Project 1

Adaptation Story

Honestly there isn’t much to say besides that I am quite surprised.

I never really knew what was going to come out of those interviews and if I even wanted to  take anything out of them. 

From the beginning I knew that my thoughts about this topic weren’t going to change or make it easier for me. No  matter what or in what way you ask me this question, I wouldn’t answer it. See, this question does not have a simple answer. It’s extremely hard for me, I can’t see myself answering it in any form. Like I said in the interview, answering this question either way will seem wrong. If you pick the child you gave birth to you look bad. If you pick the child you have been raising then that’s wrong too, because why wouldn’t you pick your actual child. No matter what you pick you can’t help but regret not picking the other, and also feel like you are disappointing not only yourself but the other person, and the child.

Like who ever wants to be put in this position?

You just can’t win.

The responses I got from both Gloria and Ivan, not only left me wondering how they grew up and the way that their thoughts had influenced their answers. Like how was it so easy for Gloria to just pick a child she doesn’t even know over the one she has been raising. Just because one had her blood and the other didn’t.

            I still can’t seem to understand. How you can just leave the child you’ve known to be your own and walk away. And feel like you’ve made the correct decision. Where in your mind and heart do you find it right to just dismiss them and completely cut them out of your life. See in order for you to make a decision like that it means that you analyze situations and outcomes and choose what’s best. But how do you know that that choice is better?

            I can’t bear the thought of it, if it were ever to happen to me I would be in such a shock. I wouldn’t know how to respond. I have four siblings, if my mom ever came from the doctors saying one of them wasn’t really hers/ours and they had to be removed from our family I would burst out laughing. It would be the most messed up joke out there. I wouldn’t want to just pick someone up from my life and place them outside of it, like a piece of a game. Like no, too bad, wasn’t our mistake. They are ours! A bond you have with a family member isn’t easily broken or forgettable. As a matter of fact it never dies.

Replacing the sibling I thought to be my sibling with my actual sibling would mean starting over. It would mean giving a piece from me away for another one that is also mine. I don’t know. I wouldn’t be able to live knowing the person I grew up with, took care of, loved, and spent all of time at home with is somewhere out there with strangers. Will they be okay? How would he/she feel? Does he/she miss us? Do they know what to do when they are scared? Do they know the signs they need to look for when he/she needs help but doesn’t ask for it? I honestly think that I’d lose it. I’d probably go with him/her so I won’t lose it. 

But don’t get me wrong if I was told that my child was somewhere out there that wasn’t with me. Of course I’d drop everything and go to him/her. I would definitely want to know of the child. I would want my child  to be with me, what parent doesn’t want that. But not at the price of one of my children. Why can’t I have both? 

            Wouldn’t it just be easier to let one mom keep both children? Make it be a scenario where you have to pick both or you get none? But then which mom? And why her and not the other ?

            We aren’t children this decision should be easy?

            I have to admit what Ivan said was interesting, you can’t only focus on your life and how it would change. Yes you are in a horrible position which you can’t let your child know of until you make a decision. You have to take into consideration the child you have been raising. Their feelings, and the events  you will be putting them through if you chose to pick the option of doing the switch. From the moment I heard of the predicament these mom’s were in. I was only focusing on them, and that yes the position they were placed in was a nightmare. It would affect them tremendously. I never wondered how the child might feel. So if I think about the child and the child’s well being. Then obviously I wouldn’t take a child away from their mother to hand them over to a complete stranger. A child’s well being should always be put first, and a parent would always sacrifice anything for them. After all, it’s in a parents nature to do just that. So in this scenario unfortunately the right option and only choice would be to give up your own child. As hard and unfair  as that may be/sound, you can’t just strip a child away from it’s parent figure. 

            It’s hard. Everything about this is hard. Being asked to pick what child you’d give up isn’t easy. Even though you don’t know your biological child and only know of their existence and then by  appearance and name. The decision isn’t easy. 

Honestly if I was a mom and I had this happen I would ask them to undo it! This is something that would absolutely eat me alive and I will most likely definitely die before I make a decision. The thought of it would never leave my mind. I just simply wouldn’t be at piece.

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