Odeica Duke ‘

Professor Lisa Cole

English 1101 Composition 1

16^th May 2022

Final Portfolio

Revision Paragraph for Unit 1: Though there were small errors and mistakes in my Unit 1 assignment, I still choose not to revise it. Whenever I receive a grade for an assignment that I was satisfied with, the thought of revision never crosses my mind. And that is what happened with this assignment. The few errors entailed things like sentence fragments, missing punctuation, lowercase title, and comma splices. If I had revised my Unit 1, some of the things I would have incorporated from the feedback I got were making sure the title was uppercased and fixing the grammar and punctuation. However, the overall feedback I got for my Unit 1 assignment was very helpful. The feedback also highlighted the positive aspect of my Unit 1 which was very reassuring.

Unit 1: Education Narrative

School was not for me until I was finally heard.

Dating back to my earliest memory of education, I have always felt that school was never for me. I have always felt a disconnect between me and school. Do not get me wrong, I liked learning, it was the teachers, rules, and hierarchy I disliked. Much like Olivarez, most of my teachers taught via the banking method. We, the students, were just expected to take in as much information as we could and never question authority. Most days, a debate or misunderstanding would erupt between me and my teachers. Which started because I would calmly voice my opinions, as I would put it, that were viewed as disrespect. Shutting up and being a human educational sponge was something I could never do. Learning was exceedingly difficult, but it was something I had to do, especially since education was an exaggeratedly important part of my household.

School was a battlefield. Every day going into school I had this mindset that it was either going to be me or the teachers. And of course, I chose myself. However, this always resulted in a conflict since I was not going to betray my morals and upbringing just to make some teacher happy. Constantly bickering with the teacher made my school life incredibly stressful and hard which in turn harmed my grade. Like my grades were terrible, I knew that I could have done better but when situations are designed for you to fail there is little to no chance of success. One time while in my home economics class, my teacher was grading the work she gave us during class, it was near the end of class, and I was the last person in the line. So, it is my turn, I walk up to her desk in the front of the class, place my book on the table then proceed to put my hands on my hips and talk to my friends. She then told me to move my hands, which I did. A few minutes later my hands were on my hips again and I was doing it subconsciously. She then started to raise her voice and I did the same in return. Soon after a screaming match erupted that was loud enough for the whole class to hear, but not to disturb the other classes on the floor. The whole thing turned into a big situation to the point where she stopped calling my name when taking attendance and refused to acknowledge my existence. This did not bother me because we did not get along before the incident and her leaving me alone was a plus. As for my attendance, I did not mind that either because I knew I was going to school, and I knew that she was the one that was not doing her job. This was soon resolved after a long and honest conversation. This conversation evoked something in me, it had me thinking since it was the first time, I had witnessed a teacher apologize for their wrongdoing. It was a beacon of hope as it was around the time my perspective on school started to change and that one conversation was the main reason. My perspective was not the only thing that changed after that conversation, my relationship with my teacher took a positive turn.

However, this new perspective was about to be a major part of my “new life.” Life in the Caribbean was an extremely distinct experience from the life I have now in the U.S in every aspect ranging from school to home. I moved to the United States a few months after to begin the journey of my “new life.” Within a few days, I was ready for my first day of High School. There are no words to express the lack of hope, enthusiasm, and motivation I felt about having to go to school again. As I thought it was going to be a repetition of what I have always experienced. On my first day of high school, I remember being nervous and just saddened at the fact that I would finish high school without being allowed the chance to truly express myself. Even though my perspective had changed there was still a voice in the back of my head constantly reminding me of all the dreadful things that I had faced in my school life so far. With all that I was facing in school, the weather made it worse. Having to leave the comfort of one’s warm and cozy house to battle the freezing weather outside was something I was not prepared for. One would think that when leaving the comfort of their home to travel in the cold to get to school. The polite thing the school could do is make sure the heaters are working but it was not. The classrooms were as cold as outside and still some students were asking the teacher to open the windows. The weather and school took a while to get used to.

My English class was the only class that terribly excited me. On a regular Friday afternoon, I vividly remember being overly excited for my 7th period English class (not because it was my last class of the day or week.) I was genuinely excited to be in the class since we were assigned an essay where we had to write about our views on a specific historical event of our choice that we connected with. Her assignments were easy, but you had to deeply think about the prompt and write what is in your heart, and that was something I have always wanted to do but never really got the chance to. The most efficient way I express myself is through writing, so having to write about something that I am passionate about has restored my faith in school. To top it off, my English teacher, Ms. Juarez, was genuinely nice, understanding, and motivating. She treated every student as if they were her child. Ms. Juarez, along with my old teacher, changed my perspective on school and how one should learn. The classwork she assigned and the conversations we had challenged me to think outside my norms which broadened my perspective.

It is not a secret the American school system differs from those in other countries. While in a Caribbean high school education and learning were solely based on retaining as much information as you could. The Caribbean educational environment is a place the teachers taught, and the students learned, no in-between. The chance to voice one’s opinion or question the abuse of authority was never allowed. However, American high school eluded a safe space where everyone was a student no matter the title they held. Teachers often asked the students their opinion on events that may have affected them in some way. Teachers knew they do not know everything there is in the world. To them, this is an advantage, coming into the classroom they know students had different experiences and knowledge. Creating a place where every student felt heard was more important than retaining information since everyone has their unique style of learning.

Revision Paragraph for Unit 2: If you read my reason for not revising Unit 1 then you’ll know why I did not revise Unit 2, good grades equal no revision. I have this tendency of putting work on the back burner once I have submitted it never looking back. And that is what I did with Unit 2. The only time I reopen that assignment after I submitted it was to check what grade I got. Once again, the feedback I got for Unit 2 was minor mistakes like grammatical errors, sentence fragments, missing punctuation, and comma splices. If I had revised my Unit 2, some of the things I would have incorporated from the feedback I got were making sure the title was uppercased and fixing the grammar and punctuation.

Unit 2: Reflective Annotated Bibliography

How has lack of representation for people of color contributed to the racial and gender gap within the STEM Fields?

Representation does not only affect how we see ourselves and others, but it also influences how we look at our future and the possibilities that await us. As early as I could remember I have always had this burning desire to find out everything and anything there is to know about outer space. Hearing this one would think that my dream job was to become an astronaut but that was not the case for me. Even though I did not want to go to space I still wanted something to do with it, so when I found out about Aerospace Engineering I was really intrigued. I remember I would watch every movie and video, read every book, and article and even look at pictures anything just to learn more about outer space. As I got older, I slowly started to lose interest in outer space, and I always thought that it was because I was exploring new things and it was just another interest that did not age well with time. However, now looking back with a more worldly and mature perspective, I realize that my sudden disinterest in the thing that made my heart skip several beats even when I was simply thinking about it, was caused by not seeing people who looked like me portrayed in the media. Lupita once said “Until I saw people who looked like me, I was not so sure [being an actress] was a possibility. My exact feeling as a kid but her actress is my Aerospace Engineer. When I started to notice that nearly all Aerospace engineers that I saw growing up did not look like me, this negatively impacted my self-esteem and self-worth making me feel inferior because of how I looked. For years, I look at life and my future with implicit bias, I would always limit my self-expectations and to fit what I thought was expected of me in the eyes of society.

