11 thoughts on “Feedback for Pamela Alegia”

  1. I liked how in your essay you talked about the the great opportunity you had and how it changed you. I Liked the part when you realized that you were capable of doing the work. Something you should do is read your work out loud so you can catch little mistakes like the ones in your essay.

  2. I liked how in your essay you talked about the the great opportunity you had and how it changed you. I Liked the part when you realized that you were capable of doing the work. Something you should do is read your work out loud so you can catch little mistakes like the ones in your essay.

  3. I liked your essay it was very detailed, I also liked the positive impact this program had on you. you should definitely expand on how joining this program made you feel and include the difficulties you faced as well and how you overcame them. Overall, it was a good essay

  4. I like how you began the essay with a quote , it was really different. there was a few minor errors. To add more details you can explain why you didn’t quit in paragraph 4, you can add what you and your friends did to motivate each other and include all of the opportunities that was given to you. do you think back about how the program shared you in present day?

  5. Your essay it was very different because you talk about the opportunity that you have en High School. I like your essay you it’s was very detailed and it’s beautiful the positive impacts that had the program on you.

  6. I really liked your essay I thought it provided insight in how the program changed you as a person. You mentioned the opportunity the program opened up for you as well as the overall positive impact it had on you; I think that you can add more details in your essay for instance the possible friends you made in that program and the mentors that helped you along the way; as well as the little grammatical errors made along the way. But, I really enjoyed your essay.

  7. I found your essay unique because of your experience in high school. Some grammatical errors could’ve been fixed and details could’ve been added to elaborate on your experiences but it was overall an interesting essay.

  8. I found your essay interesting talking about your high school experience. You spoke about how school changed you and how you improved. Just a few grammar mistakes and just a few more details such as the people in your highschool or other classes. Overall good essay!

  9. I thought your essay was interesting how you described your high school experience. I like how you talked about your growth as a person in the program and how you found out the major you were interested in isn’t for you. The only thing is to add details.

  10. I like how you add a lot of details about your high school and the program you was in. Also how it helped you with your studies for 4 years. I just think that you can add details about how you grew as a person and fix grammar mistakes !

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