ENG1141-D310 Intro to Creative Writing, SP2024

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  • Discussion Board 3: Story Starters
  • #93162

    Jennifer Sears
    Participant
    • See the instructions on the Session 13 Follow Up Notes. (Below)
    • This discussion board will close at the end of the day on Sunday, March 17.

    https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/searseng1141d310-sp2024/2024/03/14/eng-1141-session-13-march-13-notes-and-homework/

    #93166

    cmich77
    Participant

    Detective Inspector Liana ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Inspector Carsen? She expected him to be here when she arrived. A shiver passed through her as wind seeped through her thin jacket, both of her hands coming to clutch around her  frame courtesy of the cool weather of London mid-february. It was an otherwise lazy afternoon in London, groups of young children in uniform playfully tussling with one another, their voices rising with every sentence no doubt recapping their eventful mornings. Tourists milled around the edge of the tiny bridge overlooking a canal of the River Thames, flashes of light reflecting off railings of iron as some snapped hasty photographs trying to avoid bystanders. With nothing to do, Liana leaned over the edge of the bridge to look at the cobblestone streets at either side of the canal.

    Her nose twitched at the smell of pollen and…fire? Liana shot upward and squinted at the streets. A trail of smoke followed a bicycle that sped down the road, over patches of dry grass, turning in her direction. It was quickly followed by a sleek black car with silver wheels and tinted windows. One window rolled down and something glinted beneath the sun. Liana’s blood ran cold and frantically gesturing to those around her, she yelled. “GET DOWN.” Pain erupted from her knees as she threw herself to the ground, terrified yells erupting around her as the first bullet pierced the open air.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by cmich77.
    #93176

    Eshal
    Participant

    I look at Matthew, waiting for him to sit down before I say, “you know I never meant to kill them”. Matthew’s face turned a pale shade of gray in horror replicating the damp humid basement walls. I can’t really make out his facial expressions since the only source of light coming is a single bulb in the middle of the crowded room. Silence pierces the air with only a rhythmic “plop plop” coming from the water dripping down the broken water pipe onto the rough concrete floor. “I mean really there was no other choice left. Would you have rather let those disgusting vile criminals live and enjoy the bliss of prison life? Jail is basically a free house for them with the way the justice system continues to fail us while luxuriously accommodating those horrid creature like humans”.

    Matthew continues to remain silent staring blindly at the icy white ceilings lost in thought. I met Matthew while strolling down the neighborhood, he seemed like a nice caring guy. We coincidentally bumped heads and got along really quickly, or so he thinks that’s how it happened. In reality it was all planned from my side. You see, stalking is a really great hobby of mine. I proceed to get up from the ground and stride toward the basement door laughing, “oh Matthew, if only you never committed those god awful crimes, maybe then you would’ve been alive and questioned why I kill criminals like you.” I leave Matthew’s lifeless cold body laying on the basement floor with his fellow friends while I shut the door behind me.

    #93179

    Brendan Hysa
    Participant

    <p class=”p1″ style=”margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”><span class=”s1″ style=”font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;”>Detective Inspector Elissa ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Steven? She expected him to he here when she arrived.</span></p>
    <p class=”p1″ style=”margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”><span class=”s1″ style=”font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;”>Confused she went to look around, called his phone, and used her radio asking for him. Yet nothing, no sign of him. She looks around to see if she could find any sign of who tried to take her out. She’s surrounded by tree’s and wildlife, there was a storm so she had to look for shelter.</span></p>
    <p class=”p2″ style=”margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 22px; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”></p>
    <p class=”p1″ style=”margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”><span class=”s1″ style=”font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;”> Luckily there was an abandoned house about 300 ft away from her. As she makes it to the house and welcomes herself in she hears a voice. She drawls her pistol out and follows the voice to see if she can make up when they’re saying. She goes to a door which leads to a basement, “it seems as if the voice is downstairs.” she says to herself. As she goes downstairs she hears a man talking on the phone “the job is done he says, Detective Elissa is out.” She walks towards him and yells “PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR” as the man turns around she notices its Steven…</span></p>

    #93180

    Brendan Hysa
    Participant

    Detective Inspector Elissa ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Steven? She expected him to he here when she arrived.
    Confused she went to look around, called his phone, and used her radio asking for him. Yet nothing, no sign of him. She looks around to see if she could find any sign of who tried to take her out. She’s surrounded by tree’s and wildlife, there was a storm so she had to look for shelter.

    Luckily there was an abandoned house about 300 ft away from her. As she makes it to the house and welcomes herself in she hears a voice. She drawls her pistol out and follows the voice to see if she can make up when they’re saying. She goes to a door which leads to a basement, “it seems as if the voice is downstairs.” she says to herself. As she goes downstairs she hears a man talking on the phone “the job is done he says, Detective Elissa is out.” She walks towards him and yells “PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR” as the man turns around she notices its Steven…

    #93181

    Selina Myrtil
    Participant

    I look at Aeden, waiting for him to sit down before I say, “You know, I never wanted to kill them.’ As I say that  Aeden pushes his chair back. It’s fine, Aeden, really I think it’s good now that they’re gone. * Aeden reaches for his phone* I say What do you think you’re doing? Aeden replies that “I’m just checking the time since I have “piano practice”. Aeden you have to promise not to tell anyone okay? I promise you I won’t tell anyone. A few hours later the cops showed up to my house arresting me for the death of them. The evidence they had was the recording that Aeden had on his phone. I was tricked by my best friend and sent away for years. A few hours later Aeden dies by poison.

