Ajah Shann – Self-Help Literature (ENG 3402: Topics in Literature)

The Importance of Self-Love Within Romantic Relationships

When it comes to self-love in romantic relationships, we tend to focus on the mental, physical, and spiritual growth in oneself, specifically the positive and negative impacts it can have on the partner itself. This topic interest me because I had a hard time loving myself when I was young in feeling that I did not belong because of who I am. Moving back and forth between Trinidad and New York, I had challenges making friends because I was afraid to put myself out there and did not want to get rejected for being myself. Ever since I had those problems and feelings when I was young, it has affected me in ways of wondering if I will ever be good enough for someone I truly love.

As stated by the article intitled, ‘Self-Love and What It Means,’ “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.” Love is important in all relationships, and it is especially important to love yourself. If you do not love yourself, then how can you expect others to? One way to start loving yourself more is by thinking about your past and noticing when you began having negative feelings about yourself.

Self-awareness is not enough to make us love ourselves. We need to understand the negative feelings we have about ourselves and why we have had those feelings in the past. That way, we can begin a process of changing our thoughts about who we are and how much value we place on ourselves. To increase self-love and heal personal wounds, one must first build up their self-esteem. However, most of us grow up believing that negative assessments about ourselves are rational or reasonable. We believe this because we hear these negative thoughts from our inner voice all the time.

Self-love plays a pretty big role in one’s relationships with others. When one shifts their mindset to view their relationship with their self just like any other relationship, they desire with someone else, their relationship will thrive. Do not forget that the relationship one has with their self is the one relationship that one knows for sure they are going to have for the rest of life, so why not make it the best relationship?

Ajah Shann-Cover Letter

Ajah Shann-Research Presentation

The Importance of Self-Love

As stated by the article intitled, ‘Self-Love and What It Means,’ “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.” The purpose of this paper is to explain the importance of self-love and in romantic relationships, especially the positive and negative impacts it has. The importance of self-love first comes from within, which focuses on the areas of things such as moving away from perfectionism, self-compassion, learning to listen to yourself, doing yoga and meditation, and many more.

Practice self-love by becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want. Another action is taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what one needs, it can help turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get one into trouble, keep one stuck in the past, and lessen self-love. One also needs to act on practicing good self-care. One can love their self more when they take better care of their basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions. Lastly, there is making room for healthy habits. One should start truly caring for their self by mirroring that in what they eat, how they exercise, and what they spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because one “have to,” but because one care about their self. Self-love plays a pretty big role in one’s relationships with others. When one shifts their mindset to view their relationship with their self just like any other relationship, they desire with someone else, their relationship will thrive. Do not forget that the relationship one has with their self is the one relationship that one knows for sure they are going to have for the rest of life, so why not make it the best relationship?

Presentation: Importance of Self-Love

The Effects Of Self-Love In Romantic Relationships

After doing my proposal last week, along with the reviews from my fellow classmates and professor, I was able to narrow down my topic more on what I plan to research for my assignment. The topic I chose for my research paper is based on love, especially self-love within romantic relationships. As I stated in my previous proposal, “This topic interest me because I had a hard time loving myself when I was young in feeling that I did not belong because of who I am. Moving back and forth between Trinidad and New York, I had challenges making friends because I was afraid to put myself out there and did not want to get rejected for being myself.” Ever since I had those problems and feelings when I was young, it has affected me in ways of wondering if I will ever be good enough for someone I truly love. Therefore, for this research assignment, I want to explore how self-love impacts on romantic relationships, in a positive and negative way. Also, I hope to specifically learn the key elements of love and how to really implement it fully to myself. I think from doing this specific topic for my assignment, would give me a better understanding of it all and really help me to improve myself presently.

