English 1101 Fall 2019 Section 342
Composition 1
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Your essay was really interesting, I liked the beginning it hooked me and had me wondering. I liked the specific details you gave for example when you talked about your tutor, how your mom had a heavy accent, and how you were excited about school. I think it was really messed up for you to get discriminated against just because of your last name. I thought it was inspirational when your mom told you that your just gonna have to prove them wrong. Something to improve on is stretching out your sentences because they were too short.
I enjoyed your essay, it included lots of details. This essay seem like something that followed you throughout your life and it may be stuck with you. I think you should reword a couple of words and you can also include how things are with your language too day. I think you can add semicolons in especially where your short sentences are because they can be extended.
The essay was really good and interesting, Also was very interesting how this experience help you grow and I like it because I can relate to it as an immigrant. Also you should add more in your conclusion. I like the details that you put like how your mother used to pronounce the “r”
I’ll first start off by saying that I love how you opened, the beginning of your essay was flawless, I like how you started us off with a definition and then a follow up question. I also admired how you talked about your life being revolves around Spanish and then you gave examples; this gave the reader a feel of how much things changed for you when you started school, I also liked your word choice, “utterly” let us as the reader know exactly how excited you were. I do wish you explained how you felt when you were put in the ESL class
Your essay was very interesting, it caught my attention from the opening paragraph your opening was great. I like the way you explained the lesson that you learned. the essay was very detailed, I like how you explained how your mothers English was kind of rough and how she articulated words with a Spanish accent. One thing I disliked was how short the paragraphs were, you could have extended the paragraphs by expanding on ideas or by combining some of the sentences you had .
I enjoyed how you discussed your obstacle, you made sure you put detail into it and you were descriptive. I felt like I was able to visualize it. You also did not have many grammar mistakes. However, a certain part where I felt like you could have added more details was when you discussed crossing the border. I felt you could have discussed what you do remember.
I enjoyed reading your experience with language with first coming to this country and your encounters with it. Along with that the first paragraph was written well which grabbed the readers attention wondering what was to come in the essay.
Your essay is extremely captivating, it hooked me from the very start which made me enjoy reading it. I though you had a great amount of detail; specifically the pronunciation of the “r“. I didn’t spot any grammatical errors, however you can expand some more on the things you mentioned in your essay as a way to make your sentences a bit longer.
I love how you described your experience with the English language. You gave so many details from your view and those around you. I love how you out so much attention to detail.
Your essay was really interesting, I liked the beginning it hooked me and had me wondering. I liked the specific details you gave for example when you talked about your tutor, how your mom had a heavy accent, and how you were excited about school. I didn’t spot any grammatical errors, however you can expand some more on the things you mentioned in your essay as a way to make your sentences a bit longer.
I like how you started off your essay it really grabbed my attention I also like how you mentioned how much of an impact this experience had on your life you should mention what this experience shows about our society and the world we live in. you had a few grammatical errors that need to be fixed.
I really enjoyed reading your essay and found it eye opening because it helped me see the difficulties immigrants had to face after going to a new environment. In addition, including the way your mom pronounces “r”‘s with an accent is a good detail because it showed a contrast between adjusting to coming to the Americas and her heritage back home.
I really liked this essay because I was able to connect with it on a personal level. I have never noticed any discrimination against me in my time, however I know how it feels to be bullied for being someone who is considered abnormal in a certain school society.
I really liked your first sentence it was really powerful, also I liked the part where your mom was talking with you. I want know more details about who the people that asked you a question and what kind of question they asked you. overall your essay was powerful, I enjoyed reading your essay.
I really like your essay it was a good start. You just have to expand on one idea only! Add details about a specific experience you went through. Have multiple paragraphs instead on short paragraphs.