Category: self-help critiques

I love the idea of self-help and a lot of the ideas the genre as a whole presents. But with that being said, there are many valid critiques of the genre, that even as a self-help lover, I notice and even agree with. It is important to take into consideration critiques no matter how much you love something, and that is what I did researching three articles that discuss critiques of the self-help genre.

First I read Improving Ourselves to Death by Alexandra Schwartz. (https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/01/15/improving-ourselves-to-death.  

I really enjoyed this article because it had a “real” feeling to it. I feel as though a lot of concepts in the genre of self-help can almost feel “magical” and unobtainable, and this article discusses the same feeling. In the article, Schwartz speaks about how inadequate self-help can make you feel. There are so many ways to “self improve” ourselves, from practices that “help” the inside, to other practices which only fix outer appearances. But inherently seeking help for something, means there is something wrong in the first place. So in pursuit of this “internal happiness” that is promoted through the idea of self-help, it can also do the opposite by convincing you that you are so broken you need to be fixed. A great example she uses within the article is from the book “Desperately Seeking Self-Improvement: A Year Inside the Optimization Movement” by Carl Cederström and André Spicer. In this book, these two professors set out to try a new self-help technique each month and target those areas of themself that “need” help, for one year. In the end, Spicer reveals that “He doesn’t feel like a better version of himself. He doesn’t even feel like himself. He has been like a man possessed.” He says he spent the year doing things so unlike him he has lost touch with himself. And he also says he lost touch with others because he was so focused on himself. The whole article speaks on this concept of perfectionism within the self-help genre and how completely unhealthy and even selfish it can be.

The next article is by an author that is within the genre. Mark Manson creator of ” The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” discusses ‘5 Problems with the Self- Help’. Industry'(https://markmanson.net/self-help). I find this ironic since he is within the industry but also perfect for that very reason. At the beginning of the article, before he even starts the list, he says that self-help is “a market-driven, rather than a peer-reviewed industry.” This shows that the focus is not on making sure the information is the most accurate rather on what is the most sellable. The first and the last reason he discusses is similar to the critique in the previous article. He talks about how someone who is already feeling, feelings of inferiority might look at a self-help book and think “A Bad-to-OK person will read the same book and say, “Wow, look at all of this stuff I’m not doing. I’m an even bigger loser than I initially thought.” He says before learning any self-help lesson you need to have self-acceptance and see yourself as “a good person who makes mistakes”. Manson also discusses that self-help practices can easily become a tool for avoidance. If a person complains about not having a job because they drink too much. And they replace drinking with yoga but still don’t have a job, clearly, there is a bigger issue of laziness going on. Next, he discusses how unrealistic self-help can be. Promoting that through certain practices of self-help such as, suppressing certain feelings, or filling an already anxious person with information on relaxation techniques, only temporarily provides relief. Another problem he speaks on is the lack of medical credibility when it comes to the practices, he says majority of self-help information out there is either a placebo at best or complete bunk at worst.”

The last article I discovered was “Why the Self-Help Movement Keeps Leaving Us Feeling Helpless” by Alexandra Davis (https://verilymag.com/2019/05/why-the-self-help-movement-keeps-leaving-us-feeling-helpless).

This article touches on a few of the different critiques within the self-help genre. First, she discusses how self-help typically lacks the answer to “why”. Yeah, meditating can calm you down but why do you have those feelings of anxiousness in the first place. Davis states “And where does this leave us eager listeners? Drinking all the green smoothies, visualizing all the success, and opening all the retirement accounts, but still left wanting.” Meaning once you adapted all these improvement practices, what’s next once you don’t feel this overwhelming, relieving feeling. She also, like the other two articles, speaks on the feeling of inadequacy. And how in this age of perfectionism and seeking to improve every aspect of yourself is impossible to achieve because as a human you will make mistakes. And lastly, she touches on the subject of how self-help blames the victim. Gurus promote that you are in charge of everything in your life, but that simply is not true, and chronic diseases or loss of a loved one is evidence of that.

Sources:

Schwartz, Alexandra, et al. “Improving Ourselves to Death.” The New Yorker, Jan. 2018, www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/01/15/improving-ourselves-to-death.

Manson, Mark. “5 Problems with the Self-Help Industry.” Mark Manson, Mark Manson, 16 Apr. 2021, markmanson.net/self-help.

Davis, Alexandra. “Why the Self-Help Movement Keeps Leaving Us Feeling Helpless.” Verily, Verily, 21 May 2019, verilymag.com/2019/05/why-the-self-help-movement-keeps-leaving-us-feeling-helpless.

Presentation:

Self help critiques (Aryanna Smith)

 

First article 

“In 2002, it was reported that, on average, we experience an interruption every eight minutes or about seven or eight per hour. In an eight-hour day, that is about 60 interruptions. The average interruption takes about five minutes, so that is about five hours out of eight”.

This quote shows that us humans don’t concentrate very well because if we get interrupted from an activity it won’t take 1 min to resume because we check what we have to check and then do other things on our smartphones. 

