GA12: Post One Paragraph

Please review your revised Argumentative Response Essay (RWA9) and select one paragraph from the essay that you would like us to discuss as a class. Since, most recently, we have been focusing on using and writing about textual evidence in our writing, I would strongly suggest that you post a paragraph that contains textual evidence. Please also include three questions that you have about your paragraph. We will be discussing each of these paragraphs, your questions about them, and strategies for writing with textual evidence in our next class session.

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28 Responses to GA12: Post One Paragraph

  1. Tyra Daniel says:

    I will be posting my third paragraph from my Argumentative Response Essay:

    In the book Industry, writers are now trying to figure out what to write to captivate readers attention. Due to the high demand of the interest in books online or even articles/blogs, writers now have to think of a “hot topic”. This was mentioned in LeGuin’s essay when she referred to a woman in an article from the NY Times (“Finding Your Book Interrupted…By the Tablet You Read It On” by Julie Bosman and Matt Richtel, March 4, 2012). The woman explains her standard in which she decides what is a good read to dedicate her time to. If the book can not make her forget the entertaining world she lives in then it is not worth her time. This is a pro for the authors argument, in which I agree with as technology now makes it harder to give in to other texts. However, there are some readers who are the direct opposite.

    Three Questions that I have about my paragraph:
    1) This essay always confused me in regards to citation and references. Did I properly cite my point even though it was cited in the essay by LeGuin the same exact way?
    2) Would you consider that strong textual Evidence?
    3) How can I write this differently?

  2. Samuel says:

    Paragraph 3:
    In addition, the Internet is changing the way we obtain information. Research conducted by scholars show that Internet us affects cognition. During the research, the scholars studied the performance of visitors to use popular research sites. The discovered that the people who used the sites “typically read no more than one or two pages of an article” before they would move onto other sites. This shows that Internet use alters the way people read and think.

    Questions:
    1. How can I mention the source?
    2. How can I elaborate?
    3. What does “lc” mean?

  3. Anika says:

    Paragraph 4-
    Even with these benefits, there are still drawbacks to reading online. Carr describes in his article that there’s a price we pay for reading online. The internet shapes our process of thought. We don’t look for the answer to our problems anymore, we just google it and use the information that is presented to us. “Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a jet ski.” This quote from Carr’s essay shows that we used to dive into our readings and become interested in what we were learning. Now we just read whatever is given to us without any thought. I agree with this point because the internet does change how we think. Instead of thinking of things and analyzing our reading, we just turn to google to give us the answer. Sometimes we even get frustrated when we can’t find what we’re looking for online after looking at the first three links. This shows how the internet is chipping away at our concentration. We can’t sit down and read for a long time because we’re so used to the internet giving us the answer after two clicks.

    Questions-
    1. Do I still have to in text cite that quote even though I mentioned after that it was a quote from Carr?
    2. Do I get my point across clearly how I agree with Carr?
    3. How could I have introduced the quote?

  4. 3rd Paragraph:
    Reading is good for everyone but it is not fun if we don’t enjoy it. To me, enjoyable readings are the ones that are short and precise, not long and boring. According to Carr, “it almost seems that [we] go online to avoid reading in the traditional sense”, but I disagree since the Internet provides the information clearly and to the point without unnecessary reading. It becomes very boring when we have to read unwanted passages. Therefore, reading online is more efficient and entertaining since we can access solely to the articles which are more effective to our research than others. Once we have what we are actually looking for, we do use traditional sense of reading to complete the articles, stories, researches, etc. So, it is not that we avoid the traditional reading, it is just that we use it in different ways.

    Three Questions:
    1. Why my second last sentence doesn’t make sense?
    2. How could I put my evidence in Interrupter and Buffet style?
    3. How could improve this paragraph?

  5. Demba Diop says:

    4th Paragraph
    When it comes to synthesize Information from Google, a lot of people don’t consider it . People just me just take whatever google offered to to us . that leads Myrianne Wolf said ” when we read online ,we become mere decoders” .therefore reading a book become more efficient to read on book than online . when we take information from a book we don’t have no exact datas . we always need to make sure that we are taking just what we need.
    I have 2 questions
    Is it possible to discuss of 2 textual evidence in one paragraph?
    How to introduce a textual evidence?

  6. Huilinmei says:

    How does the internet affect our brains? The internet makes people lose their attention easily. According to the essay “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” Nicholas Carr states That”Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get Frigety, lose the thread, begin to look for something else to do.” Carr discusses that he can’t stay focused when he was reading. He gets lost easily. I have the same experience as Carr too.

    1. How can I improve my paragraph?
    2. Actually, I have more after this paragraph. When you grade my essay, you recommended me to separate them into two paragraphs. So my question is when I need to separate the paragraphs.
    3. Is this consider a references or citation?
    Thank you ~

  7. Huilinmei says:

    How does the internet affect our brains? The internet makes people lose their attention easily. According to the essay “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” Nicholas Carr states That”Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get Frigety, lose the thread, begin to look for something else to do.” Carr discusses that he can’t stay focused when he was reading. He gets lost easily. I have the same experience as Carr too.

