Professor Belli | Fall 2022 | City Tech

Category: Assignments (Page 1 of 7)

Unit 3 Peer Review

Thank you to those of you who submitted your first drafts of the Unit 3: Writing in a New Genre assignment. Just as we did with Units 1 and 2, we’re going to use peer review to get feedback and guide revision for the final draft. Feedback on your peers’ work is due by noon (12pm) on Friday, 12/2. 

Thank you for sticking to this deadline, so that everyone has sufficient time to work on revisions over the weekend.


After reading & annotating this post, please go back to review the Unit 1 Peer Review Writing Workshop, which has important information about Peer Review (purpose, expectation, grading, Peer Review worksheet, etc.) that also applies to this and future peer review assignments. Make sure, also, to review the Unit 3 Assignment (especially the Artist Statement Guidelines), and the Unit 3 Writing Workshop (including the student work examples I provided). When reviewing your peers’ work, pay attention to the following:

  • Is the new genre piece effective for the intended audience, genre, & publication?
  • Does the new genre piece follow (apply) the conventions of the chosen genre?
  • Is the research incorporated effectively / accurately (including integration of quotations and citations)?
  • Does the Artist’s Statement have all the required components?
  • Is the work organized effectively / cohesively? Pay attention to things such as the order of paragraphs, topic sentences, transitions … reverse outline will be helpful!
  • What was your experience reading the project?
  • What did you learn? What were you confused by?

One of the best things about peer review is that as we become more skilled readers of others’ writing, we also can turn that critical eye to our on writing. So after you peer review your group members’ writing, go back and do the peer review on yourself. You’ll be amazed at the progress / revisions you can make!


Just like before, Peer Review will be happening in Perusall. I have created “Assignments” for each of the first drafts, so go to the two essays you are assigned to, and complete the work from there.

There is also a new “folder” in the Perusall Library, entitled “Student Work: Writing in a New Genre First Drafts” (look within the “Unit 3″ folder): each students who submitted work has two files there. Make sure to review & peer review both files (the new genre piece & the accompanying Artist’s Statement).

As always, you can view all submitted first drafts, but you are each only responsible for peer-reviewing two projects (see below for your assigned groups).

*Note: If you did not submit a first draft by the deadline (W 11/30 by 12pm), you will not get the benefit of peer review. However, you are still part of a peer review group, and are responsible for reading and commenting on your two assigned essays. Peer Review groups are listed below.


[Submitted Unit 3: Writing in a New Genre projects, which will be peer-reviewed]

Brandon

The following students should peer-review Brandon’s Unit 3 work:

  • Tahani
  • Logan
  • Neal
  • Jamani
  • Khandoker
  • Syed Abbas
  • McKayla
  • Aniyla
  • Zavier

Henry

The following students should peer-review Henry’s Unit 3 work:

  • Neal
  • Brandon
  • Holaly
  • Jamani
  • Destiny
  • Syed Ali
  • Sebastian
  • David
  • Jeffrey

Neal

The following students should peer-review Neal’s Unit 3 work:

  • Brandon
  • Henry
  • Holaly
  • Tahani
  • Destiny
  • Syed Ali
  • McKayla
  • Jeffrey

Tahani

The following students should peer-review Tahani’s Unit 3 work:

  • Khandoker
  • Henry
  • Brandon
  • Logan
  • Syed Abbas
  • Sebastian
  • David
  • Zavier
  • Aniyla

Know Your Mentor Text

This is a follow-up exercise to the “Know Your Publication” activity we did last week. This week’s exercise involves studying a “mentor text,” or a particular source (in a particular genre, for a particular publication) that uses a similar style that you’re working on for your Unit 3 piece.

With the “Know Your Publication” activity, you looked at publications and online forums where you might want to publish or present your work. Now, let’s look a little closer. Go back to this site (magazine, webpage, YouTube channel, etc.) and find a specific source that you like. This source should not be about your topic — that’s now what we’re looking at it for at this point. You’re just looking at what features (conventions) make this text fit this publication (and this genre!)  This can be an article, TED Talk, YouTube video, etc.