However, with new experiences and surrounding myself with people who challenged my perspective, I slowly started to realize that I was so much more than my skin color. My newfound perspective evoked some burning questions that I needed to answer in order to give my childhood dreams a fair chance. I have always wondered what my life would be like if I was exposed to Aerospace Engineers who looked like me hence my research question “How has lack of representation for people of color contributed to the racial and gender gap within the STEM fields?” Other than wanting to know what role proper representation would play in bridging the racial and gender gap within the STEM fields. I also would like to know what contributed to the racial and gender gap within the STEM fields and what we as people of color and the government can do to ensure that everyone who wishes to enter any STEM field is provided with equal opportunities and has proper representation. Moreover, I am not opposed to finding a perspective or information that completely goes against what I expect to find during my research. Finding opposing information would not only make me more intrigued but it would also put things into perspective for me. Finding the root of the problem at hand is more important than proving a point. So, if opposing information leads to finding the truth and solving the problem, I will welcome it with open arms.

Riegle, Catherine, and Morton, Karisma “Gender Expectations: Examining How Peers Shape Female Students’ Intent to Pursue STEM Fields” | Front. Psychol., 15 March 2017 |  https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00329

We as humans use the success of others who look like us as a mirror that reflects how successful we ourselves can be. So, if we do not see people who look like us achieving the things we want to accomplish, we feel as though that somehow reflects the possibilities our future holds and the ability to achieve our dreams outside of societal norms, ultimately deeming success pass what we have experienced and seen impossible. Catherine Riegle is a sociology professor at the University of Texas whose research is focused on the educational inequalities that stem from the complex intersection between gender and race/ethnicity. Karisma Morton is an Assistant professor of Mathematics Education also at the University of Texas whose research explores the inequalities people of color faces in mathematics education while specifically examining the roles gender and race/ethnicity, as well as their intersection, plays in said inequalities. The article “Gender Expectations: Examining How Peers Shape Female Students’ Intent to Pursue STEM Fields” builds on prior psychological and sociological research that examines the environmental effects that shape the gendered outcomes in STEM Fields. This study explores the negative and positive impact exclusionary and inclusionary messages from peers have on adolescent girls. A controlled experiment was used to directly determine the effects biased in-class interactions have on adolescent girls who are interested in science and engineering and how those biases affect their decision to pursue a career that aligns with their interests. “Specifically, utilizing longitudinal data from a diverse sample of adolescent youth, analyses examine how the presence of biased male peers, as well as confident female peers, shape girls’ subsequent intentions to pursue different STEM fields, focusing specifically on intentions to pursue the male-dominated fields of computer science and engineering, as well as more gender equitable fields.” Environmental effects play a significant role in adolescent girls’ lives as it directly influences whether they decide to further pursue an education in science or engineering or not. Upon further study of the gender expectations of females when it comes to choosing a gender-appropriate career revealed that “Research reveals that educational and occupational aspirations began to crystallize around early adolescence, coinciding with the increasing saliency of gender identity and gender roles in young people’s lives. As they actively contemplate their possible futures, young people are subject to a multitude of messages from those around them regarding what is appropriate and expected for their gender.” In other words, “Put simply, in the locations where girls and young women conduct their daily lives, they encounter a host of experiences and interactions with others who expect them to think and behave in ways that are consistent with prevailing societal gender norms and stereotypes. Yet at the same time, local environments offer the potential for the disruption of inequality and the creation of alternative constructions of gender. For example, if they are populated by individuals who do not endorse traditional norms and beliefs, local contexts can create opportunities for interactions and experiences that push back against larger social norms and paradigms.” Adolescent girls are most likely to lean towards a path that is more gender accepting than to follow their passion and pursue a career that disagrees with their traditional norms and beliefs. The study concluded that “Exposure to a higher percentage of 8th grade male peers in the classroom who endorsed explicit gender/STEM stereotypes significantly and negatively predicted girls’ later intentions to pursue a computer science/engineering (CS/E) major. Yet results also reveal that exposure to a higher percentage of confident female peers in the science classroom positively predicted such intentions.” In an environment where young girls are stereotyped for their interest in science and engineering, they tend to shy off and choose a career that is gender appropriate in the eyes of society. However, when young girls are placed in an environment where their interests are supported, they tend to pursue the career that they want.

Gender norms and societal expectations are major influences that affect our career choice. Thinking that my curiosity in outer space and dreams of becoming an Aerospace engineer was just something I grew out of was very childish if me. Reflecting on my middle school days, I have realized now that the classroom was never really a place where I could truly express myself. I have always been fond of science and engineering but in the class, I would often shy off and let the boy lead the discussion because of the societal norms that I blindly followed. The article states “Research reveals that educational and occupational aspirations began to crystallize around early adolescence, coinciding with the increasing saliency of gender identity and gender roles in young people’s lives. As they actively contemplate their possible futures, young people are subject to a multitude of messages from those around them regarding what is appropriate and expected for their gender.” Growing up I did not see anyone who looked like me both as a female and an African American represented as Aerospace Engineers. I would usually see white men and my young and gullible self, thought that it was a job only for men since that was what I was exposed to in most movies, books, and photos. Kids are most like to lean toward gender-safe careers because of societal norms and fear of being an outcast. On top of lack of proper representation, gender expectations were another reason my interest in Aerospace Engineering subsided. Gender expectations and societal norms influence our lives in many ways, some we are not aware of.

Overall, the article was very direct and highly informative. The authors articulate their ideas well and the points they were trying to convey to their audience were clear. The ideas of exclusionary and inclusionary messages highlighted the impact that inclusive environments can have on a child’s future career. The purpose of the article is to shine a light on the effects of lack of representation, gender expectations, and exclusive environment can have on a child and their future. In my opinion, the article and its information are very credible since the authors are experts in the field that the article focuses on.

“Yet at the same time, it is possible that some local contexts serve to disrupt these larger gender stereotypes. In this vein, some psychological research has recently moved to empirically examine the power of peers and role models to counter-act stereotypes and provide alternative depictions of females’ strength and belonging in STEM fields.”

“While research in this area has called critical attention to how proximate exposure to bias and stereotypes can negatively impact females’ STEM-related outcomes, nevertheless it is important to point out the results of such experiments may not necessarily translate outside these highly controlled settings.”

“For example, if they are populated by individuals who do not endorse traditional norms and beliefs, local contexts can create opportunities for interactions and experiences that push back against larger social norms and paradigms.”

