17 thoughts on “Feedback for Fatima Rahman”

  1. I liked the detail you added on the way teacher treated you back in middle school versus how teachers treated you in high school. But you can expand on specific moment they helped you so we can get an idea on how they helped you you and made you feel supported.

  2. I liked the start of your essay it got me hooked right away, I like the details you included talking about how you could not do the work and how everyone doubted you and how you were doubting yourself. Something you should do is read over your essay because there were lots of grammatical errors throughout your paper.

  3. I enjoyed how you were very in depth with your emotions and how even after you found out you had a learning disability, you were still trying your best. But, a suggestion I have is to make sure you be careful on not having run on sentences and also with your grammar.

  4. You can improve on the wording you used for certain sentences and also some sentences were a bit confusing to understand. capitalization is also need some improvement. I liked how you included that you didn’t let your learning disability discourage you ability to move on and get where you need to be. You can include how you mange these thing now being in college.

  5. I liked the topic of your essay and the way you started off, however there’s some grammatical errors and I think you should reword some of your sentences because they come off as kinda of confusing. Also try making your sentences a bit longer; I think you can add more details when it comes to how you handle your learning disability now. But I did really enjoy your essay.

  6. While I overall like your essay, there many grammatical errors and words spelled incorrectly. I liked the intro and the topic in general. I think you just to focus on grammar, the essay felt a little rushed i would to see revised and expanded upon.

  7. I like how you describe what you had been through  and how you changed over time. There are some grammar that need to be fix. But overall I like your essay and all the details.

  8. I like how you opened your essay, it really caught the readers attention, I also loved your transitioning word choice. I like how you had a turning point where you met more supportive teachers. I also enjoyed reading your closing paragraph. Where you reflected on your past school experiences

  9. I like the educational experience you chose to write about I think you should talk more about how you struggled in school due to not knowing English growing up and discuss the positive impact that came out of this more. You need to fix grammatical errors throughout the essay but I really like this experience and how you proved the teachers wrong by achieving what they thought you weren’t capable of.

  10. I really liked how you go in depth with your emotions. I liked how you compared your middle school and high school teachers. Maybe you can add a specific moment when they helped you. I would suggest to reword some sentences, and check for grammatical errors. I really liked how you spoke about your learning disability and how you are overcoming that.

  11. There were a lot of grammatical errors but I still enjoyed reading your essay because you didn’t let yourself be defined by your learning disability. You were able to achieve more than what your teachers thought you could and I really liked that you were determined. Some of the sentences were hard to read because of the grammatical errors and were kind of choppy but that can be improved.

  12. I liked the intro and the topic, I think you can add more details when it comes to how you handle your learning disability now. But I did really enjoy your essay.

  13. I thought it was good, you just needed to fix some grammatical errors and give more details. However I did like when you spoke about the difference of teachers between middle and high school and how they helped you with your struggles

  14. I believe the essay was good, although there were some grammatical errors that could be fixed. Overall the essay was very well thought out, and I liked how your different experiences between high school and middle affects you through your struggles.

  15. I Like your intro starting from “It might sound like a cliche” and how you explain how education is important to you. It wss really nice how you explained your feelings in almost every paragraph but fix grammar and make sentences longer.

  16. I Like your intro starting from “It might sound like a cliche” and how you explain how education is important to you. It wss really nice how you explained your feelings in almost every paragraph but fix grammar and make sentences longer.

  17. I liked the way you started your essay cause it sounded interesting and i wanted to read more. You expressed your feelings and explained how school impacted you. Few grammar mistakes and longer detailed sentences.

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