Essay #2
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
Kevin,
I like how you elaborated on the story of the money in your point of view. Please also make connection with another story that is related to the Money. Overall, your essay is good.
Great essay. One suggestion is to check your grammar, specifically, punctuation because you are missing a lot of commas. For example, āOf course there is no proof of what the events in the reading have taken placeā¦ā Additionally, I think that transition words can make your essay more interesting. After the quotation, the only thing you have to write in the parenthesis is the authorās last name and a page number. Do not forget to do the works cited page.
You need look over and correct some grammar issues. You need a works cited page. You need to compare and contrast “The Money” to another story as well.
Hi,
This is a strong first draft but I think you can work on strengthening your thesis because I felt a bit confused on what exactly you were trying to prove with the essay. As others have said just make sure grammatical errors are taken care of . In addition, every time you quote directly from the passage it should be MLA, “Quote” (Author, Page number). Also do not forget to include an updated works cited page at the end of your essay.
Hey Kerving! Just a couple notes, read over the essay to check for any errors, “…the father who couldnāt keep and the mother a hard…” what couldn’t the father keep? just make sure the sentence isn’t missing anything. And a good start with the citations! but you don’t need to write all that information, just write (Diaz, pg#) and that’s all you need! And finally, make sure you have the references page at the end in MLA format. I use easybib.com