“Gender theorists and scholars argue that gender is a social construction, one that is created and reinforced across various levels, including the macro-level of institutions as well as the micro-level of the local environments that individuals inhabit”

Dutra, Prasha. “Why do so many women leave their careers in STEM?” | TEDxWilsonPark | TEDx Talks, YouTube 21 October 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA08vfoZAJY

Prasha Dutra a TEDx speaker and award-winning podcaster advocates for gender equality in STEM. She uses her platform to bring awareness to the dire need for gender diversity in STEM while not just simply highlighting the lack of diversity but providing long last solution that could solve the gender gap in STEM in years to come. In her speech “Why do so many women leave their career in STEM?” Dutra opens with the question “How do we get more girls in STEM?” she then states, “IF you search girls in STEM on Google, you’ll get 450 million hits, and this clearly shows our obsession with getting more girls in STEM.” It is a well-known fact that White, Asian, and Indian males dominate STEM. Dutra states “Currently, only 28 percent of women contribute to the workforce in the U.S.” So, getting more girls in STEM would be a fast and efficient way to diversify the workforce in terms of gender. One would think that this is a definite way to bridge the gender gap that has been widening over the years in STEM. However, the dire for more women in STEM is at an all-time high since more women are leaving their STEM careers after Five years. Dutra describes the gender diversity in the STEM workforce as a “leaking bucket” since “forty% of women are leaving STEM jobs in just five years of starting.” So now getting more girls into STEM is not our only problem. We now must figure out what is causing the few women we have in STEM careers to leave just after five years of starting. Also, how do we prevent the women who already have STEM careers from leaving? Representation does not always have to come from outside the home or one’s community. Having supportive people around you can influence one’s ability to look at their future self and decide what is possible from their perspective. Dutra states “If us women want to succeed in STEM the secret is to find relatable role models.” It is one thing to strive for the best but setting unachievable goals with little time to achieve set goals only sets you up for failure. Moreover, Dutra shared her personal experience while working as a Mechanical Engineer for a manufacturing company. After working three to four years in her STEM career she felt lost as though she had accomplished as there was to accomplish for a female in STEM. Much like many other females in STEM, Dutra saw no future for herself due to  lack of proper representation. Dutra shares one of the reasons she decided to continue her STEM career. She states “By diversifying the pool of role models for myself, I was able to find a solid reason to stay in STEM… If us women want to succeed in STEM, we also need to look at the 28% of women who have stayed in these professions, understand why they have stayed and how they define success.” Finding someone to who you can relate on a personal and professional level is the best way to choose a role model. She ended her speech with a message to her audience on how to choose perfect role models in STEM. Dutra states, “All you need to do is qualify potential role models and people in your existing circles based on three simple criteria.” Step one “Connect with women who are just two or three steps ahead of you” She then states, “One of the biggest mistakes people make while looking for role models is that they directly look up to the CEOs and it can feel unrelatable and overwhelming.” Observing the journeys of women in STEM who are just a few steps ahead of you will help you find the motivation that will keep you in your STEM career and give you a sense of belonging in your career. Step two is “Search for the struggles. This is where the magic happens people who share the same struggles as us can really show us what is possible beyond those struggles, and they can give us real insight on how to overcome them.” A common struggle for women in STEM is how to navigate the STEM Field. Sharing struggles is a hands-on way to motivate women in STEM who are currently facing the same problems as it gives them some insight on how to overcome said struggles despite their personal and educational achievements. By sharing common struggles women in STEM can not only face but overcome adversity.  Step three “Focus on the details. What kills the search for a perfect role model is trying to find someone in your profession or your industry. The real trick is to break those roles and look beyond, look for the commonalities creatively. It is all in the details but what matters is what detail you focus on.” An important part of finding a suitable role model is to find someone who you connect with not only on a professional level but also on a personal level. Finding someone to connect with outside of work who shares your interest creates a special bond that could help you stay motivated and driven. Dutra’s steps on how to choose a perfect role model will not only influence young girls to pursue a career in STEM but also serve as motivation to the women who are currently in STEM careers to continue to pursue their intended careers while climbing the ladder of success. This leads to a more gender-diverse workforce in STEM.

Prior to my research, I know that there was an impending need for gender diversity in STEM which my simple solution was to get more girls interested in STEM but seeing that 40% of women are leaving their STEM careers just after five years, requires a completely new solution. So, getting more girls in STEM while the few women we currently have in STEM careers are leaving widens the gender gap in STEM even more hence Dutra’s “leaking bucket” analogy. Now we must not only figure out the declining cause of women leaving their STEM careers but how to solve said problem. I strongly agree with Dutra’s ideas on how to prevent women in STEM from leaving their jobs. Dutra’s solution is to find suitable role models, she states, “If us women want to succeed in STEM the secret is to find relatable role models.” Most often when finding role models, we immediately look up to the boss which can be very overwhelming and depressing since as humans our innate instinct is to be the best and this is done by comparing ourselves to others. As we compare ourselves to those who are greatly ahead of us does not only make our accomplishments seem inferior but also leads to self-doubts. Do not get me wrong, looking up to someone who is a CEO urges us to work hard and strive for the best but when faced with struggles that keep knocking you down, seeing others succeed while you are not can be unmotivating. Finding the perfect role model does not always require a professional relationship but it does need a personal one. Where you can share your doubts, struggles, hopes, and dreams in a safe space with someone who is just a few steps ahead of you. Connecting with someone who is just a few steps ahead of you is a good way to find motivation since they are more likely to be struggling with the same thing you are or just overcome the thing you are currently struggling with. Lastly, as more women continue to find inspiration within and outside of their profession, they are more inclined to continue to pursue their careers while moving up the success ladder.

Dutra’s speech was extremely relatable yet insightful. For her video to be under 10 minutes and yet so informative is impressive. The points made throughout her Ted Talk were very clear and well-articulated.  During her speech, she used relevant statistics and data to directly show her audience the dire need for gender diversity in STEM. Sharing various personal stories and struggles that she faced made her speech extremely relatable which builds a personal connection between Dutra and her intended audience. She did not merely state the struggles she faced but she provides strong solutions to said problems which could possibly serve as motivation to women who are currently going through something similar. However, in my opinion, Dutra herself and the information expressed in her speech is credible since she is an award-winning podcaster whose work is well known, and the information, she provided in her is easily backed by Google or a simple internet search. The purpose of Dutra’s speech is to not only shine light on the impending need for gender diversity in STEM but also to promote the effect of having suitable role models as it would lead to more women staying in their STEM careers.

“Find people who can show us no dream is too big but in a more relatable way, who can tell us that STEM does not define us, but we define STEM.”

“By diversifying the pool of role models for myself, I was able to find a solid reason to stay in STEM… If us women want to succeed in STEM, we also need to look at the 28% of women who have stayed in these professions, understand why they have stayed and how they define success.”

“One of the biggest mistakes people make while looking for role models is that they directly look up to the CEOs and it can feel unrelatable and overwhelming.”

Engineering Emergency: African Americans and Hispanics Lack Pathways to Engineering. Vital Signs: Reports on the Condition of STEM Learning in the U.S. (2014). In Change the Equation. Change the Equation.