The first source that I found which relates to my topic is a book called, ‘All About Love,’ by Bell Hooks. This book will first ask you to practice deep and honest reflection about how you love and if it is really love at all, and then it would really set you free. It can be read as a self-help book but written more like a memoir and an academic text, with Hooks’ distinctly sharp style and analytical approach. Hooks delves into the ways we learn how to love by example, and what happens to those who do not have examples of love in their own lives. She unpacks cultural paradigms and dynamics about relationships, respect, and sex to ultimately forge a path toward love that is a verb, not a noun, that is sacred and true, both on a personal and collective, societal level.

The second source that I found which relates to my topic is an article intitled, ‘Self-Love Is the New #RelationshipGoals,’ by Davia Sills. As stated in the article, “Finding yourself means soul-searching the peaks and valleys of your life and seeing them as a necessary part of your growth. Having the ability to self-reflect means being comfortable spending time with yourself, devoid of shame and judgment, to work on you—your insecurities, strengths, flaws, and the valuable contributions that you have to offer to yourself and others. The ability to truly find happiness and love in yourself makes you more confident and self-assured in your love for others.” I totally agree with this statement because it explains how you need to learn to learn yourself first before you can love someone else.

The third source that I found which relates to my topic is an article intitled, ‘Self Care vs. Self Love: How to Love Yourself in a Relationship’ by Caitlin Killoren. As stated in the article, “In order to have a healthy relationship, both you and your partner need to be healthy yourselves. And, yes, physical health is always important, but that is not exactly what we mean here. We mean that both you and your partner need to be able to support and care for your own mental and emotional health.” I agree with this statement because it is something that I have been telling myself and really trying to work on.

The fourth source that I found which relates to my topic is an article intitled, ‘How to Develop Self-Love and Why This Will Strengthen Your Relationship,’ by Brad Alexander. A quote that I found in the article to be really intriguing was, “An outstanding love doesn’t come from two half-fulfilled people coming together to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full and beautiful lives.” (Pia Scade) This article talks about his experience and I really think that I can learn from him.

The fifth source that I found which relates to my topic is an article intitled, ‘The Importance of Treating Self-Love as a Relationship,’ by Courtney Harris Coaching. A quote that I found to be very admirable was, “Self-love is not a destination. It is a relationship. And like all relationships, it requires time, attention, care, and practice.” I really found that statement to be aspiring. As stated by the article, “When I think about self-love as a relationship, I feel a sense of understanding, patience, and compassion wash over me. And how poetic is it that these feelings are in alignment with the goal of self-love?! How does this idea of self-love as relationship land with you?”

The sixth source that I found which relates to my topic is website which includes advice intitled, ‘5 Reasons Why Self-Love is Important for Relationships,’ by Ruby Fremon. As stated by the article, “Everyone dreams of having a happily ever after type of relationship, but not everyone is willing to do the work required to get that type of relationship. You want to know the bold truth? Love is doomed without self-love. You need that foundation prior to stepping into relationships.” It also goes on to say, “Rather than jumping from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship… take a break and utilize that time to get to know you. Instead of seeking the love you desire from others, find that love within you first. Self-love is the foundation upon which you build all your other relationships. Everything comes down to how much you love yourself.” I totally agree with this and I think I should really consider those words of wisdom.

Sources Cited:

1. Alexander, Brad. “How to Develop Self-Love & Why This Will Strengthen Your Relationship.” Tiny Buddha, 28 December 2020. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/strong-relationships-stem-self-love-develop/ Accessed on 04 May 2021.

This source contains the author’s experience and stories about self-love and how it improves relationships. This source is useful to my topic because it talks about learning self-love while in a relationship, and how to develop self-love if you are in a relationship. These include the areas of how to maintain a degree of space and independence, to remember you are the master of your own happiness, to see in yourself what your partner sees in you, to do not get disheartened when you see your flaws, to forgive yourself for your failings, and to remember love is an action (not a feeling). This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on how self-love can improve the type of relationships you want to have in your life.

