Glad to have read and workshopped your draft last week on Zoom with several other Zoomers–but sorry you couldn’t attend. I hope everything is ok with you and your family.
Regarding the essay, I agree with Brittny’s positive feedback on your description of the sounds in the song—although I also think it’s crucial to introduce close readings of the song’s lyrics as well. Here were a few ideas we discussed for adding to and changing your draft during the workshop:
–After we listened to “Boys Don’t Cry” together, we talked about how, based on the song’s title, many of us were expecting the song to be a different genre—R&B, for instance, came to a couple people’s minds—other than rock (or, perhaps more accurately, post-punk). We thought that you could perhaps begin the essay with a discussion of how many listeners might expect a very different song based on its title—and, more broadly, how to words in the title connect to the ideas about masculinity that you are discussing in the paper. You might also address the question of irony in this song—words not meaning what they seem to mean.
–You might also consider writing about the genre of music that this is and how it connects people pursuing a specific lifestyle—e.g., punks, skaters, etc. What is it about music that often helps people band together in groups/lifestyles?
–I had the thought that because “masculinity” is such a central idea in this paper, you should make a paragraph that discusses what it means—for you, and in the context of the song.
–Again, I’d suggest moving your questions so that they go toward the end of your introductory paragraphs and open up the essay’s transition into your close readings of your texts and the song’s lyrics/sounds.
–Introduce the title and author of the article on the Gillette ad. Also, given that you’re writing about gender here, you could connect this text to Andrea Chu’s text that we read way back at the beginning of the semester.
Be in touch with any questions. I know this is a lot.