In 2010, former President Obama launched the “Change the Equation” initiative to dramatically improve education in STEM as part of his “Educate to Innovate” campaign. Change the Equation is a nonprofit organization whose main purpose is to enhance and mobilize the business community which in return will improve the quality of STEM education in the U.S. The report “Engineering Emergency: African Americans and Hispanics Lack Pathways to Engineering” highlights some of the roots caused for racial inequality in STEM while providing adequate solutions through proper education and representation for people of color. The report begins by emphasizing how difficult it is for people of color to access quality education which is a vital foundation for a successful future. Change the Equation states, “Fifty years after Lyndon Johnson declared war on poverty, millions of Americans still lack opportunities to join the middle class. A quality education that leads to good jobs offers a reliable pathway to economic security, yet the first step on that pathway remains inaccessible to far too many Americans, especially Americans of color.” It is no secret that quality education sets one up not only for a successful professionally but also personally. However, quality education is still inaccessible for people of color which puts them at a disadvantage when it comes to securing a good job no matter their intended field and living a life poverty-free. While analyzing the salaries and job availability for people with engineering bachelor’s degrees, Change the Equation found that “Nowhere is this inequity more apparent than in engineering. On average, people with engineering bachelor’s degrees earn higher salaries than people with bachelor’s degrees in any other field, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics projects 690,000 engineering job openings by 2022. New CTEq analysis of U.S. Department of Education data finds that African Americans and Hispanics remain much less likely than white Americans to reap these rewards, presenting both a moral and an economic crisis. This disparity deepens income inequality in the U.S. while leaving untapped the creative potential of millions of Americans.” Knowing that people with engineering bachelor’s degrees earn higher salaries than people with bachelor’s degrees in other fields and have enormous amounts of job openings, one would think that race would not affect people who have successfully acquired a bachelor’s degree in engineering. But that is not the case people of color with engineering bachelor’s degrees are less likely to get a job with a good salary or even one within their intended engineering field. Moreover, the Change the Equation initiative does not only highlight the inequalities people of color face throughout their educational and professional life. The report states, “We cannot address these inequities through college programs alone. Instead, we must strengthen the pipeline to engineering and other STEM fields in our elementary and secondary schools by setting high academic expectations for all students while greatly expanding minorities’ access to advanced STEM learning opportunities.” College is not the only way to bridge the racial gap within the STEM education system. A way to close the racial gap is by setting high academic standards and expectations for all students and providing access to advance STEM learning opportunities for people of color throughout elementary and secondary schools. Change the Equation examines the percentage of people of color who acquired engineering degrees and certificates. The report states, “African Americans and Hispanics comprise a third of the college-aged population, yet together they earn less than 16 percent of all engineering degrees and certificates. Though their college-aged population has grown since 2001, their share of degrees and certificates remained mostly flat.”  So now getting more people of color in STEM but also providing sufficient educational resources for them to obtain a college degree in their engineering field.

Providing minorities and people of color with sufficient educational resources to fund their engineering career path is a sure way to racially diversify STEM.  Creating equal educational opportunities for people of color is one thing but getting them interested and motivated to excel in a STEM Field is another thing. So, I agree with the solution “we must strengthen the pipeline to engineering and other STEM fields in our elementary and secondary schools by setting high academic expectations for all students while greatly expanding minorities’ access to advanced STEM learning opportunities.” Providing educational opportunities where people of color excel will motivate them to continue their STEM career path to the college level and beyond thus bridging the racial gap in STEM.

The information provided by the Change the Equation is very insightful and direct. The report highlighted the inequalities people of color face in the educational system. The use of data and statistics made the report more credible. The purpose of the report is not only to shine light on the dire need for racial equality in STEM but also to promote the positive effects of equal educational opportunities for minorities and people of color as it would lead to the continuous closing or shrinking of the racial gap in STEM. The Change the Equation organization is very credible since it was launched by a former President and the work they have done for minorities and people of color is easily accessible via a simple Google search.

“A quality education that leads to good jobs offers a reliable pathway to economic security, yet the first step on that pathway remains inaccessible to far too many Americans, especially Americans of color.”

“Department of Education data finds that African Americans and Hispanics remain much less likely than white Americans to reap these rewards, presenting both a moral and an economic crisis. This disparity deepens income inequality in the U.S. while leaving untapped the creative potential of millions of Americans.”

“We cannot address these inequities through college programs alone. Instead, we must strengthen the pipeline to engineering and other STEM fields in our elementary and secondary schools by setting high academic expectations for all students while greatly expanding minorities’ access to advanced STEM learning opportunities.”

Representation affects our perspectives and the ability to envision our future selves in said perspective. So, if we are not properly represented, we do not see ourselves achieving much since there are not lots of people who look like us accomplishing the thing we hope to achieve.  My research proved to be very perceptive and worthwhile, I learned so much new information and expanded on the ideas I had prior. While researching the effects lack of representation has on the racial and gender gap within STEM, I found that young girls lose interest in STEM from as early as grade school. In classrooms, young girls are more likely to be excluded from STEM activities because is do not align with their gender role in the eyes of society. As a result, young girls lose their initial interest in STEM then as they enter the workforce, they are inclined to choose a more gender-appropriate job within their gender expectations. However, when young girls are placed in an environment that includes them, they are more likely to choose a career that aligns with their initial STEM interests. Second, I found that getting more girls into STEM is not the only way to bridge the gender gap in STEM but also getting the women who currently have STEM careers to stay and excel in said careers. Lastly, I found that in order to bridge the racial gap within STEM we need to create equal educational opportunities for minorities and people of color from elementary to secondary schools while focusing on expanding minorities’ access to advanced STEM learning opportunities. Something that surprised me during my research was that 40% of women are leaving their STEM careers just after five years. Prior to my research I know there was a major gender gap in STEM and my solution to said problems was to get more girls in STEM so they can fill the gap but that is not the case. Since more girls are entering STEM more women who currently have STEM careers are leaving at a rapid rate which does nothing for the gender gap.

The information I acquired during my research is important because it not only highlights the impending need for gender and racial equality in STEM but also provides some solutions to solve said inequalities. These solutions will not only help me but other African Americans and females or both to find the motivation they always help to pursue their STEM careers. Said solutions will also benefit generations to come inspiring them to follow their STEM interest while ignoring gender norms which will eventually complete closing the racial and gender gap in STEM. My intended audience is younger girls, teenagers, and college students who are minorities or people of color age ranging anywhere from 14-25. As I think they would be the ones to benefit from the information provided since they are the ones who could bridge the racial and gender gap in STEM to make the workforce more diverse.

Final Portfolio:

Unit 1: Education Narrative Revised

I made small revisions to my unit 1 assignment. It was mostly just following my teacher’s comments and fixing grammar. Things like fixing incorrect words and punctuation. I also added a title and added a heading to my essay. I think my education narrative was pretty good, or at least on the right track seeing as how all my feedback was grammatical errors. I incorporated the feedback because fixing the grammar would just make it better than it already was.