2. Coaching, Courtney Harris. “The Importance of Treating Self-Love as a Relationship.” 4 November 2020. https://courtneyharriscoaching.com/self-love-as-relationship/ Accessed on 04 May 2021.

This source contains information on seeing self-love as relationship, relationships love rituals, ideas for practicing self-love, and tapping into support. This source is useful to my topic because of the information that the author talks about. As stated in the article, “I like to think of rituals as containers for connection that we can count on. Rituals are practices that we return to again and again.” This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on how the importance of self-love is important and how it is treated as a relationship too.

3. Fremon, Ruby. “5 Reasons Why Self-Love Is Important for Relationships.” The Latest Catch, 16 February 2016. https://blog.pof.com/2016/02/5-reasons-self-love-important-relationships/ Accessed on 04 May 2021.

This source contains information on the importance of self-love for relationships, along with reasons on why it is. This source is useful to my topic because it talks about the areas on how you will attract better, on how you will improve the quality of your relationships, on how you will show up differently in relationships, and on how your partners will treat you differently. This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on the reasons of how self-love affects relationships in a positive way.

4. Hooks, Bell. “All about Love: New Visions.” Harper Perennial, 2018.

This source contains the ideas on; “1. Love is not what we thought it was, 2. Our culture praises the pursuit of materialism, and it is difficult to love others when we are so self-centered, 3. Self-love and spirituality are critical to having loving relationships with others, 4. People learn how to love from their families and friends, 5. Mutual growth and openness are the basis for love, 6. It’s not easy to fall in love and keep it going. We can’t control who we fall in love with, so we shouldn’t expect that to be the case.” This source is useful to my topic because discusses the problems with love, love’s definitions, honesty: the basis of love, the importance of self-love, and love and healing. This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on how to pursue love, where you first must define what you want from your relationship and then act on that desire by pursuing the person who can give it to you.

5. Killoren, Caitlin. “Self-Care vs. Self Love: How to Love Yourself in a Relationship.” Relish, 3 September 2020. https://hellorelish.com/articles/how-to-love-yourself-in-a-relationship.html Accessed on 04 May 2021.

This source contains how to practice self-care in your relationship and how to practice self-love in your relationship. This source is useful to my topic because within the two stated topics in the previous sentence, they include focusing on taking time to be solo, setting boundaries, managing stress levels, being present, recognizing your feelings, and seeking spiritual connection. This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on how to love yourself in a relationship and I feel like it really has valuable information that I can learn myself.

6. Sills, Davia. “Self-Love Is the New #RelationshipGoals.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 12 June 2019. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/201906/self-love-is-the-new-relationshipgoals#:~:text=With%20self%2Dlove%2C%20you%27,the%20need%20for%20external%20validation.&text=When%20you%20truly%20love%20yourself,and%20when%20to%20walk%20away Accessed on 04 May 2021.

This source contains six things to conquer in order to achieve self-love as the new #relationshipgoal. This source is useful to my topic because it explains how partners treat you the way they see you treat yourself, how more self-love will attract healthier relationships, how a relationship should be a partnership, not a codependent situation, how no one can make you happy the way you can make yourself happy, how to understand and accept that you cannot depend on other people to make you feel loved, and how people treat you the way they see you treat yourself. This source is reliable and should be taken seriously because I think it really relates to my topic on how self-love is really important within relationships.

Class Notes: Thursday (04/29)

After taking attendance at the beginning of the class, professor noted the agenda for the day’s class. We took about 20 minutes for peer review on our research topic project, about 5 minutes each for quickly skimming through and dropping a comment on each fellow classmates’ post. Then we looked over our own proposals and gave ourselves a critical comment. Professor also did the same by giving us a little advice and tips on how to improve and to narrow down our topics more.

Then we discuss an overall feedback as a class:

Courtney liked how everyone were able to have the title of their research proposal really connect to what their topic was about and what they were saying
Reem thought everyone had a personal connection in the topic they chose
Professor states that everyone needs to focus more on their topics; key terms; relation to self-help; background research, etc.