    1. How can I improve my paragraph?
    2. Actually, I have more after this paragraph. When you grade my essay, you recommended me to separate them into two paragraphs. So my question is when I need to separate the paragraphs.
    3. Is this consider a references or citation?
    Thank you ~

  8. T. Mohamed says:

    Carr’s essay also serves as proof that ebook is an incomplete evolution of books. Carr about how the internet has led to many people losing interest quickly while reading because they don’t grasp an understanding of certain reading materials as quickly as the internet “expects” them to. This relates to my point that people’s interest in “the book” is dying because they digress so fast from reading books that they may as well not even open one. Also, as soon as they put the book down, they probably won’t go back to the book. In a section of Carr’s essay, he talks about a research conducted on two people at the University College London who were given access to articles, ebooks, and more. The two “exhibited ‘a form of skimming activity’” where they weren’t really reading anything, and they would do that for about a page or two and then they would “‘bounce’ out to another site.” This was evidence that people’s interest in reading is indeed dying and the internet is contributing to that. This also shows that ebooks aren’t just part of the evolution of books, but also a result of the evolution of the internet.

    1) Are my sentences written in logical order?
    2) Could I have used different supporting details to make a stronger argument?
    3) How does this paragraph help to prove my point of the whole essay?

  9. Sheldon says:

    Third body paragraph:

    My second reason that Google could be making a stupid is because users can possibly be avoiding reading in a traditional sense. When the University College of London did a research on users using the Internet with two popular websites, they came to the conclusion that use or don’t fully read an article before clicking on another link to another article. “Hopping from one source to another” is the best quote to describe what users do. If these users aren’t reading the information show it to them, then they are missing out on that knowledge which can make us stupid for not knowing.

    Three Questions
    1: You putted a star from “ …websites, don’t fully… link to another article”. What did you like about that part?
    2: You put (ICE) near one of my quotes. Maybe a quote wasn’t needed since I already explained above my second reason google could be making us stupid?
    3: When I mentioned University College London, sometimes I tend to also add the abbreviation (UCL) like in my last group post on the biblical citation. Is it fine to have the abbreviation there or it isn’t needed? This is more like an opinion question.

  10. Alex says:

    Conclusion :
    In my opinion, Google does not make us stupid like Carr suggests in his article. Google may make us seem lazy because we do less reading and physical activity. In the end, Carr never really provide scientific evidence that shows it, the brain’s circuitry is actually changed. I believe that human brain is by learning how to incorporate cyberspace into daily life and people continue to create and improve technology.
    Three Questions:
    1) How do I make parallel in “people continue to create and improve technology”?
    2)What other word can I use to make change on “adapt?”

  11. Chadel says:

    In Conclusion I think that Google and the internet is making us “Stupid” because even though it helps us out so much I think it’s a major distraction to learning and doing anything else that would seem important. Like for example writing a paper for school, if your in school like me you can relate to the struggles of keeping on task on a paper that’s due at 11:59pm when it’s 10:30pm. I also think the internet is making us into lazy people because it’s limiting our poetical and which is something people really should be taking about in society today.

    1)How can I rewrite this for more clarity
    2)What’s another word for struggles?
    3)What’s if the internet didn’t exist? , where would we be today?

  12. Thanks, everyone, for these posts! I’ve set up a Google Document where we can discuss these paragraphs:

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1phNXn0Pv1fZCLYq3mPsM6mOJIjXbm32hoAMNaJJfBIQ/edit?usp=sharing

  13. Kyle Brunson says:

    According to Ms. Leguin, “People are in fact reading and writing now more than they ever did.” It’s difficult to disagree with that. We live in a day and age where 83.8% of households in the United States own a computer and roughly 77% of Americans own a smartphone. It’s clear that technology has become a rather large part of our lives. And in order to operate these machines, people have to able to read. Thanks to technology, reading has become a skill more significant to daily life function than ever before. I can’t inagine a world where “The Book” dies as a result of a lack of reading.

    1- I struggle with topic sentences. How did I do here? How can I improve it?
    2- I don’t think it was required at the time, but, in the future, I should cite those statistics, right?
    3- It’s a somewhat short paragraph. Did I get the point across clearly or should I expand on it?

  14. Paragraph 2

    Why the Digital Phenomenon of the Internet is affecting our society from screening information? The Internet is disrupting our train of thought, by flooding our brain with vast amounts of information, “remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory” states Nicholas Carr ” Is Google Making Us Stupid.” Although there are many benefits to using goggle on the internet, Carr argues that we being affected subconsciously by not thinking the way we used to researching and analyzing material. First our concentration is affected from surfing and strolling the internet for hours without focusing on deep reading of one thread.

    Questions:
    1. How can I make this paragraph more supportive of the argument?
    2.How to properly introduce the citation or paraphrase the author?
    3. Are my sentences parallel or arranged logically?

  15. Ojanny says:

    My first paragraph from my argumentative,

    I recently read your essay entitled ‘Is Google Making Us Stupid?’ and I was rather impressed by your arguments on technology ruining our lives. You profoundly explain why technology is becoming the main way in which we hear and watch things. In addition, you add very relevant examples of how google and social media have affected the way you read in a negative way. You also add many examples of how the internet affect our thinking in a negative way. I agree with your arguments because with technology being so new at that and us wanting to try every new thing to help us in our daily life. We easily got carried away by it and wasn’t aware that technology can easily take over our minds if we let it, in result causing harm such as not being able to fully engage with traditional writing which was one of the things Carr struggled with.But in present time, I disagree because I believe that now as we have evolved a bit more and understand technology more we can make smarter choices when it comes to uses of it and that meaning not letting it take over our lives.

    Although late these are three Questions I had:
    1. Is my thesis clear enough ?
    2. Should I put a quoute in the intro to give more context ?
    3. Is the intro well arranged to the point you get my argument ?

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