13 thoughts on “Essay #2 Final Draft”

  1. You are on the right track, Victor. I feel like you can combine the first three paragraphs together because it is just a summary of “The Money.” For your final draft, try to be more descriptive in your essay and use quotes from the text to support your thesis. Additionally, you have to find an outside source that will help you support your interpretation. Compare both of the texts, “The Money” and “The Purloined Letter,” and try to be more specific. Also, do not forget to do the works cited page.

  2. Hi Victor,

    As stated above try to make the summary shorter just one paragraph will do. Adding another article/story will make your thesis stronger and more compelling. Remember when you quote, “Quote” (Author, Page number) . In addition, please don’t forget to add a works cited page at the end of your final essay. I would love to see the final essay.

  3. hey victor,
    Here I have to agree with my fellow classmates about being more descriptive at least in the summary part. Do try to explain yourself more with each quote that you find in the text and maybe try to connect it to another story.

  4. hello victor,
    for writing the essay you deserve credit. I also think that your essay needs improvement from the paragraph stand point. When it comes to moving from one paragraph to another there has to be a transition which switches from one side of the essay to the other. Also your essay has to be properly cited using the mla format. Lastly I think you have to add a little more substance to your essay because we have to write 3-4 pages. Please don’t take this personal I’m just being honest.

  5. hi victor, great job on your essay. just focus on fixing the few grammar errors you have. you could also make your conclusion a bit longer. overall, it’s great

  6. hi victor, great job on your essay. just focus on fixing the few grammar errors you have. you could also make your conclusion a bit longer. overall, it’s great

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