*Remember: You’re not looking for any old text. You’re looking for an article that can be published in the magazine you want your work to be published in, or a YouTube video that fits on the channel you want your video to go on, etc. This should be a source you want to emulate.


Once you find your “mentor text,” answer the following questions:

  • What tone/ type of language does this example use?
  • How does this source use research? (e.g., do they quote from outside sources, use a lot of statistics, etc.)
  • What can you tell us about this source visually (and auditorily, if applicable)? Does it use a lot of imagery and color? Is the layout very clean? Is there a soundtrack?
  • How long is it? (words, pages, minutes)
  • Who do you think is the audience of this source? What makes you think that?
  • What aspects of this source would you like to emulate in your own writing? Why? How might you do that?
  • What aspects of this source would you like to avoid in your own writing? Why? How will you do that?

Share your answers with the class by leaving them as a comment on this post by W 11/23 at 12pm (noon). Don’t forget to state, at the beginning of your comment:

  • what your topic is
  • who your intended audience is
  • what genre you’re using for Unit 3
  • what publication/forum you’ve looked at (provide a link too!)
  • the mentor text (don’t forget the link!)

progress

Progress?

Electric cars will affect and benefit the future of the world. The future of driving and commuting with vehicles may benefit or harm our daily lives. I like to drive cars and I enjoy hearing the engine, by trying to make electric vehicles mandatory there will not be that thrill of hearing engines at least for fast cars. They are trying to have modified sounds to help counter this, but it is just not the same with the smell and power behind the wheel. Electric cars are much faster at accelerating but they lack a high-top speed. I also heard that just to make batteries for these electric cars is more harmful for the environment than gas- or diesel-powered vehicles. While doing my research I feel that I will find a lot of different sides and opinions on these new fancy futuristic cars. I also think I will find information on gas prices and paying for fuel having a more economic cost, but I personally believe that it will be much more negative for electric cars because to charge your car it can take hours depending on how good chargers are and how many people are using them. Gas takes approximately two minutes to fully fill up a car and keeps the line moving smoothly. Imagine having to wait hours just to charge your car and while it is charging what are you supposed to do in the meantime it will waste so much time. Another reason is they promote the idea to charge your vehicle over night at home in your garage but not everyone has a garage most people just park on the street. Is everyone supposed to just have extension cords lying all around the streets and sidewalks. What will people do with all their gas-powered vehicles there will be so many cars that still work that people will be forced to switch into electric it will take so many years just to get rid of these cars. If I find information that what I am expected to find, I will just have to see if I agree and write about what everyone is talking about pros and cons. I will not throw all my research away I will just take it as a lesson and new information that I retained. I will write about everything both what the research says and what I personally believe is right. I will challenge myself because it makes it more interesting, and I get to learn more about this topic as well as help others on understanding the positives and negatives of electric powered vehicles versus gas powered.

My Progress into Unit 3

So far, I’ve basically only completed the road map and structured out two different introductions trying to see which one would transition better and set the tone better throughout the entire blog. I’ve been catching up on other classes, but now I have much more time to actually complete the piece. My roadmap/goals are outlined before the start of my final draft.

Henry Ren

DATE

Professor Belli

UNIT 3

Title: How Does Music Play a Role in Civil Rights Movements (Subject to change)

Goal: I will convey the idea that music has a lot more meaning than just entertainment and has played a significant role in the past and recent years through civil rights and racial injustice protests/movements in America. My target would be mainly millennials and those who don’t know the symbolism, message, and importance of music throughout society.

Introduction: I’d like to start with a brief introduction to what is music in today’s eyes and explain its importance. I will connect that to a serious event that happened in recent years such as BLM marches and the involvement of music. (end of intro)

Transition + Paragraph 1: I will transition and expand don’t the idea of how music played a role in BLM marches using Kendrick Lamar’s song, Alright, and People’s Magazine Publification. I will specify a main point within the beginning of the paragraph.

