Based on the peer review feedback that you received, I would like you to open your essay introduction word processing file and choose to File > Save As and add the word “revised” after the name that you originally gave the essay introduction. Then, use your peer review feedback to revise your introduction into a stronger form. Save your new, revised introduction, and copy-and-paste it into a comment to this blog post before Monday’s class.
Begin thinking ahead to your supporting paragraphs. We will work on these during class on Monday, but there’s no reason why you can’t begin writing these over the weekend. Bring any brainstorming and writing to class on Monday.
From my future self to my present self,
I know that you are a very strong, healthy, physically fit, and a talented drafter/designer. In addition, you have questions about what our future will be after you are through with school. Moreover, you have concerns about whether you would find the right job. Present self; do not be too worried about what is forthcoming, for I am about to give you insight into our future. Now, it is the year 2020, and I am an architect and I am presently working for William Rawn Associates as a junior architect in suite 14 D, Freedom Tower, New York. This company is one of the bests Architectural Firms in New York. They offer great benefits, they are environmentally friendly and they are well organized. Also, I am working on some great projects, such as designing schools, hospitals, and some other great commercial buildings. It is really a pleasure to work here. In order for us to attain these achievements, there are three (3) thoughts you should give serious consideration to be successful. First thought: “Where you would like your office to be after you are through with school?” Second thought, “Types of projects you would like to be involve with in the future.” and final thought, “What your next drawing project will be like?”
On the first page of my story when my life first started, the future seemed dark with no glory. Being from a poor, small village in Dominican Republic, I thought my destiny was set until I learned that we create our own destiny. As Nelson Mandela once said “There is no passion to be found playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living”. In other words, we cannot stay in the same spot if we got the chance to move on. My name is Miguel Santos, a student graduated from the New York City College of Technology. Time goes fast and now I am working at a studio as a graphic designer in 2020. In this job, I work in a group creating layouts, designs, ideas and helping around as a visual communicator. I turned 24 years old this july but I still live with my mom and siblings in Manhattan. In this essay, I am making an argument to myself of how to change my current thoughts and actions in order to achieve and see the progress of what I want five years from now. In this argument, I am going to discuss how to manage my time, increase my skills as a designer, and actually how to maintain a stable life as an adult. These are the three major areas of my decisions that will be explain in the following essay.
My name is Shen. I am currently a League of Legend player for the Esport. This job is not as simple as it seen. For players, bringing entertainment and excitement to the audience is a must but our main goal is to win the World Final. The reason I said this job is not as simple as it seen is because players can get eliminated in any minutes and their hard working efforts will go waste. We have to practice constantly every day to improve ours skills in order for us to keep our current position. I’ve been living with my teammates ever since I joined the team two years ago. At this moment, I am going to tell myself from the past that What should I do in order to achieve what I have now. There are will be many obstacles in your path, but as long as you have ambitions and dedication, you will achieve your goal.You should focus on the things that can guide you to success, such as education, practices constantly, develop more skills, and most importantly is to have a positive mind all the time.
Ashley Perez
English
Revised
What do I want to tell myself five years from now? In five years I will be 26 years old. If we were living in some dimensional world where I could actually talk to my 25 year old self I would say I hope you are doing better than your past self. I would say you made a lot of mistakes in the past that you could make up for or hopefully already have. Also I would tell myself to strive to do better and not to doubt myself the way you did when you were younger. I would also say you should’ve followed your true pursuit and if you didn’t that you still have time to do considering I would only be 26 years old.
It’s year 2020, and I am about to turn 26 years old. I am a Police Officer here in NYC. I moved out of my mother’s house about two years ago and so much has changed. My first two years on the job was a challenge. Being a rookie and walking the beat is not the best part of the job, in fact its far from it. Everyone has eyes on you, and in a way you are looked down upon as people do look for you to make the mistakes most rookies make. In this letter I am going to be pointing out to myself from 5 years ago what I should change about myself or work towards in order to achieve all the plans I had more efficiently. There are going to be ways to prepare yourself for the future by prioritizing college, family and exercising more intensely. You may think you prioritize these topics enough already, but I challenge you to be more critical with yourself to prepare for what the future holds for you. It is only going to get more difficult before it gets any better for you, I encourage you not to let any detoured path you take disappoint you.