Unit 1 Assignment:

Lack-Luster Education

It’s the third grade and we are preparing for the state tests. There are students surrounding me in almost every direction, all of them with notebooks and pencils out. The teacher is going over the structure of the state test and what things we should work on first. I wasn’t a big fan of the state test at the time, to the point where even the smallest things would trigger me. The smell of coffee in the room triggered me, but it didn’t bother me as much since the smell did remind me of pancakes for some reason. The lights on the ceiling that would occasionally flicker added more fuel. My desk that would screech across the floor when I moved even slightly added even more water to an already filled glass. Having the sun in my eyes just made things even worse. All these different things bothered me little by little, but in the end, the thing that caused it all was the State Test. The State Test seemed like the only thing on everyone’s mind, even the teacher’s. Everything we learned was just thrown out the window just for this one test. Even the other subjects like science and social studies were paused in favor of state test prep. Seeing as science was my favorite subject at the time, that really pissed me off.

The enjoyment of my school life diminished as school shifted its focus to the State Test. All of the fun activities that we used to do were replaced with concentrated studying on English and Math in order to improve our chances of scoring high. Now that I think about it, this may be the start of my disinterest in English. But above all else, we studied hard on how to take the test. I never enjoyed learning how to take a test. I would rather just learn about the material on it. It’s not like I don’t get it. Test scores are important for schools, but it’s a different story if you are more concerned with that than the student’s education itself. Being forced to take countless practice tests while reading and writing everyday fueled my hate for the English subject. I will never forget the stress I felt while preparing for the state tests, because that same stress is something that stuck with me throughout my school life. I know all schools don’t do this, but if it is a school that does, then you are going to burn out your students faster than the tests will, especially at a young age. If you want better test scores, then actually teach the children subjects.

It’s like these schools don’t take the students into consideration. Not everything should be about having good test scores to make yourself look better. I’ve even heard that some schools purposefully encourage people to apply just to reject them and make their acceptance rate lower so people can think they are a “hard to get into” school. At this point students just seem like tools to better the school instead of schools being an important place to better the students. I can still remember how big the celebration was when my elementary school became a Blue Ribbon school. That is a big achievement, but at the cost of so much stress to students at a young age and a lack of proper education since some of it was cut off in order to make progress on test scores. I also remember how things were like after the state test. Learning felt so lackluster, like the main story was completed so the rest of it is just filler. I was so bored of just sitting there, listening to unenthusiastic teachers who don’t even try to appeal to the students anymore. That time of my life was truly unfortunate. It was one of my worst experiences at my young age, and a big demotivation for me.

The whole idea of a test is to evaluate the student, to see what they know and what they’ve learned. But instead of getting a proper evaluation, it felt more like we were getting vague answers to the test, like we had just enough knowledge to get the best scores. If I get a good score on a test without actually learning anything then what is the point? I’m basically just cheating at that point. It won’t even feel like I progressed in school, and worse, I won’t actually know what progress I’ve made in my education. What really sucked about it was that my elementary school had a great building that looked like a great place to learn. It was a brightly colored building with great classrooms, a clean bathroom, working water fountains, and a great atmosphere overall, but it’s wasted on that school. I feel like most of my learning was outside of school or in my extracurriculars. My middle school wasn’t a good one either, but I feel like I learned way more in that school, like they wanted us to know as much as possible, but in its own way that wasn’t fun either. That one felt more like they were trying to cram all the information down my throat before I left the school and if I didn’t understand it then there was something wrong with me. But some of the teachers did realize that they were going too fast and did slow down for us, so that was kinda nice. The test scores weren’t the best or anything but it felt like I came out knowing more of what I should have. That school definitely had more energy than my elementary school, even if it didn’t have as much of a budget.

I’m not one to go on a tangent like this about school, but I never really had fun with school after the early stages. It just felt boring having to read a lot of boring stories or do homework when I could be doing something much more enjoyable, especially when I knew I would have to come into an unenthusiastic session of class the next day. That mindset turned me into a not ok student. But I believe things could have been different if I had a different learning experience. I’ve had classes that were fun, where we did fun activities or had really fun teachers. It made me want to participate, made me want to interact more so I could have more fun. But most of my learning experience seems to be the same old uninterested teachers either working for the money or just trying to make the school look better. If only things were different, I could be enjoying school and learning way more than I am now. I wouldn’t have this feeling of worry or this growing disinterest for anything related to school. My perspective on education could’ve been a complete 180, and that seems to interest me more than school.

Unit 2: Reflective Annotated Bibliography Revised

My unit 2 needed a lot more revisions than my unit 1. I received a lot of feedback about citation errors. I still have a way to go when it comes to proper citation. I went ahead and incorporated those changes because incorrect citations can actually be a big deal. I also received feedback about small grammar and spelling issues, so I incorporated those because they didn’t hurt to fix. The last feedback I received was feedback about my source entries. When talking about my course entries, I failed to talk about why those authors chose the genre that they did. This was an assignment that was linked to unit 3 which was all about genre, so I thought it was important to incorporate that feedback as it would make it easier to understand the reasons for choosing a genre in unit 3.

Unit 2 Assignment:

Multiplayer Games Create Connections other than Wi-Fi

Video games are one of the cornerstones of our world. No matter where you are, video games will most likely follow. One of the most common forms of video games are multiplayer games. Multiplayer is an extremely popular genre in the world of games. Being able to play against other people, whether in person or online, and being able to hone your skills or make new friendships has always been something that gamers were fond of. In fact, multiplayer games are so popular that there are even people that find ways to make single player games into multiplayer ones. I myself am very fond of multiplayer games too as they gave me a new source of enjoyment and motivation. These games act as liaisons that allow players to connect to each other, and it is through those connections that friendships and communities are born. Since so many connections can be made through these games, is it possible that these games benefit our social skills?

 I am a fighting game player. I absolutely love fighting games. I like to be competitive, improve my skills to try and be the best, though I am always miles away from that goal. Every time I play a fighting game and win, I just can’t help but think “I have gotten a little bit better at the game” or “I have improved once again.” It makes me feel like all my time practicing has been worthwhile, like a mini confidence booster. Of course, fighting games aren’t the only games I play, but they definitely have a special place in my heart for how much they’ve helped me grow. I have made an abundance of connections through fighting games. Most of them haven’t been long term, but even just those small connections have made an impact on me. Improving my skills, meeting new people, these fighting games have been a large part of my life, but they aren’t the only thing changing me. The people that I’ve met through these fighting games have brought about an even bigger change. I am undoubtedly an introvert. I don’t really talk to people nor do I try to talk to them. I like doing my own thing or just communicating with the small group of friends I have. But once I experienced the joy of meeting people with the same strong interest and thirst to improve in fighting games, I started to open up. I started seeking connections, looking for more people who I can talk to, people who I can fight against in these games and learn from. Before I realized it, I started talking to people outside of the games, hoping they would also be interested in it, but even if they weren’t, there were some that I still talk to even now. I have improved as a person by leaps and bounds, and it’s all thanks to the connections I’ve made with people through these games that we all had interests in.