 

Second article 

“With independence comes the fear of rejection and humiliation. Relationships, or lack of them, cause immense stress, not least because these are busy years in terms of shaping identity. Greater fluidity around identity can bring its own challenges”.

I personally agree with this quote because as I was going into my first year high school I feared rejection because I was convinced that people wouldn’t accept me due to my opinions, behaviors or personality. I was afraid of getting humiliated by the way I looked or dressed. 

 

Third article 

“But it’s human nature to linger on those feelings of regret. We tend to look back and think that missed opportunities — real or imagined — could have set us on a different, possibly more rewarding path. Left unchecked, these emotions can become overwhelming sources of stress and anxiety.”

I agree with this quote because I feel if life for me would have turned out differently I would have a better life. I say this because I’ve done things in the past that I wish I never done and I always wished that I can go back in time and change my ways. 

Presentation

self help critique (3 articles) PRESENTATION (this is the power point attachment) 

Can you help yourself?  My personal answer is at the end =)

I have reviewed 3 articles that criticize self-help literature and merchandise.

The first  article from Vox entitled “I was a self-help guru. Here’s why you shouldn’t listen to people like me”  written by Michelle Woodman; https://www.vox.com/first-person/2017/1/23/14238530/self-help-advice-bogus

Woodman wrote:  “I learned the hard way that the people trying to solve your problems often need help the most. And that playing the expert guru is a hypocrite’s game, because practicing what you preach is tough.”

I would personally say, this happens to most or perhaps all of us: “IT IS EASIER TO SPOT THE PROBLEM IN THE OTHERS RATHER THE PROBLEM WITH OURSELVES.”

Well, Woodman went on to mention that she knew dating advice columnists who did not date, career experts who advocated for certain habits that they barely had, and the funniest example was a consultant alleging expertise in freelance income but had privately admitted he had no idea how much he made nor how to handle such money because his wife handled all his income.

The second article from The New Yorker entitled: “helping ourselves to death” written by Alexandra Schawrtz. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/01/15/improving-ourselves-to-death.

Schawrtz called The Secret of Rondha Byrne, a testament to the predatory optimism that characterized the years leading up to the financial crisis. “People dreamed big, and, in a day of easy money, found that their dreams could come true. Then the global economy crashed, and we were shaken violently awake.”

Schawrtz quoted Cederström, Spicer, Storrs and Sara Knights in her article.

Cedestron and Spicer  pinpoint that in a consumerist society we think “we must” buy the latest item. This bad mindset includes self-improvement merchandise. Which conveniently generates billions for the self-improvement industry. However, his criticism says that because of the constant new self-help merchandise we are unconsciously pushed to catch up (buy something that we do not even need).

On the other hand, Storr says that: “since it is our environment that is causing us to feel inferior, it is our environment that we must change: “The things we’re doing with our lives, the people we’re sharing it with, the goals we have. We should find projects to pursue which are not only meaningful to us, but over which we have control.” Storr acknowledges that to change every aspect of the world we inhabit is a daunting prospect.  And perhaps this is the reason why people “conform” to only change themselves instead.

Sara Knights calls herself a “bestselling anti-guru” and her favorite motto is “there is nothing wrong with you” She agrees with Storr that what is wrong is society.

The third article entitled “The Problem with Self Help” by Ray Williams. https://raybwilliams.medium.com/the-problem-with-the-self-help-movement-ab972ef58728

William criticizes that the self-help gurus are self-appointed experts. And that there are no guidelines for self help books, not even the American Psychological Association has it. However, the APA has ethical standards that call for published materials to avoid exaggerations, sensationalism, misrepresentations, and superficiality.

 

And in addition, to these 3 articles, I have watched a you tube video from RICH ROLL, a corporate lawyer in California, who nowadays has a podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GrPCKRkBiQ

Roll mentioned that: “the abundance of self-help literature nowadays almost force you get one and by reading it one sometimes gets this false sensation that one has helped himself/herself when in reality, one only read one more book.”

And read an extra 4^th article from psychology today entitled “ Which is better self-help or therapy”  written by Phillipa Perry. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-stay-sane/201303/which-is-better-self-help-or-therapy

Perry argues in favor of therapy by stating that “A book cannot possibly hear you; it will never be a conversation.” However, she acknowledges that “print has the weight of authority because spoken words can be ephemeral. Perry adds that self-help books are a much cheaper  option and don’t require appointments.” However, she also reminds us the importance of humans relations and therefore the impact of a human (therapist) in helping you unlike a nonliving being as is a book.

So, coming back to the initial question; Can you really help yourself?

There are some situations when one is not even aware that one needs help, therefore one cannot help oneself, BUT there are other situations where yes! One can help oneself =)

 

 

The three articles I chose when speaking on self-help critiques focus on those who struggle with mental health issues, and how they aren’t truly being helped. 