    I get called in the next day for questioning. I casually sit back and wait for the detective to come in . The detective comes in and says I’m gonna give you a chance to tell the truth or you get more years added to your sentence. I knew whatever I said would not matter so instead I asked for the death penalty. He looked at me in confusion as that was not what he was expecting. I’ve lived many years in this world with Aeden right by my side. If you think I would kill him, that’s on you. But I know I don’t want to live in this world if he’s not in it. The detective accepted what I had to say and said okay if that’s what you want. That day I died to the death penalty. And yes I did kill my bestfriend other people as well but that’s for the detective to find out.

    #93182

    Selina Myrtil
    Participant

    The story is told in second person . I know this because the use of he and she.  What made you want to portray Steven as the bad guy ?

    #93191

    xitlalyrojas1
    Participant
    You get out of the subway at the stop near your house you step out of the station but that is when you realize the street you live on is no longer there, you suddenly feel like a little kid who lost his mom at the grocery store and feels hopeless because they think they won't ever find their mother again. You notice how everything is different. How even the smell of the Italian pizzeria that you would go after school is not even there anymore. Or how the loud music from the speakers down the block went completely mute. You come to a home that does not recognize you as home.  
    
     All you can think about is how the place that once saw you grow up no longer exists. You walk around aimlessly and filled with anxiety trying to make sense of everything that is happening. You ask a business owner rear by what has happened to Mount Eden that everyone remembers he responds and tells you “They bought it all.” The thing you feared the most has happened. The brownstone houses you remember are no longer there. You have seen it happen to every colored neighborhood in New York and now it's happening to your neighborhood. 
    #93195

    xitlalyrojas1
    Participant

    what was the reason for killing the victim in your story and did the person who killed the best friend ever kill Aeden

    #93201

    Afia
    Participant

    Detective Inspector masa ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Eden? She expected him to be here when she arrived. She thought he would be waiting for her here. As she looked at surroundings, her heart sank.There was no trace of him anywhere. All she could hear was the quiet rustling of leaves and birds chirping.

     

    Masa returned the way she had come, concerned, to look for answers. Suddenly, she noticed something bright in the bushes. She approached carefully, prepared to defend herself. What she discovered was frightening – a knife covered in blood. Now she started thinking Is Eden even alive? Her ultimate mission was to solve a murder mystery. Which ends up into the midst of another grim scene.

     

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by Afia.
    #93226

    oussmane
    Participant

    Detective Inspector Meechaw ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Marteech she expected him to be here when she arrived.

    Marteech was in trouble, big trouble. He was on his way to see Meechaw when all of a sudden his car could only drive in reverse. Marteech was puzzled but knew that his friend Gunna had experienced the same issue months before. “Hi Gunna!” Marteech exclaimed on a phone call with him. “How do you do?” Gunna responded. “Well my car is stuck in reverse, how did you deal with this problem?” Gunna forwarded Marteech a reverse driving instructors phone number and said, “He’s the best, he will come to you and teach you how to drive in reverse.” Marteech knew that Meechaw was expecting him so he gave her a call and although she was in disbelief, she decided to continue on with her hiking trail with ought him.

    #93227

    oussmane
    Participant

    reply to Afia :

    point of view is 3rd person

    what was the initial murder mystery?

    #93230

    Emma Piasio
    Participant

    Detective inspector Jess ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Jack? She expected him to be here when she arrived. She really hoped that she didn’t come all the way out here for nothing. But just when she was about to turn around and go back she saw him. There he was sitting peacefully next to a large rock, under the shade of the big tall tree he was leaning on. “Jack” she called, when Jack heard his name he turned around to look at her. Standing up he said “finally you’re here, I didn’t think you would take this long”. After walking over, they shook hands and then cleared the area of leaves on the floor beneath them so they would have somewhere to sit. The two sat down and immediately got to work.

    “Let’s get started Jack we have a lot of work to do” Jess said. And they did, they immediately started discussing the case. Jess knew that Jack would have information but she didn’t know he would have this much. She tried to write down as much as she could despite how fast he was talking. They sat on the ground for about an hour before Jack finally told Jess that that was all he had. Jess told him that because he helped her, she would make sure that he wasn’t a suspect. They both thanked each other for the help, shook hands, and went their own ways. Jess was ready to close the case and Jack was relieved he wouldn’t be questioned.

    #93231

    Emma Piasio
    Participant

    This is third person.

    Why didn’t he just wait until the car guy came to help him?

    #93232

    Daniel
    Participant

    Detective inspector Dick ducked to avoid the branches. Where was Allie? He expected her to be there when he arrived. The whole case could just blow over without her testimony. Dick had waited 13 years of his life to finally bring down the mafia kingpin Vincent Orlezzo, and he was not about to have this torn away from him like this.

    Dick took out his phone to call her, when he heard a woman call out his name. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized it was Allie. “Took you long enough” said Dick. Allie just brushes him off and gets to the details. Over the course of 2 hours, she tells Dick everything he needs to know on Vincent, and with this information, he takes down the crime lord. Dick, having achieved his life’s goal retires from being an officer of the law and moves to the Midwest to live out the rest of his life peacefully with his kids.

     

    The last post posted is in third person.

    My question: Is Jack a criminal? Why would he be relieved that he wasn’t questioned.

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