16 thoughts on “Feedback for Kenia”

  1. I liked your essay a lot, I felt like you went into details about what it was like going to school there and the things you have seen and experienced while being there. For example when you were talking about how scary the bathrooms were, what the teachers did if the homework wasn’t done, the gang in the school, and how you were bullied. Something to improve on is using the correct words in some of your sentences.

  2. Your essay was very interesting and that is what readers want in an essay and I enjoyed that; it was also good that you included many experiences but I think you should go more in depth of those experiences. There are minor grammatical errors and I think you should include when you started a new educational experience, did parents ever try to change what was going on, do you like your new educational experience and so on.

  3. I enjoyed reading your essay. I like how you described how the bathrooms were, in your school and how you talked about some of the issues that you went through. I think it would be a good idea to actually put the country that you’re referring too, also I noticed that you had many of the same ideas cut off with a period which made everything seem brief; it would be nice if you would go into detail about your experience

  4. I liked the topic of your essay. I also enjoyed the story telling in it as well, I feel as if you really portrayed your emotions well. One thing I disliked about it though is that you did not include what country you are from, that would have made the essay much easier to understand. I also think you should have included some differences between your country and this one. Also there were some gramatical errors so you should watch out for that

  5. I liked the topic of your essay. I also enjoyed the story telling in it as well, I feel as if you really portrayed your emotions well. One thing I disliked about it though is that you did not include what country you are from, that would have made the essay much easier to understand. I also think you should have included some differences between your country and this one. Also there were some gramatical errors so you should watch out for that

  6. I really enjoyed how detailed your essay was and how the readers were able to feel your emotion too.  You told a good story through these things. However, you should be careful with your grammar mistakes and also I feel like you could have been able to go more in depth about your experiences.

  7. I really enjoyed listening to your experience of school in your country. There was good detail and you gave a good summary of how you felt during those times. As the reader I was able to understand how you felt and just how difficult the moment was for you. Only thing is there were a few grammar issues but other than that the paper was good.

  8. I really liked the topic of your essay, I thought it was extremely interesting . The details in your essay were good, however, I wish you went a bit more in depth, maybe express your emotions more. There’s a few grammatical errors here and there but overall I enjoyed the essay.

  9. The way you explained how you country education was very messed up was great I liked the details you added like you could escape school with out them noticing.But you were also missing many details like the country you are from.

  10. The details in your essay were good, however, I wish you went a bit more in depth, maybe express your emotions more. I also enjoyed the story telling in it as well, I feel as if you really portrayed your emotions well.

  11. I like how you mentioned the impact this had on your life you should absolutely discuss that more in depth throughout the essay. you also had many grammatical errors that need to be fixed but besides that your essay was very interesting and isn’t really something people experience as often and just shows how much we take the education we receive in America for granted when many people wish for it.

  12. I liked how you spoke about the poor education system in your country. You have a lot of details but maybe you can elaborate on some of them. For example, when you said that the teachers would hit the students with the ruler, how did that make you feel? or did you ever experience this? It would also help if you add the country you are from. Other than that, I really liked your essay and the story it told.

  13. one think I liked that you appreciated the education you got in here, and you are aware of that. lot of people does not aware of the education they get in here .  when I was in my country I has also the same things with my teacher they would hit the student. you should be more careful next time you had small mistake otherwise it was good

  14. I liked your essay topic because it pointed out the obvious problems of today’s education systems. Your experience is very unique from others and I think that’s good that you chose to talk about it in your essay. It was easy to envision what your experience in school was like because you described them really well. There were some grammatical errors in your essay but that can be improved.

  15. I feel it is a rather difficult practice to create connection of emotion between the reader and author, however you manage to create it in a smooth fashion. The topic of the essay was surely an interesting one and one of the most different of the essays presented.

  16. I feel like you did a great job to keep the reader to feel excited about what’s your next move ! You can add details about how You had poor education experience and how it was a struggle for you.

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