Though there was growth, it was never conscious. I never really sat down and thought “I’ve really improved socially.” I never realized how much I had grown until now, and with that realization came a big question, “If I could grow this much, how much have the people I’ve been talking to grown? How much have my friends grown? How much has every gamer grown?” But trying to figure that out would definitely take too long, so I thought of a simpler question to answer, “What benefits do these games have on our social skills?” It’s a small question, only 10 words, but it isn’t an easy one to answer, at least not without research. I expect to find a lot of social benefits when it comes to these games in my research. All I ever hear when it comes to masterpieces is about how much they have changed people’s lives, or the emotions that it brought out in people. I hope there are many things to gain from these games, but if the negatives tend to out way the positives then I might be a little disheartened, but I wouldn’t give up since they have personally changed me.

Fishman, Andrew. “Video Games are Social Spaces: How Video Games Help People Connect.” JCFS Chicago. https://www.jcfs.org/response/blog/video-games-are-social-spaces-how-video-games-help-people-connect

Andrew Fishman is a social worker who also runs a support group called “Level Up: A Group for Gamers.” This support group for teen gamers who converse with other teen gamers about how video games have impacted their lives. Fishman is also a firm believer that video games can be used to improve social skills. Fishman states, “Online video games can allow players to talk to others and make friends at their current ability level even when they are not emotionally or physically able to leave their homes. This can help build the skills and confidence necessary to try it in-person.” Though they aren’t communicating face to face, video games still give children the opportunity to communicate with other people. This allows them to improve their communication skills and gain confidence from talking to others. Fishman even does research of his own using past studies and even his own support group to help support this. He uses the results of two researchers’ studies to talk about the types of messages players talk send to each other, being socio-emotional messages and task-oriented messages. He also goes over how video games create safe places for vulnerable people to communicate with each other. His research supported the fact that children playing video games yields more positive results than negative, as they are able to communicate with others even when they aren’t physically next to each other.

This article is exactly what I was looking for. It really shows the positivity spread by video games. Through communication, children are able to gain skills and confidence needed to converse and interact with people in person. This is something I heavily agree with and something I want to support as a gamer. I am introverted. I know the feeling of not being able to talk to others. The nervousness, the awkwardness, I know all of it. These games, that allow you to interact with anonymous people, though it does sound dangerous saying it like that, really lets you get into deep conversations about the things you love. These games are like a key for me and many others. They allow me to interact with people about these games that we players are so fond of. Now that I have found people with common ground, I am able to make more friends than I ever thought I would. Over 70% of the friends I have made have been made through some kind of video game connection. These games have even led me to communities where I was able to make even more friends. 

Andrew Fishman, as a person who runs a group for young gamers to converse with each other, knows way more about these benefits than I do. The social group that he runs is something I would love to experience and is something I hope many others can experience. His social group is a perfect place to interact with other people and grow your social skills. The easy part is that you all will have something in common, that being your interest and love of video games. I think he chose to write an article because it was the best way to convey his research for him. Articles are also one of the biggest sources of information. He wanted to spread the word that gamers conversing among themselves is a good thing and that he has a social group exactly for it if you want to get started.

McGonigal, Jane. “SuperBetter-Or How to Turn Recovery Into a Multiplayer Experience.” Reality is Broken : Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change The World. https://hci.stanford.edu/courses/cs047n/readings/Reality_is_Broken.pdf

Jane McGonigal is a world-renowned game designer and author. She advocates using technology to channel positivity into the world. Jane’s Graphic Novel, “Reality is Broken,” is about how video games are beneficial to people and how they help us improve ourselves. She uses psychology and sociology to describe how video game designers know what makes us as gamers happy and how they incorporate it into their work to create the great games that we all play today. The stories on how these games are made and the different impacts that they have had on people are intriguing. In one of the stories, she talks about how she got a concussion while writing her book and experienced moods of depression during her recovery because there was no progress and she couldn’t do anything that would make her strain her brain. But she decided to stay optimistic and try to get better. While she was reading and practicing three strategies to get better, she thought “these three strategies sound exactly like what you do when you’re playing a good multiplayer game.”(McGonigal 135) That later inspired her to create the game “SuperBetter”, a game that turns your recovery into a multiplayer game. This game was a game that was set on helping people in recovery improve faster, or at least feel better about themselves. McGonigal herself couldn’t tell when there it was actually improving her condition, but she did state this, “When my allies joined the game, I finally felt like they really understood what I was going through, and I never felt quite so lost in the fog again.”(McGonigal 141) She was able to make a connection and feel better about herself during the recovery that put her mood down. She then later published the rules on her blog and gave it the title “SuperBetter.” She used the idea of entering an alternate reality and turned it into a multiplayer game that can help people during recovery.

This book was especially inspiring. This is something I didn’t expect to come across while researching. I was mostly thinking of competitive games when it came to interactions, but there can also be interactions made with games made to help people. McGonigal’s game “SuperBetter” not only aimed to help you get through your recovery but also allowed you to gain a connection to people who are also going through what you are going through. I am actually stunned at how I have never seen this. No matter what multiplayer games you play, they really allow you to connect to someone who is similar to you in a sense, whether it be your interests, or your situations. Social connections themselves cna be a recovery of sorts and help you in a bad situation.

I never really thought that a Graphic Novel could give me information that I not only needed to support my claim, but just never knew I was curious about until I fulfilled my curiosity. I believe McGonigal chose a Graphic Novel because she wanted to tell a story. She wanted to tell a story about her life and her reasons for making the games she did. It just goes to show how many genres are out there that have the type of information you are looking for. McGonigal is a great writer and her work not only promotes her positivity but also helps people learn to spread that positivity. The multiplayer games that she makes really help promote the fact that the social interactions you achieve through games are beneficial, especially in her case.

 Martinez, Esteban, director. “FGC: Rise of the Fighting Game Community.” Youtube, uploaded by Hold Back to Block, 5 Jul. 2016, https://youtu.be/AkdCdrzj7Ik

The Fighting Game Community, also known as the FGC, is one of the biggest gaming communities ever, with fighting game enthusiasts joining from all over the world. FGC: Rise of the Fighting Game Community is a documentary that dives into the competitive scene of fighting games and the motivation and feelings of the players that make up that competitive scene. These are fighting game players that are enthusiastic about fighting games, whether it is players that spend their time creating and honing techniques in practice mode or players that work hard to get better and compete in tournaments. These players connect with each other, whether it be through tournament matches, practice, or just running into each other while attending an event for their specific fighting game. These gatherings show the true connection and interactions between fighting game players. This documentary introduces people from all over the FGC, from fighting game players like Lord Knight to commentators like James Chen to even game developers like Seth Killian. Speaking of Seth Killian, he is someone who has years of experience with fighting games. He’s honed his skills, he’s seen the best of the best fight it out in tournaments, he’s someone who has made a lot of connections through fighting games. As someone who has experienced so much with this community, he knows just how many people you can meet through games, and a great place in the past to meet those people were arcades. Arcades are a legacy for fighting games. They are what would be written in textbooks if video games had those. When it came to early gaming, everyone would grab their quarters and run to arcades. When it came to fighting games in arcades, that was the place to be. Some of the best fighting game players grew up and got better through arcades. Arcades were so impactful that companies made controllers for current generation consoles based off of arcade stick layouts, and some players couldn;t play fighting games unless it was with those controllers. Killian, who grew up with arcades, stated that “arcades were a perfect illustration of that because a lot of those people became friends, a lot of them became enemies, but  it also engendered a certain kind of respect and a certain kind of attitude because you were sharing a physical space with them.”(Killian 14:47-14:59). Arcades were the first form of competitive play in fighting games. Players had to sit right next to each other and spend money in order to play against each other. They would spend more money and rematch over and over, and in that was a connection slowly being nurtured.

