“Lisa, you are a very good student. You can study anything–even if you don’t like it.”
I will always remember these words spoken to me by my father. These words were meant as a compliment but felt as a mixture of insult and motivation. In my mind the resulting thought was: My brothers were smarter than me, but I was a just good at studying. Today kids would call me a “grind.” In fact I proved such a good student that I could get myself all the way to medical school – through premed analytical chemistry which I hated, through organic chemistry lab which put holes in my blue jeans, through the MCATS which I toiled for a whole summer in preparation — and arrived at age 23 as a first year med school student before I realized this path wasn’t what I wanted, and that I didn’t know what I wanted in life. I dropped out of medical school. I felt lost, groundless, like a failure, and depressed.
IDEAS TO DEVELOP INTO TWO FULL PARAGRAPHS
“Lisa, you are a very good student. You can study anything–even if you don’t like it.”
I will always remember these words spoken to me by my father. We were sitting at the dining room table. Just my dad and me, no one else. My mom was in the kitchen and I can smell the cha sha pork, but it wasn’t making me feel better. This was supposed to be an important conversation because I was 17 and I knew we were talking about my college future. Â
I knew my dad’s words were meant as a compliment but I felt the impact of his compliment as a mixture of insult and motivation. In my mind what I thought was: My dad thinks my brothers are smarter than me. He thinks the only thing I do well is study. [develop more by describing, detailing, list the way I studied]
I looked around and of course it was just me and him. There was no one to hear us and I really had nothing to say. I was a good student. I always had been a good student. These thoughts were going though my head in the quietness of the dining room.
When I look back at myself, if it were today I know that kids would call me a “grind.” Someone who studies all the time. In fact I proved such a good student that I could get myself all the way to medical school [yeah need to set the first sentences back in time] – through premed analytical chemistry which I hated, through organic chemistry lab which put holes in my blue jeans, through the MCATS which I toiled for a whole summer in preparation — and arrived at age 23 as a first year med school student before I realized this path wasn’t what I wanted, and that I didn’t know what I wanted in life. I dropped out of medical school. I felt lost, groundless, like a failure, and depressed.
