Redoanul Islam Sahat E1 Feedback



Good first draft, but given that it’s rather brief, let’s expand it!

There are is at least one story here, full of potential suspense (and readers love suspense): the story of applying to colleges, hoping to get into certain schools, and ultimately hearing back from them and having your fate decided for you by admissions committees.

To that end, I want you to slow down and describe several days during this process—perhaps when you first applied and then days when you were waiting in suspense to hear back, and then finally days when letters started coming back.  I want you to describe each of these days—and your thoughts and feelings within each one—in agonizing detail.

You could write a book on this!

(I also want to hear more about why you think you could have slept through senior year–but only go into that if you think it’s relevant, which it could be!)


5 thoughts on “Redoanul Islam Sahat E1 Feedback”

  1. Hi Redoanul,

    I hope all is well. Nice start, I was really captivated with your title. “Power of Rejection” that drew me in as a reader to find out what that meant to you. Why did you decide to go with that title? Will it play a role throughout the essay when you finish it. I enjoyed how I was able to relate to your essay, I’m sure all of us had put in the college applications at some point in our lives and if not even a college application some of us have faced some form of rejection. To me it’s what you do after the rejection that defines your character.

    I’m looking forward in seeing what you do with this essay and topic.

  2. Hey Redoanul,
    I enjoyed reading your essay I found it very relatable because I experienced something similar and I feel like any other college students probably experienced the same thing. When you waiting on college acceptance letters it can be very stressful waiting to find out whether you got accepted or not. When I found out that I was going to CIty Tech and I didn’t get accepted to Hunter I was really sad. I was really looking forward to going to Hunter, it made me feel like I might have to take a different path for my career because I didn’t know what to do. Overall your essay seemed good but I do recommend you making your essay longer by trying to put more details. You can try to elaborate by talking about what colleges you wanted to go to, what is your career choice/major, and what was your favorite college and why. Adding more details and proofreading can help to make your easy stronger.

  3. Hello Redoanul,

    Nice start! I got denied by my top college as well, so I understand how you feel. I’m not sure how you plan on continuing the story, but I think it would be interesting to read a story that starts with you slacking, then builds up to you finding out about your rejection. In the beginning you can talk about your senioritis then develop up to the moment you open get the letter. (That would be the climax.) Just a suggestion. Also, look out for small grammatical errors.

    Be safe!

  4. set the scene for us. I know how my senior year was like describe more of your senior year. go back to seen junior year foreshadow why you didn’t get accepted to these colleges. Wish you said what school they were. giving us the name of the school you rejected to make us have more of a connection. For example had you said “I got rejected from Harvard” my thoughts would be wowww he’s very ambitious. You tell us you did study well in high school elaborate on that idea. why was city tech on your list? in you finally sentence you said “Now in college,I am not making the same mistakes that I made in high school” elaborate on these mistakes

  5. Hey Redoanul,
    This is an amazing start, I definitely relate to this. Expanding your story in some places will definitely give you more material to work with. How was the college application process? What made you pick city tech as your school of choice? Did the same thing happen to your friends/classmates? Including things like that can help expand your essay.

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