Dear Jennifer,
Right now, you are a full time student at City Tech and are working part time. I know it’s kind of hard trying to balance school, work, and your boyfriend, but don’t worry it will all be worth it in the end. You will eventually become a successfully licensed CPA and have your own business. Everyone goes through what you’re going through right now. In this letter I’ll show you what to focus on to achieve your goals. Right now, you need to concentrate on having a healthier lifestyle, filling your mind with positive and productive thoughts, and learning how to manage your time better. You will see how doing these three things will lead you into having a more positive and prosperous lifestyle.
Justin Echevarria
It is the year 2020, who ever thought we would make it this far? Well I am proud to say you have achieved what you planned, finally became an electrical engineer. Although I am an engineer does not necessarily mean that you’ll become one as well. Due to “time travel” if you slack off in school your future will change, so I highly recommend don’t just lounge around because to gain success you need determination. Yes I am considered “successful” because I graduated from New York City College of Technology and now I’m an engineer, but you will not be able to overcome obstacles if you’re being lazy. If you study from once the semester begins it will honestly be less stressful and of course more helpful, and eventually less work in the long run. Also stop dwelling on the past of what you should’ve changed because those mistakes made you who you are and if you really want change make the change now, proceed, become something, succeed with bliss. There are a lot of questions you probably have for me, so one of the questions I think you may ask, “did I move out or do I still live with a parent?” Yes! I did move out just recently beautiful condo, still living in New York so not everyone is nice, but its a great living.
Today I’m an advertising account manager at an advertising agency I interned at about 6 years ago when I was in high school and I absolutely love my job! To make things even better I just got engaged and my fiancé and I have finally started planning the wedding. Seven years later and we’re still together. We’re holding off on the kids of course though, we both want to invest in ourselves and enjoying life itself before all of that. Anyhow, after I graduated from LIM I had a contact from an agency I interned at my senior year of high school, and she still happened to remember me and offered to set up an interview. If I could’ve gone back change some things 5 years ago back in college I definitely would have. Although everything is great now I really wish I would’ve focused on school way harder, my family and worked on being less lazy so I could reach my full potential.
In the time ahead, I am in an office with a team of developers talking about our future plans and deadlines we have for the release date. I see myself getting ready to use my brain and hands to get creative with the team. Today we start to put on the final touches on the game were developing, having while doing it I probably would not see it as a job, more like a hobby since a job is not really a job if you enjoy it. I will be on my computer and papers drawing, designing characters and maps for multiplayer games maybe even create a soon to be popular character. Create an awesome campaign with a confusing but interesting story, being a game designer can even take me to places like Tokyo or Montreal since there are famous game studios located in those places. The way to reach your goal is getting over the obstacles in your life it can be difficult but when you accomplish it, it will be worth it because of what you can achieve.
I’m Bryan Jimenez and I’m twenty four years old, I’m now graduating from the Fashion Institute of Technology. There at FIT I met a very special person who I am now engaged to and we are working together on our fashion dream. During my student years at FIT I did a lot of internships that expanded my connects in fashion, photography, and art. And thanks to this big connects I made throughout college I am going to be showing an spring/summer ’21 “Ready to Wear” collection at New York Fashion Week. My fashion career has grown so much in just five years, it’s unbelievable how far I’ve come. During this essay I’m going to argue to myself on how I can change the way I was thinking five years ago. Three things I would’ve done in the past would be to focus on school, learn how to be patient and practice more exercises.
Five years from now, I see myself having a college degree, and having a job. I’m not sure what that degree is, but I definitely would have a degree. I don’t want to settle down and get a full time job, house, and kids immediately after collage. I want to get a job where I can work for six months and save up as much money as possible, and then spend some time travelling with my girlfriend. I have always wanted to see India, South Africa, Brazil and Hawaii.
I am not sure what my future job will be. My major is Communication Design, but lately I have been thinking about switching to architecture. It’s much harder to get accepted, but it’s easier to get a job and the salary is way better. So if I could go back in time to give my present self some advice, I would probably tell myself to set school as my first priority in life. Education is a key that open doors for you in the future, in forms of jobs and meeting likeminded people with the same interests as you. Of course you do not have to walk through that door, but at least you have the opportunity to do so. If you do not have any education, many doors will stay closed forever.
In this essay, I am making an argument to myself on how I will work in order make progress and finally achieve the goals I have set for myself. I will be discussing how to better manage my time, prioritizing school in front of “distractions”, and finding out what I who I want to be five years from now.
