Social media has been able to take away people’s social life nowadays, but as far as for me my only way of communicating how I feel is through my journal. My journal has really became my safe haven. I had gone through one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. I thought I had real friends at one point in middle school, who are going to be supportive and not turn their backs against me. Yet, my assumptions of those friends being loyal towards me was wrong.
In middle school I had three friends. We started off as great and had no worries. Although throughout the friendship, one of the girls who acted like the group leader of our friendship became jealous . I never understood her jealousy towards me. I had always supported her and shared everything I had with her. She started throwing subliminals at me and the other two friends laughed along with her. She also started to make rumors about me, for example she told everyone how I stole candy from the teachers desk and she made me look like I was using her to have popularity in our grade. Instead of being my friends like I thought they where they became my bullies.
At first, I ignored their mean comments ;I also kept my distance from them. Yet, they never stopped bothering me and making me feel like an outcast. They continued to judge me based on the clothes I wore since they were not name brand. Also they brought my self esteem down because I was constantly called ugly and hideous. I was upset and I decided to confront them. The confrontation did not end well. One of the girls slapped me and we started throwing hands at each other. All three girls ganged up on me and we fought back and forth. This fight was a traumatic experience because my hair was pulled out and my hair is very precious to me . Not only was my hair pulled out but I had no one to talk to after the altercation. I was lonely and it felt like as I walked through the hallways I felt judged and uncomfortable. I felt everyone staring at me. It seemed like they were looking at me to see if I was broken which i was. I felt like I no longer belonged at that school. I wanted to change schools and start over. However, I thank my english teacher, Ms.Stringer for checking up on me and seeing if I was okay. My English teacher saw that I was not the same as I was before the fight. She realized I had no friends and I became very distant from the world. I also used to participate in class alot but I stopped completely and I became silent. Ms.Stringer spoke with me one day after class. She told me that usually bullies are upset with themselves and when they see others who are confident and secure they want to bring them down. She explained to me how I shouldn’t let the fight define me as weak but show me that I can break through obstacles. She also recommended I write everyday in my journal. Ms.Stringer explained to me that writing would help me define myself and let out my emotions in a safe space
The journal, may have been the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was able to write about how angry ,happy and miserable I was, without the feeling of being judged by anyone. I had also improve my social skills and began expressing myself more in class without fear of being judged. I never cared about those girls anymore and they were surprised that I was also able to make new friends who respected me. The journal was a breakthrough for me and I feel like if anyone is going through problems or a traumatic situation, they need to speak to someone first and begin writing their emotions and feelings down because they would be able to overcome that state of unhappiness or depression and become strong and confident in themselves.