME TO, “have a cheat meal.” I was like, “I haven’t had junk in so long — one day won’t do anything, but I was so wrong.” When I had my first bite of that sweet candy, I became addicted again and my cheat meal turned into multiple cheat days. AFTER THAT POINT, I would look in the mirror and was like, “what am I doing wrong? I run 3 miles a day, eat 1000 calories a day, do abs 2 times a day … why don’t I have a six-pack??? Two more months had passed and I was still stuck in this loophole. At last, I decided I would find other substitutes to fill my sweet urges such as protein pancakes, honey, blueberries and yogurt, protein bars, etc. A few more months had passed and I was back on the right track; I was UTTERLY IMMUNE TO THE CALL OF junk food, candies, and sodas. That’s when I started seeing tremendous progress: my top 4 abs were now popping and all I had left were the bottom 2. A year later, I finally had a six-pack. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I was very proud of myself because for me junk food and candy were all I ever ate and to change my eating habit to something so different, I felt like it was THE WORLD’S greatEST accomplishment.
This is a well-written brief narrative on an excellent accomplishment. See my edits, however.
in accident, my system glitched out and posted the same thing four times
Moving to New York on my own as a only child to go to school was something that no one believeD I was going to do. Everyone believed THOUGHT I was too spoiled and dependent to move to a different country. I woke up on morning one more two weeks after graduating from college on the islands, and just applied to several CUNY schools without telling anyone — not even my parents. My family and I were going to come to the states on a family vacation in November. I then told my parents about me applying to schools up here after I senT in all the documents and was waiting to see if I was accepted to any. They were really shocked with me doing so. I then PROCURED a job JUST 4 weeks after moving up . Some of my family thought I would move back home after a month BUT I’m still here working , going to school, and living on my own.
This is a great tale — one that you could work on further for essay # 1. You have lots of great details you could fill in here
When I was young , I was always pretty competitive as a person and my competitive side went towards sports, at first specifically soccer, I played as a defender right back and the discipline and hard work you have to put to this sport Is intense and I was up for that challenge. After competing for a few years In soccer I found another passion which was martial arts. I started of with judo the same discipline and I had previously from soccer I added to martial arts like judo. It was about 3-4 years of training and then I started competing for about 1 year and then I stopped again the sport, what surprised me Is that I stop and I start again In different sports. Fast forward a couple of years from now I stopped doing sports completely which was a huge mistake but that turned around really soon after. I started again but instead of doing a sport I went to the gym, and the main purpose of me starting the gym is to break boundaries and so I gained stronger and faster and healthier, I developed a mindset that allowed me to think more about my health and less about anything else, I was just focused on getting better, and this was a point In my life that got me thinking about myself and the first thing that popped In my head was that hard work pays off and I everything I did In my life paid off, because I would never thought that I would be able to do things out of my comfort zone and now I am better mentally and physically, this is what impressed me the most about me.
When I was young , I was always pretty competitive as a person and my competitive side went towards sports, at first specifically soccer, I played as a defender right back and the discipline and hard work you have to put to this sport Is intense and I was up for that challenge. After competing for a few years In soccer I found another passion which was martial arts. I started of with judo the same discipline and I had previously from soccer I added to martial arts like judo. It was about 3-4 years of training and then I started competing for about 1 year and then I stopped again the sport, what surprised me Is that I stop and I start again In different sports. Fast forward a couple of years from now I stopped doing sports completely which was a huge mistake but that turned around really soon after. I started again but instead of doing a sport I went to the gym, and the main purpose of me starting the gym is to break boundaries and so I gained stronger and faster and healthier, I developed a mindset that allowed me to think more about my health and less about anything else, I was just focused on getting better, and this was a point In my life that got me thinking about myself and the first thing that popped In my head was that hard work pays off and I everything I did In my life paid off, because I would never thought that I would be able to do things out of my comfort zone and now I am better mentally and physically, this is what impressed me the most about me.
I am a Bangladeshi girl. Bangladesh is a South Asian small independent country. India and Bangladesh have large land borders. We became independent in 1971 from Pakistan. Now I will tell you a sad story of my life. We are 3 sisters. When I was 3 years old my younger sister was adopted by my aunt because she had no child. At that time she was 10 months. I and my mother always cried for her. Even my aunt was very rude to us when I and my mother kissed her or hug her. In such a situation we would secretly cry for her. I never told her she is my sister because if I told her she would come to us and my aunt would get very sad. But the neighbors would tell her and she got sad but never express to us. I and my parents lived 250 kilometers away from her. Even we met once a time every year. We missed her a lot. When I was 10 years old then my 3rd sister was born and I was very happy to see her. Then gradually we have grown up and seen each other once a year. After a long time when I was 18 in 2015, I got married. On my marriage day, I hug her and we both cried. And I told her that I am her real sister and my parents are her parents. She told me that she knew everything but did not tell anyone because she loved my aunt and uncle very much. They both raising her with a lot of care. At my wedding, we revealed the truth. and we got rid of a lot of hard emotional distress. Now I feel free to talk, love, advice, and rule her as an elder sister.
Moving to New York on my own as a only child to go to school was something that no one believe I was going to do. Everyone believed I was too spoiled and dependent to move to a different country. I woke up on morning one more two weeks after graduating from college on the islands, and just applied to several CUNY schools without telling anyone not even my parents. My family and I were going to come to the states on a family vacation in November. I then told my parents about me applying to schools up here after i send in all the documents and was waiting to see if i was accepted to any. they were really shocked with me doing so. I then got a job 4 weeks after moving up . Some of my family thought i would move back home after a month and im still here working , going to school and living on my own.