Whatever you do, do not stop! Everything leading to now is going to pay off in the next couple of years. Currently, you made your long life dream of becoming an actor a reality. It took many bumps and bruises but you finally have your own spotlight on your very own comedic sitcom. Remember that time when you wanted to quit because you met many scammers around the entertainment world? Well, instead of hanging up the towel, you decided that this career was all you had and working a nine to five just wasn’t in your future. Now because of your career and who you are, you were able to not only gain the annual income you’ve always dreamt of but also premiered on covers of magazines, walked red carpets and even became a guest on SNL and Ellen. For lack of a better word, you made it! The only thing now is……. can the past me take the same direction?
In my essay, i’m basically going to speak about steps that i need to take in order to make my dream a reality and to try my best to answer questions that future me could probably ask
Dear Bishwash,
Firstly I have to say you have a lot of work ahead of you. As I near twenty four I am in the happiest place in my life. I have Graduated college with good grades and I have started working for a big tech firm. I work with a group of talented guys and we are trying to build a software. I am just about to finish the first draft of my software. I won’t tell you what it is about because the spark of imagination will be too much for you but its going to be awesome. Although, I have a bachelors degree I am planning for masters. I am earning really well, so I am thinking of investing in real state. This letter is to convince myself in past what to focus on for the future.
In this letter I am going to discuss scholarship, exercise and maintaining a happier lifestyle as my three major areas I should focus my thinking on.
I have been through a lot the last years of my life and have achieved this is a blessing for me and to the people that surround me every day. My name is Lorena Batista and this is my life in 2020, I have never wished to be rich or those things that most people wish in life, I just want to be successful, do what I want and be next to the people that I love the most. As many people, I have worked very hard to become a good professional. Right now, I am a very good psychologist and I just started a master in Psychotherapy. I think that choosing this major 5 years ago was a great decision because at this moment, I am able to help the people and could have the privilege of do what I enjoy in life and do not feel bored at work the rest of my life. I always thank the people that have worried about me and for sharing this inner happiness with me.
To get all this in my life I had to change the way I used to see the things, I understood that in order to achieve my goals I would have to work harder and also walk away from the things and people that don’t bring nothing good to my life. We have to work hard for the things we want in life, that is the only way to change the things that don’t make us happy.
REVISED,
Dear Luis de la Cruz
First of all congratulations on becoming a united state citezen on March, 06, 2015 you have come along way but you finally accomplished one of your goals, but what is good having a passport to travel the world if you still stuck in New York. To make it more clear to you, my name is Luis de la Cruz and I am you writing to you from the year 2020, 5 years has pass and we graduated from city tech, but we still don’t live the life we wanted to live. I write to you to make you realize that the things we think about the least are what we should be focusing on the most to be successful as soon as you graduate. For once start going to sleep early so you can wake up well rested and don’t need to fall asleep in class. Also try to pay more mind to your classes so we can keep on track and understand are main objective and make sure we handle are task correctly, and complete all are work in time even thoe right now you don’t have a laptop to do your work find a place UNTILL you get one, by the way another important thing you should be thinking about is saving up your money and handle your incomes well, don’t waste your money on unnecerry thing try to invest in your future, and last but not least out your dreams ahead of everything, don’t let no one inturupt you, from getting what you want, follow these steps and by the time you graduate from City Tech your going to be successful.
It’s the year 2020, and it’s been a while since I just graduated from City Tech. Currently, I just finished my master degree in robotics already. In addition, I just started to work in my research in order to get my Ph.D. in robotics at Cornell University. Even though, it is a long way to go, I find myself optimistic and with a lot energy in order to complete this long task which is my investigation in order to produce new technology such as flying cars and artificial organs in order to help people. In order to accomplish all this great future, first, I am going to talk to my past self about all the problems in deep. Second, I am going to give him some solutions to those problems. Finally, I am going to talk about all the benefits if he follows these advices.
Revised
It is very hard to analyze your present. I think it is even harder to predict your own future. If somebody will ask me today, to imagine myself back in 2010 and say : “where are you think you are going to be in 2015?”, I will never answer…
We can only plan and work hard for our goals or just wait patiently for something might, or might not happen to us. You can easily create a path in your head and lead towards what you want or take some risks and opportunities and change your path completely.
Don’t forget an age factor. It is getting much easier to form your goals, plan your actions, plus your experience are helping you to avoid making wrong decisions and waste your time.
I realized that my main focus is career. And in next 5 years I will put more effort in getting the position I want. To join a corporation that I am planning to work for. Finish college with good grades and follow my dreams.