Redoanul Islam Essay 2 Feedback


I’ve actually posted most of my comments on your document itself.  Let me know if you can’t see them.

This is a good start, but let’s develop it a good deal.

–I want you to make a paragraph out of your questions and also form a thesis that explains how you think Malik’s song comments on the limitations of poverty–of growing up poor–and also how it comments on the importance of following your passion.

–Quote more from the song and explain how the quotations connect to your thesis/interpretation.

–I also want to see you describing the sounds of the music much more.

Thank you,


5 thoughts on “Redoanul Islam Essay 2 Feedback”

  1. Hi Redoanul,

    Thanks for sharing your Essay 2. I truly enjoyed your song choice, ‘‘Besabriyaan’’. While I couldn’t understand the language, it was quite beautiful to listen to. Hearing how the song resonated with you inspired me to find out more about its origin and M.S. Dhoni’s journey to sports. More details on the song backstory and the artist would give more clarity to readers who are curious to know why you looked up to him. Also, I really like how you posed your questions at the end of your essay. Your questions were thoughtful and can’t be answered easily. I would be interested to see more details on how these questions came to be in correlation to specific lyrics to the song.

    Take care, and good luck with your final draft!

  2. Hey Redoanul,
    I hope all is well. I liked the melody for the song “Besabriyaan” that you are using for your essay 2 haha.
    Although the language is foreign to me I’m glad that it inspires you to write about your experience in sports such as cricket. I thought that you had a pretty good idea of the questions you wanted to use for your essay, I suggest you develop these throughout your essay’s final draft when you get there. Also it might be a good idea to connect the lyrics to the article you mentioned. Good luck with your final draft and take care!

  3. Hello Redoanul,

    Good draft! I look forward to seeing you in the Premier League next year. Are you a better batter or bowler? (That’s kind of a tongue twister.) Good start on your essay, mate. Interesting choice going in a more positive direction with your social issue. Having a passion is definitely important in life as it basically serves as your fuel/motivation. As you discuss its importance, make sure you continuously refer to the lyrics of the song. The lyrics and you should always be on the same page. Speaking of which, I understand how you got the theme of passion from the movie that the song is from, but how do you draw that theme from the song? I have to agree with Professor on this one, I think you should explain more clearly your interpretation of the song’s lyrics.

    Be safe!

  4. Hi Redoanul,

    I like how you included a line that was in a different language and also translated to help us understand what it means. Also I like how you gave background info about your favorite athlete. This draft is a great start and I’m looking forward To seeing the final essay.

  5. The song was in a different language so that thew me off a little.the song is 4 min long I wished you dive in and explained the connection to a social issue more. You’ve only scracted the surface of the lyrical relevance wished you dove into the instrumental application. Like why so and so instrument was placed there; What does that add to the overall mood or tone of the song: And how does all of that apply to your social issue

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