This documentary was a fantastic watch. As a fighting game player, I really loved seeing a deeper look into the competitive scene, seeing the thought process of players, or how players were like during the early days of fighting games. Watching this also made me think about just how big my connection grew thanks to fighting games. These games have introduced me to friends that I will never forget, and to even more fighting games that would later become some of my favorite games of all time. I’ve grown even fonder of fighting games and have gained an even greater motivation to get better at them. The world that these pros are experiencing, the world of fighting games tournaments and true competition is something I want to experience for myself. I just know that if I can reach there, I’ll gain even more connections and skill.

The director for this documentary, Esteban Martinez, filmed this beautifully. The many people he got in contact with to film this and the many events that he went to and showed in the documentary really amazed me. Maybe these were the connections he gained through fighting games. Either way, his work on this film is definitely greatly appreciated by not only me, but many of the fighting gamers that have seen his work. I think he chose to make a documentary because he wanted people to see the fighting game community. He wanted to show what these gamers look like, what the games they play look like, what tournament venues look like. What is a video game without video? I also believe making a documentary was the best choice to get his message out.

Multiplayer games are a very common thing so you would think that they don’t make that much of a social impact on people, but they make much more of an impact than I had originally thought. A lot of children play games at an early age, and a large group of them play multiplayer games. Thinking back on that, we interact with a lot of people early on in our lives, and the way we see those people interact with others or the way we interact with them ourselves is something that heavily shapes us. Something that did surprise me is the fact that gamers have a lot more options of interaction than I had originally thought. From face to face encounters in arcades to forums and online messaging systems provided by our gaming services, there are many ways to meet new people and interact with already established friends in the gaming world. We, as gamers, have opportunities to improve our social skills almost everywhere. I honestly find it crazy how I’ve never seen this before until now, and I’ve been using these services without any thought to it at all.

Learning all these things is beneficial not just to me, but to gamers everywhere. It is not an understatement to say that games are a big part of human culture, so if these games had a negative impact on us, then that would mean a loss for humanity. Of course there could be some negative impacts when it comes to interacting with people who rage in video games or just flat out want to spread negativity in a community, but the benefits and opportunities for growth outway that. You don’t even need to be a gamer to be honest. If you are someone that just wants to improve your social skills or wants to meet new people, multiplayer games are a way to open a gate to new people. And the best part is that these games branch far from just meeting people in game. These connections can lead you to youtubers, people to follow and interact with on twitter or other social media, discord servers filled with people to talk to and learn from, and much more. For all the gamers that enjoy competitive play or just playing fun games with other people, this is your chance to make new connections and not only grow as gamers, but as people. To all those looking for ways to improve themselves socially, give games a try. Not only can you meet new people, but you can find new interests, hobbies, and more ways to have fun.

This is how I feel about the project so far:

This was a really fun project. Doing the research, finding new information, all of it was very enjoyable. Finding good sources was difficult though, especially since they had to be different genres. I am happy that there were so many beneficial sources for my research and so many sources that promoted the benefits of video games. Seeing the negativity is something I expected but I expected to see a lot more. I saw almost nothing about the negativity of video games on people. It made me feel proud to be a gamer. I feel like I still need to work on my source entries though. I also need to work on my analysis. But for the most part this was a ten out of ten project.

Unit 3: Writing in a New Genre

We did not get the chance to revise our unit 3 assignments so all I can talk about is what I wish to revise if I had the chance. The only thing I would revise is the audio. When making the video, I noticed that the audio sounded really muffled. My skills in audio editing are very amateur, so the most I could do was clear it up a little. It would be best to re-record with better settings and a better environment. Of course, I would have to edit the video to match the new audio so it would probably take a while, but it would be worth it.

Unit 3 Assignment: https://youtu.be/tAcC-WK5Uzg

Artist Statement

I have always been a gamer. I have always been an introvert. Communicating with people was never my strong suit. Even friends I have now are people who took the initiative to talk to me first. Those friends then introduced me to more people, but the one thing we had in common at the time was that we were all gamers. But my in-person friends aren’t the only friends I have. I have also made several anonymous online friends, which sounds bad out of context but they were just people who are friends on gaming platforms that I contact in-case I want to fight them or need an extra teammate. So the thought came to me. These gaming platforms have built-in friend systems, some of the mobile games I play also have friend systems, plus all of my friends are gamers. These games are helping me make friends, so shouldn’t we all be making friends? It is literally so easy. Then another thought came to my mind, maybe my friends aren’t growing just because of these platforms. It is like I slowly got better at talking to people and connecting with others. Could these games be giving me the opportunity to improve my social skills? And so became the beginning of my research.

My purpose for doing this research and making this project was to spread the word. I wanted to let gamers know that the friend system they so commonly use is actually a great tool that can help them create even more friends in real life. All these chats that you have with players are really beneficial to you and your social skills. Making friends is easy when you have something to easily connect with them. Plus having such easy access can motivate them to try and make more friends. What better way to inform gamers about a simple, easy to access tool than with a simple, easy to access video. The best place for me to put my easy to access video is the most easy to access streaming service around, Youtube. Youtube is on the top 5 list for Gamer Resources. Gamers use Youtube a lot when searching for an answer in their games, so if I put my video on there, they are more likely to come across it. As for what the video itself is gonna be, it is going to be a short and sweet informative video. A short video that can get my point across is perfect for gamers since we switch from video to video a lot.

The genre has to be video, no questions asked. Something a gamer can watch while playing, something gamers don’t have to spend a lot of time on, and something they can still gain information from, these are the types of media gamers are looking for. That is why it has to be a video. A simple informative video is the best way for gamers to take in the information I want to provide them, and the best place for simple informative videos is none other than Youtube. When the video is right there at your fingertips, gamers are more likely to watch it. It just attracts them more knowing it’s something they don’t even have to focus on.

The process of making the video has to start with the script. This simple video is a voice over kind, so I need a script to base the video off of. The script don’t need to be too long or short, as long as it gets the point across it should be fine. I went over my R.A.B. and made a script out of it, taking parts that I want to talk about while removing things that I thought didn’t need to be in the video. From there I recorded the script, and re-recorded, and re-recorded. I’ve re-recorded the script so many times. From there I went into editing the recording, trying to make my voice sound smooth and clear. It didn’t turn out the way I hoped, but it still turned out pretty ok. Once I thought the script recording was okay for use, I started making an outline of the video. Using the script as a basis, I started to draw out what I wanted the video to generally look like in certain areas, and if I couldn’t draw it then I would write down a short description of what should be there. It was more like a storyboard than it was an outline. After that was complete came the hard part, the video editing. Grabbing a filling yet unnoticeable background, grabbing images and clips that I thought would be appropriate for that specific section, it was really tedious. I also had to go through and learn the tools and some tricks so I can get my video looking like the way I had it in my head. At the end of the day, it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it, but I think I got the video looking close to what my ideal vision looked like. It was definitely something I could be proud of.