Then we moved on to individually doing more research on our topics for the revised proposal post that is due next week.

For Next Week’s Class on Tuesday 05/04 (asynchronous class):

Read – Individual Research for Final Project
Due – Work on revised research proposals & annotations (due Wednesday 05/05)
Class Notes will not be done because we will not meet as a class via Zoom.

For Next Week’s Class on Thursday 05/06:

Read – Individual Research for Final Project
Due – Revised Research Proposals & Annotated Sources (due Wednesday 05/05)
Class Notes will be done by Courtney.

What Is Self-Love & Love Within Relationships?

The topic I chose for my research paper is Love. My ideas for this topic would be exploring the different types of love. My questions for this topic would be how they correlate with one another, how the different aspects of love are similar and different, along with which ones are most important. Therefore, this is what I want to learn more about, along with what really interest me. This topic interest me because I had a hard time loving myself when I was young in feeling that I did not belong because of who I am. Moving back and forth between Trinidad and New York, I had challenges making friends because I was afraid to put myself out there and did not want to get rejected for being myself. I think this topic should interest others because it is very important for one to fully understand self-love first, before being able to love someone else or something else.

In my project, I plan on using sources such as articles, websites, books, magazines, etc. I also plan to research self-help theory and critiques as sources. Below are some of the sources that I plan to look and read into more for this research assignment:

I think I can focus/narrow down my topic so that it is manageable in this short-term, short (in length/time) research project by focusing on the love when it comes to self and relationships. First it would start as self-love and then love for relationships of family, friends, significant other, etc. I think the kinds of questions that I hope to address through my research are, “What makes love real or fake? Why is love important? Why do people love or fall in love? Etc.” I hope to specifically learn the key elements of love and how to really implement it fully to myself. As stated above, my approach would be self-love which focuses on how it applies to relationships in a positive and negative affect.

Even if I am exploring a commonly researched/discussed topic, I plan to bring my own perspective to bear on it with the information from the sources I gather, along with providing my own opinions and experiences, that would extinguish me from putting sources and ideas in dialogue with one another, and hopefully in producing something original. I feel like I cannot fully say how my project expand our understanding of Science Fiction (broadly conceived) in this stage at this point right now. Besides from the sources that I listed above on what I plan to use in my research assignment, I believe the further research that I would need to do to become informed about my topic would be to probably conduct interviews with family and friends. I do not really have many questions for you all as the readers/reviewers about my topic/proposal. But if I had to give one for right now of this moment, it would be, “How do you all feel about love?” I definitely would like as many feedbacks that you all can provide such as, “What more do you all think that I am missing or am I interpreting anything wrong?”

Self-Love

For this blog, we were assigned to do individual research and reading on self-help topics in preparation for our individual research project. The three sources of my own choosing consisted of three articles on the topic, “Self-Love.” The first article is titled, “In self-help, self-love world, what’s real love?” by Daniel Fusco. The second article is titled, “Why self-love is important and how to cultivate it,” by Ana Sandoiu. The third article is titled, “The Art of Self-Love,” by Alexandra Harra. I picked the topic, “Self-Love” because I felt like I could really relate to it and find a good connection from my research and reading. I also think that it would really help me because I have struggled with this on and off throughout most of my life for years.

