Self-care means (to me) dedicating time to do things that go beyond making one feel good to actually benefit one. Because just feeling good is not necessarily benefitting you. Example addictive substances. One’s self care may also benefit others through time. Because only when one is emotionally happy and physically healthy, one could properly take care of others ♡.
I used to think that self-care was selfish and yes at that time my self-esteem was low. My former partner made me believe that taking care of myself was selfish E.g., eating healthy, reading, doing my hair, taking naps, going to the gym, writing in my diary, having goals & dreams, etc. Moreover, I thought this was “normal” because many women in the city where I used to live; accept and promote male supremacy. So being surrounded by these short-minded women, made me believe that bowing to the “man of the house” was the “right” way to live with your spouse. I was able to escape this toxic reality because I did not have children with that man. So, I did not have to think twice when running away. Many women stay in abusive relationships because they do not have anywhere to take their children to. And many other women die in the attempt to end these toxic relationships (feminicide).
SO, SELF-CARE GOES BEYOND DOING YOGA, BUYING THINGS YOU LIKE OR SEEKING COUNSELING. IT SOMETIMES REQUIRES CHANGING THE PEOPLE WHO SURROUND YOU.
Self-care is a must and a priority in everyone’s life but if an individual is stuck only in their own self-care and does not move beyond it, one is perhaps just a selfish in disguise. Self-care is first, yes! But I find it important to also move towards caring for others as a second step.
Moreover, self-care is not a one-time fix, nor happens overnight, and there is not a one size fits all formula. It is a habit that one builds according to one’s needs and it requires constant application.