I think the video turned out great. It wasn’t perfect but it was definitely good enough to suit my needs. I got down the general idea of a short, appealing video to attract gamers. If there is anything I wish I could have improved on a little bit more, it is definitely the mic. I didn’t have the best setup to make my voice as clear and smooth as possible, and my audio editing skills are worse than my video editing. It still turned out pretty decent but it is probably the weakest part of my video. This was definitely a difficult project to get done. My biggest problem, which I didn’t realize until the end, was rendering. I have learned that rendering speeds depend on how good your computer is, especially how good your Processor is, but I overestimated my laptop. With multiple crashes and a final render time of 4 hours, I managed to complete my project. So if there is something else I should improve on, it is getting a better laptop. Having something like this as a college project was really fun. This is the most creative a college project has been for me to date, and I really enjoyed working on this project. I really do hope that there will be more projects like this during my time in college.

Final Reflection:

This semester is one that I would consider to be a semester of growth for me. Throughout this semester, I have completed many writing assignments and read many pieces of text. Because of this I was able to grow as a writer and as a reader, but more importantly as a scholar. I have gained knowledge and learned lessons that I can apply not only to my other college courses, but to my life in general. 

When it comes to reading, I can’t really say I improved much. I was never really a reader in the past. I read things like comic books and the like, but I never read much literature. In previous English classes, they did have me read articles and essays in order to annotate and analyze them, but I never really read those seriously either. The most I would do is skim them or read the first couple paragraphs. Maybe it is because I never found anything they gave me interesting. But something I did learn about myself as a reader is that even if it isn’t interesting, when I seriously start reading something, I start doing something that I refer to as “mindless reading.” I read the text, but I am not focused on the words at all. It is like the text goes in one ear and leaves the other. I am reading it without retaining any information. Before I know it, I am halfway through the text. I end up having to reread the text in order to get the information I should have had. It is a really weird quirk that I should fix.

If there is anything that I think has improved in my reading, it is probably analysis and understanding. Things like “why did the writer choose this?” or “why did the writer add this here?” I started learning to read like a writer. This also allowed me to incorporate some of the writing techniques that other authors have used into my own writing to improve it. In a way, my growth as a reader is support for my growth as a writer. I don’t think it is a bad thing, but I just wish there was more to show for it.

I feel I have grown pretty well as a writer. This semester, I have completed a number of assignments. From narratives to bibliographies, I have done assignment after assignment, and through those assignments I feel that I have grown stronger as a writer. In the beginning of this semester, I had low self-esteem as a writer. I wrote a lot in my past English classes, but I never really felt any growth as a writer. I mostly just wrote for the sake of passing the class and never really looked twice. But this semester has changed my way of thinking about writing. I don’t think my writing has changed drastically or anything, but I think I’m now writing with more care and purpose put into my work. It not only improved my mentality about writing but also increased my self-esteem.

When it came to writing, I always tried to get it over with as soon as possible. I never had interesting topics in my previous english classes, so I quickly did my work and handed it in to get the grade. The moment I finished my draft, I would do a quick scan for spelling errors and hand it in. But this class has changed my whole perspective. The first draft isn’t meant to signal the finish line, but is meant to be the starting line. It’s meant to be the base of your ideas that you build your blocks off of. During class, we annotated “Maker’s Eye” by Donald Murray. It was about the process of revising your work and what writers had to go through to properly revise. I annotated one of the quotes that popped out to me. What I wrote was “I like this idea that the first draft is actually the starting line when it comes to writing. A lot of people, myself included, treat the first draft like we are already at the end.” This annotation describes what I learned as a writer, that the beginning of my work starts with the first draft. That is why it is called the first, because it is the first of many.

Another aspect that I came to think about differently is the revising process. I said before that the first draft is the base of the building blocks, well revision is how you build those blocks to get the most stable yet beautiful structure, and I only just realized this semester just how unstable my blocks have been in the past. When it came to revision in the past, all I ever did was spelling and grammatical errors. I never cared whether the writing was good or bad. Now, I have a whole new view. In order to see the good and bad of my writing, I need to be a stranger to it. I need to see it objectively, without love or hate toward my work. That way I can build my blocks off of the stable blocks and either support the unstable parts or completely break them down in order to support my other stable parts even more. In a way, this theory of blocks not only applies to revision, but my growth as a writer too. This class has added support to my unstable foundation and has now given me the capability to build a fantastic and strong structure. No wonder I don’t think my writing has changed much. Only my foundation has been stabilized. So what if my writing seems lack-luster now? It’s my responsibility to build the blocks and improve so my writing can truly shine.

I believe my biggest growth this semester is as a student. This class has constantly kept me on my toes with the work and has improved the way I see work and the way I do work. Being able to take things step by step, or getting my ideas out of the way and being able to revise my work and build off of it are great ways to get work done in an orderly fashion and also allows me to not stress over it. I am still making mistakes as a student, but I feel that I have made a big leap this semester. Now I just need to keep all of this to mind so I don’t lose all the progress I just made. This growth is not just growth as a student, but growth as a person, so losing it is bad, but there is still much more growing that I need to do.

I really learned a lot about myself as a student this semester. First off, this semester has confirmed one of my biggest curiosities, being whether I learned better in-person or online, and I am definitely an in-person learner. Comparing my online classes to my in-person, or even comparing last semester to this semester, I can clearly see the results of in-person compared to online learning. Being in a seat with other students around me and my objective right in front of my face is the perfect way for me to learn, no matter how much I don’t like school. I still tend to procrastinate, but it hase definitely greatly improved since my high school days. I still make occasional flaws, but I am starting to get my act together. Something else I learned is that the biggest factor when it comes to me doing assignments is my enthusiasm. I had a lot of really fun assignments this semester where I got to explore things I wanted to learn about or try. I don’t think any English class is ever going to let me make a Youtube video as an assignment. I thought it was really creative and even let me learn just how much changing genres can affect my writing. Plus I gained a new hobby of video editing. I have never done assignments this interesting, it made me want to do them. It was a change from the usual essay based on a topic the teacher gave us. Maybe more creativity is the key when it comes to how I want to learn. Put a twist on things so that it is always interesting.

This semester is one I will probably never forget, unless I hit the jackpot of semesters in the future. There have been many lessons that I have learned in this class that I have taken to heart and will probably use throughout my life. But this is only the beginning. The end of a semester is just the signal for an even bigger journey afterwards, so I hope I can improve on what I learned this semester while learning more in the semesters to come.