In the article, “In self-help, self-love world, what’s real love?” by Daniel Fusco, he talked about how real self-love is spiritual. As stated in the article, “Daniel Fusco is the author of Crazy Happy, and lead pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Vancouver, Washington. His messages air weekly on the Hillsong Channel.” “Did you know you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself? In the same way, you can’t love anyone if you love yourself most.” (Fusco) This statement is something I have heard numerous times from family and friends, where I question myself on if I really understand and feel that way. “When we forget where we’ve come from, we lose the ability to meet people where they are.” (Fusco) I totally agree with this statement, because if you really do not know yourself, then how can you get to know someone else. This relates to loving yourself first, before you can love someone else.

https://www.christianpost.com/voices/in-self-help-self-love-world-whats-real-love.html

In the article, “Why self-love is important and how to cultivate it,” by Ana Sandoiu, she talks about the importance of self-love and how to really bring it to life. “As many psychology studies attest, self-love and -compassion are key for mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay.” (Sandoiu) I totally agree that self-love is a key part of one’s mental health, along with physical health. “Most of the time, when we’re being too hard on ourselves, we do it because we’re driven by a desire to excel and do everything right, all the time. This entails a lot of self-criticism, and that persecutory inner voice that constantly tells us how we could’ve done things better is a hallmark of perfectionism.” (Sandoiu) I do at times find myself being too hard on myself when it comes to doing school assignments and stressing over the little things in life.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321309

In the article, “The Art of Self-Love,” by Alexandra Harra, she talks about the art of self-love and the things you need to focus on. As stated in the article, “Alexandra Harra is a best-selling author, professional writer, relationship expert, and certified life coach. Her new book, The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships, will help you cultivate the relationships you deserve.” “Those who have it in their nature to love without limits ironically impede the pathways of self-love. The more they love another, it seems, the less they are able to love themselves.” (Harra) I totally agree this statement, and it is connected to the first article I read, “In self-help, self-love world, what’s real love?” by Daniel Fusco.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conscious-relationships_b_4677966

Powerpoint: Self-Love

My Overall Summary of City Tech’s 40th Annual Literary Arts Festival: An Evening of Community & Reflection 2021

Welcome to City Tech’s 40^th Annual Literary Arts Festival: An Evening of Community & Reflection! This New York City College of Technology tradition celebrates the talents of our students and provides a rich cultural experience for all. It was a special year, where it was the first time ever that CUNY Chancellor Dr. Felix V. Matos Rodriguez of the largest urban public system in the United States, attended the event in its 40 years history. The event started off with thanking the faculty, professors, and students, along with special guests who came together and contributed to make this event a very memorable and informative one. Most thanks to Professor Caroline Hellman, the event director and a City Tech English Professor and an author. After Professor Hellman’s introduction, a video was played of how great life was at City Tech before the pandemic, the beginning of the pandemic, to months later, which then turned to a whole year. Oh, how I miss entering the college buildings, walking down the halls to classes, chilling in the library with friends, and many more.

Then two students, Jeremiah Clemente and Frankie Lachapelle introduced themselves as senators in City Tech’s Student Government and Association, and as the event’s hosts. They then announced the goal and purpose for the event. Throughout the event, polls were presented for participants to engage in. The first poll was, “The best borough of NYC? Staten Island, Queens, Bronx, Manhattan or Brooklyn?” Staten Island 2%, Queens 11%, Bronx 6%, Manhattan 10%, and Brooklyn 70%. I totally chose Brooklyn, where I was born and raised for some time, when I was not in Trinidad. The second poll was, “What Zoom Style Are You or Which Zoom Person Are You? Checked-in (Camera on, Ready to go, Fully awake, Casual attire on) or Clocked-out (Camera off, Just woke up, Bedhead, Pajamas on)” Check-in 66% and Clocked-out 34%. I totally disagreed with that because I am totally a clocked-out person.

The event also consisted of students from City Tech. The first student speaker was Henry Mei, whose major is Career and Technical Education. He talked about being a student teacher, where he then presented a short documentary film. The second speaker was Christopher Maglorie, who graduated with a nursing degree and is a currently registered nurse. He talked about going to school and working full time, along with his experience as a frontline worker at a Brooklyn hospital during the pandemic. I totally admire his work and it is a gift that he was still here to share his story. The third student speaker was Damitreze Poe, who shared his written story about his experience with police harassment. The fourth student speaker was Jesus Rojas, whose major is Advertising and Marketing. He shared his one year later experience from pre-pandemic to present day reality.