In the first article, “5 Problems with the Self-Help Industry”, Mark Manson does just as you may have thought, he sheds light on the 5 major issues within this multi-billion dollar industry. The 5 problems are as follows:

1.) “Self-help reinforces perceptions of inferiority and shame”. With this first issue, Manson points out the two types of people that are into self-help– those who think they’re flawed and want to improve themselves, and those who see themselves as already good individuals but that can be a little better. Someone who only wants to better themselves a little more will take what is said in these books and try to apply it to their lives. Someone who believes they’re flawed may be harder on themselves and will heavily rely on someone else to tell them what to do. The only way to really benefit is to first “accept yourself as a good person who makes mistakes”.

2.) “Self-help is often yet another form of avoidance”. Manson believes self-help fails to help those with feelings of shame, anxiety/ neuroticism.

3.) “Self-help marketing creates unrealistic expectations”. People are taught to suppress their negative feelings. More use of relaxation techniques create short term feelings of accomplishment/ improvement for individuals.

4.) “Self-help is (usually) not scientifically validated”. This industry is very market-driven not so much peer-reviewed. Here he points out practices that have scientific backings such as “meditation/ mindfulness, keeping a journal, stating what you’re grateful for each day, being charitable and giving to others”. 

5.) “Self-help is a contradiction”. Self-help means it must be reached on your own. The main message of this is no one can help you better than yourself– everyone’s lives are different. What may work for one person, may not work for you. You just have to slowly make improvements and not be so hard on yourself.

The second article, “Improving Ourselves to Death”, by Alexandra Shwartz name drops a lot of  popular apps and books that are used nowadays. While doing this, Shwartz also points out, “It’s no longer enough to imagine our way to a better state of body or mind. We must now chart our progress, count our steps, log our sleep rhythms, tweak our diets, record our negative thoughts—then analyze the data, recalibrate, and repeat”. For some people this might prove beneficial, but to most it isn’t. Another problem within the self-help industry is sometimes the expectations are set too high, and there is no need for that.

The last article titled “The Problem With the Self-Help Movement” by Ray Williams speaks about the industry gaining more popularity when individuals are going through distress or turmoil in their lives. Williams speaks on the same problems as Manson and Shwartz, results from many of these self-help books are short-term, making it so that you always come back to these texts or try finding another text that can help you, and majority of the sources aren’t credible.

Sources:

Manson, Mark. “5 Problems with the Self-Help Industry.” Mark Manson, Mark Manson, 16 Apr. 2021, markmanson.net/self-help. 

Schwartz, Alexandra. “Improving Ourselves to Death.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 8 Jan. 2018, www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/01/15/improving-ourselves-to-death. 

Williams, Ray. “The Problem With the Self-Help Movement.” Medium, Medium, 7 Oct. 2019, raybwilliams.medium.com/the-problem-with-the-self-help-movement-ab972ef58728. 

Powerpoint:

Self-Help Critiques-2

 

Finding yourself

Who are you? I feel this question comes up alot when dealing with anything. It can come up when terrible things happen or good things happen. In my personal experience, that question comes up when you are trying to figure out what you are truly destined for. I personally believe before you are born you are destined for something, and throughout your life, you work things out, create new things, even try out new things just to figure out what it is. When I say “things” mean situations, goals to make for yourself to figure out what you like vs don’t. Engage yourself in sports, literature, etc. You could turn out to be a personal athlete. Or an author of many award winning books.

An article about “A guide to finding yourself” by Psyche alive talks about our past and how it has a way of shaping our lives. “Painful early experiences often determine how we define and defend ourselves”. What that exactly means in other words is it would filter out who you are and why you are shaped or colored to one side. “ We could grow up always feeling on the defense or resistant to trying new challenges for fear of being ridiculed”. According to this article, to break this behavior we have to know what’s driving it so we know what that’s the source of our most limiting and or self destructive tendencies.

Another article that called “Finding yourself is harder than you think” by Trevin wax. In this article she talks about discovering yourself is impossible unless you reference other people. I feel like that is very true because it states in the article” when you are most dedicated to standing out and being different from others, you are still defining yourself in response to others”. This is true because anyone can admit that, whenever you are trying to fix yourself, where it’s your personal strengths or even the clothes you put on your body, you will always have In the back of your mind, the simple words” would this look right” meaning what would other people think?

In my third article it talks about “Why finding yourself is important for a fulfilling life” by TBD. They talk about different situations and why it is beneficial to your personal being. Spending time alone, traveling, trying new things and loving who you are.
Loving yourself talks about you are born with the skin that you are in now and that is never going to change. It’s important to learn to love yourself. The media gives you unrealistic goals of how we should look. Trying something new whether its an exercise class or some new food or even simply as new as home decor. It can give a fresh start to your life and can become exciting according to the article. Travel does wonders to open up your mind to experiences new things. Spending time alone is one of the most refreshing and reflecting things to do. It’s just you and your thoughts.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/13u3o3OITRZOQN0MrDColUYtKmWkQo1aJsMurvS2wu5o/edit#slide=id.gd31eadb406_0_10

https://www.psychalive.org/finding-yourself/

‘Finding Yourself’ Is Harder Than You Think

Why Finding Yourself Is Important For Living A Fulfilling Life