In these entries that we read, we start to see more about how d-503 is as a person. he starts to drift away from describing how the One State is to his targeted ancestors and we start to see more of his personal life. So instead of being some type of maybe journal describing the society, it is becoming more of a complex diary in which he is describing his feelings. Due to there being less information in the story and it is mores of him reflecting, the entries become harder to understand.
Much like most utopian literary works, D-503 starts to question the values he was brought up with. Quite like how Bernard does in “Brave New World”. He starts to developed for feels for I-330 and O-50. He is used to just logically taking action to things through mathematical processes. Now that he is developing these human emotions, he seems quite unsure what to do. In return he is questioning a lot of facts and practices he was brought up with. He cannot help but feel this way. This starts causing some internal conflict. “I am saddened to see, that instead of a harmonious and strict mathematical poem in honor of the One State, I am producing some sort of fantastic adventure novel” (Page 103) ” He feels that this new mental dilemma he is going through he starts to believe he is sick. This was foreshadowed earlier in the book when he acts sick to avoid I-330.
D-503 really can be getting sick. He is dealing with a lot of emotional stress at this point in the story. He is not used to feeling these emotions so he thinks he is getting sick. It also doesn’t help that the One State is making him try to disregard his human emotion. I think this will end up becoming a huge factor in the stability of his mental state later on. He believes that these new feelings that he is having are actually symptoms of his “illness” and he doesn’t actually believe that they are real.
The big factor that is causing D-503 to feel sick is his affection for I-330. Yet it is ironic how he seems to be normal and cheerful when he is around her and doesn’t feel sick at all. This is somewhat foreshadowed earlier in the novel. I-330 questions D-503 and asks if he is still sick. D-503 suddenly “remembers” that he is sick and goes to the medical office.