The fifth student speaker was Dannielle Sweat who is a 30-year-old mother, part time college student and full-time hospital employee, along with majoring in Human Services. She shared her writing piece that consisted of the daily life of her job and at home from beginning of the pandemic to present day. The sixth student speaker was James Burton, whose major is Computer Systems and IT Operations. He shared his experience of his neighborhood throughout the pandemic. The seventh student speaker was Farouk Fares who majors in Architecture. He talked about his paintings that helped him to deal with his feelings of quarantine. The eighth student speaker was supposed to be Britney Bajnath but she could not make it to the event. Instead, a video of was shown of the photographs she took during the pandemic. The ninth student speaker was supposed to be Kari Singletary, but she also could not make it to the event. A video was shown where she shared her story on how she became a graduated and registered nurse, along with her experience working in the hospital during the pandemic.

There were 4 student panelists at the event. The first one was Nim Tse, who shared his story of school experience, work positions and the pandemic. The second one was Rami Saeed, who shared his story of quarantine and books. The third one was Abigail Thomas, who is a Student Government officer, a board director for the campus chapter, and the executive vice chair and member of the community collation for students with disabilities. She shared her story of being a transgender woman, non-binary woman, sexual lesbian, hear disabled, learning disabled and a victim of domestic violence. The fourth one was Mamadou Diallo, who majors in Business and Technology of Fashion. She shared his story being raised by his grandmother.

A woman named, “Mijori Goodwin” performed a song named, “Still.” I truly enjoyed her voice and the lyrics. Then the Student Government and Association president, Ngozi Okonkwo introduced herself and announced the special guest speaker, “Staceyann Chin.” She is a poet, actor, performing artist, etc. She talked about a lot of things that consisted of social media, discrimination of race and workplace, along with many more areas that was very educational. During the event, anyone was encouraged to post comments in the chat, along with asking questions at the event.

Mindfulness: Self-Help Critiques

In this reading response #8 blog, we were asked to read three articles. Firstly, I would like to say that I found these three articles to be very interesting and intriguing. They all talked about one’s mind, which relates to the meditation assignment that we are currently working on for two weeks. When I look at the word mindfulness, I think it means to focus on your mind being balance with the right amount of everything that is going on in your life. I also think that mindfulness is having complete control with your own mind to where no one or thing can dispute or destroy your process.

The first article I read was called, “The Mindful Revolution,” by Kate Pickert. It was posted on The TIME magazine official website on January 23rd, 2014 at 4:13pm EST. This article talked about different exercises that companies did to get the prefect mindfulness. As stated by Pickert, “Mindfulness says we can do better. At one level, the techniques associated with the philosophy are intended to help practitioners quiet a busy mind, becoming more aware of the present moment and less caught up in what happened earlier or what is to come. Many cognitive therapists commend it to patients as a way to help cope with anxiety and depression. More broadly, it’s seen as a means to deal with stress.” This defines the article’s definition of mindfulness. She also stated, “Though meditation is considered an essential means to achieving mindfulness, the ultimate goal is simply to give your attention fully to what you’re doing. One can work mindfully, parent mindfully and learn mindfully. One can exercise and even eat mindfully.” As I stated in my first paragraph, mindfulness is connected to meditation. The article also mentioned the meditation app call Headspace, that I am using for my meditation assignment.

The second article I read was called, “The mindfulness conspiracy,” by Ronald Purser. It was posted on The Guardian magazine official website on Friday 14th of June 2019 at 1:00pm EDT. This article mentions parts of the first article, “The Mindful Revolution,” by Kate Pickert. Purser states, “So, what exactly is this magic panacea? In 2014, Time magazine put a youthful blonde woman on its cover, blissing out above the words: “The Mindful Revolution.” The accompanying feature described a signature scene from the standardized course teaching MBSR: eating a raisin very slowly. “The ability to focus for a few minutes on a single raisin isn’t silly if the skills it requires are the keys to surviving and succeeding in the 21st century,” the author explained.” This shows that he was critiquing the article. Purser also states, “Mindfulness is nothing more than basic concentration training. Although derived from Buddhism, it has been stripped of the teachings on ethics that accompanied it, as well as the liberating aim of dissolving attachment to a false sense of self while enacting compassion for all other beings.” I some what disagree with him because I think he was displaying it in more of a negative way.

The third article I read was called, “The problem of mindfulness,” by Sahanika Ratnayake. It was posted on the Aeon website on 25^th of July 2019. As stated by Ratnayake, “Mindfulness promotes itself as value-neutral, but it is loaded with (troubling) assumptions about the self and the cosmos.” Sahanika Ratnayake is a graduate student in philosophy at the University of Cambridge. Her PhD project concerns the history and philosophy of contemporary psychotherapy. What I admire from this article was how she was able to gain a wonderful experience from said university she attended, along with changing things in her life due to difficulties. “At the end of the Cambridge study, I found myself to be calmer, more relaxed and better able to step away from any overwhelming feelings. My experience was mirrored in the research findings, which concluded that regular mindfulness meditation reduces stress levels and builds resilience.”

Class Notes: Thursday (04/08)

After taking attendance at the beginning of the class, professor noted the agenda for the day’s class. Then we moved on to a daily meditation as a class from the app call Calm. After doing the about 10-minute meditation, we were asked to do a 5-minute freewriting prompt, “How do you hold space for difficult or strong emotions?” But we defined and explained the freewriting prompt first before we individually did it.

Holding space is providing a space to allow whatever arises in your feelings to just be there and allowing it pass through you.

Then we were asked by professor to feel free to share our reflection in our freewriting, where the following students below shared, and they connected with it the “Power of Now:”

Maria – Having strong or difficult emotions is acknowledging them. Relates to “actionless activity” (Tolle 215)
Reem – There can not always be a balance of emotions or else everything will be dull. You really have to feel different emotions to know what way those emotions really mean to us, in if it is difficult or not. The way you hold space is realizing that it is part of a bigger process that makes us differentiate and accept them to pass.
Aryanna – You have to acknowledge your emotions and why you are feeling those emotions, on if it was an event or past memory that took place to cause you to feel those emotions. You are not the emotion, for it something that cause it for you to feel the way you do. Once you deal with that, then you deal with the emotion, where each time you will get better.

SAIN- Stop Acknowledge Investigate Non-Identification

We then went on to speak about the meditation assignment some more on the guidelines, instructions and how to submit it. Then we moved on to group discussions for about 20 minutes on the book, “The Power of Now.” We were placed in groups of three, with a total of 3 groups.

Group 1 consists of Aryanna, Reem and Robby.
Group 2 consists of Courtney, Niyomi and I.
Group 3 consists of Anil, Crystal and Maria.

After the group discussions, we came back together as a class and briefly spoke about the main ideas of “The Power of Now:”

observing the thinker, accepting current situation, non-judging, non-activity
Tolle pg. 228 (1)
Tolle pg. 22: addiction to thinking (compulsive thinking)
duality of everything
suffering / happiness
chapter 2: negative emotions feeding negative emotions.

NB: We will further discuss more of the main ideas in the next class.

For Next Week’s Class on Tuesday 04/13:

Read – “The Mindfulness Revolution” (Kate Pickert), “The Mindfulness Conspiracy” (Ronald Purser), and “The Problem of Mindfulness” (Sahanika Ratnayake)
Due – Reading Response #8: Mindfulness & Its Critiques (categorize as “self-help critiques”), Work on Meditation Assignment
(Optional) Extra Credit Opportunity: Literary Arts Festival (attend event & blog by start of class on Th 4/15)
Class Notes will be done by Anil.

Blog #7: Meditation

For this meditation assignment, I do not have any worries, hopes or fears. But what I do hope to get out of this is clarification, along with being calmer, relaxed and thinking more positive. I am also really curious to see the results of being committed to the daily mediations. I personally think that doing a meditation practice every day for at least 10 minutes for two weeks straight would really help me to realize some stress and tension that I have inside me. We were assigned by professor to pick any program of our choosing, but we each needed to explore at least three different apps and make an intentional choice. Therefore, I evaluated three meditation apps before making a choice to which one I will use for the two weeks.

The first mediation app that I chose to evaluate is call Calm. As stated in their official website, “Our mission is to make the world happier and healthier.” I frankly enjoyed when professor used this app in class for meditation. The Calm app consists of 6 features or elements. The first one is Meditate, where you learn the life-changing skill of meditation. The second one is Sleep, where you get more restful sleep and wake up feeling refreshed. The third one is Music, where you get exclusive music to help you focus, relax, and sleep. The fourth one is Body, where you get video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching. The fifth one is Masterclass, where you get audio programs taught by world-renowned mindfulness experts. The sixth one is Scenes, where you get nature scenes and sounds to enjoy while relaxing, sleeping, working, or studying.

https://www.calm.com/blog/about

The second mediation app that I chose to evaluate is call 10% Happier. As stated by their official website, 10% happier consists of features that focuses on the basics, stress, happiness, and sleep. As stated by The Basics, “New to meditation? Get fidgety just thinking about it? Our expert teachers will walk you through the basics, one breath at a time.” As stated by Stress, “Life can be stressful – but meditation is scientifically proven to lower your stress levels. We’ll help you stay balanced when chaos reigns.” As stated by Happiness, “It is possible to increase your capacity for joy, gratitude, and love, no magical thinking required. Our meditations will help you enjoy your life more.” As stated by Sleep, “Our sleep meditations will help you quiet your mind at the end of a long day, so you can get to sleep quickly and wake up refreshed.”

https://www.tenpercent.com/

The third mediation app that I chose to evaluated is call Headspace. As stated by their official website, “Headspace was officially launched in 2010 as an events company, but attendees wanted to take what they learned home with them. Andy, Rich, and a small team decided to make Andy’s techniques available online so more people could experience the benefits of meditation anytime, anywhere. And that blossomed into the Headspace you see today: guided meditations, animations, articles, and videos, all in the distinct Headspace style.” The website also goes on to say, “Headspace has one mission: to improve the health and happiness of the world. And with millions of users in more than 190 countries, we are well on our way. Headquartered in Santa Monica, California, we also have offices in San Francisco and London. You can try Headspace for yourself and learn the essentials of meditation and mindfulness with our free Basics course. If you enjoy it, then it is time to subscribe. Once you do, you will have bite-sized minis for when you are short on time, exercises to add extra mindfulness to your day, and hundreds of meditations on everything from stress to sleep.”

https://www.headspace.com/about-us

The meditation app that consists of guided meditation that I chose to use is Headspace. This app allows you to start a 14-day free trail before paying $5.83 per month, but the app will instead be billed annually for a total of $69.99. I also found that after reading their official website, their story was very moving and touching from the other mediation apps that I evaluated. Therefore, I decided to use this one for the assignment, where I will do one mediation every day for the two weeks and then cancel the subscription right after before it charges my card. I will try a different mediation for at least 10 minutes or more each day, where I will then keep a log of my meditation sessions and reflect the before and after by journaling. When it comes to my schedule for the daily mediations, I cannot say fully because besides doing school full time online, I work full time on the evenings. I hope to do them in the mornings before I get ready to leave for work, although I am not a morning person, or do some during my break at work. I say this because work is somewhat stressful as it is when I work 8 hours a day for 5 days out of the week, along with how I have recently started working double shifts one or two times a week.

Author: Ajah Shann