Quotables:

Q1: “The result was the grammy-award-winning album To Pimp a Butterfly, and his “unapologetic” song “Alright” that would quickly transform into a protest anthem.”I really agree with this quote and how the song was “unapologetic.” The song was later quoted as a “middle finger” by Moore and how that was what they needed. I like that because it really shows how influential this song alone was and how it became an anthem for Black Lives Matter.

Q2: ” “You have these two different elements colliding at the same time. You have soul music, which is Black music. And you have very aggressive rap lyrics as well,” he continues. “That’s what I meant when I [wrote in the book], ‘It was a middle finger to the man.’ Because it was. It was unapologetic. And I think that’s what we needed at the time.” ” Here, Moore states that it was unapologetic and what they needed. The “Black music” refers to Lamar’s iconic way of rapping over vocal pads and gospel-like music, representing the soul of Black Americans. The “unapologetic”/”middle finger” refers to how the song tackles the issue and tells them that regardless of their situation, they’ll be alright.

Supporting Details: I will convey a complete analysis of the author’s work and my thoughts to provide evidence to my claim.

Source : Gillette, Sam. “How Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Alright’ Became the Protest Song of the BLM Movement.” Peoplemag, PEOPLE, 22 Oct. 2020, https://people.com/music/how-kendrick-lamar-alright-became-the-protest-song-of-the-black-lives-matter-movement/

Transition + P2: In my second paragraph, I will use Aloe Blacc’s 2016 TEDxTalks. I will provide his credibility, a quick summary of his speech, and the main point.

Quotables: (I will limit myself to only 2 since these are lengthy.) (Quotes are subject to change, these are just the ones I written in my annotated sources since they caught my eye)

Q1)”When Marvin Gaye stood his ground he believed so much in his message that he knew that these words needed to get out he knew that he could say through song what so many other people felt. He said, “I’m not a poet, I’m not a painter, but I can do it with music.”

Q2)”I wanted to use the music video to discuss immigration to humanize immigrants because the story is so near and dear to my heart being the son of immigrants. So in the video, I depict the migration of the family from Mexico to Los Angeles and the lead character in this music video is a girl named Hareth. In real life, Hareth is a dreamer. A dreamer as a student who is going to school in the US, but is undocumented and she is granted the right to continue her school. And also in real life, Hareth’s father is an undocumented worker who was going through a deportation hearing. Luckily and thankfully, after the release of the music video, Hareth’s father was able to stay in the United States. His case was closed.”

Q3)”Marvin Gaye inspired me to make music with a message and my purpose as a songwriter is to make positive social change and that can either be through the lyrics that I write, songs that I sing, or publicly sponsoring or supporting the issues that I think are important.”

Supporting Details: I will convey a complete analysis of the author’s work and my thoughts to provide evidence for my claim.

Source: Blacc, Aloe. “How ‘Message Music’ Inspires Social Change | Aloe Blacc | TEDxWestBrowardHigh.” YouTube, TEDxTalks, 19 Apr. 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2mpE6Nwh2g&t=732s

Transition + Paragraph 3: I will quickly introduce Greg Tate (Music journalist) and his importance and credibility in the music industry as long as his influence. I will quickly summarize his speech and provide the main point.

Q1) “Cooke had been chastened to rein in his Harlem-style full-tilt boogie by an earlier Copa performance that prompted a chilly response from the predominantly non-black audience. When Cooke went in to record A Change, he had already bent and yoked himself into acceptable form for those Americans not acculturated to the fire-and-brimstone emotionality of black Pentecostalism and uptown R&B. His intentions with Change could not have been more apposite and carried none of the self-neutering baggage of his Copa crossover.”
Q2) “Nevertheless, the after-life of the composition in the African-American protest hymnal canon finds it still essential and indelible. In the Smithsonian National Museum of African History and Culture, which opened in 2016, there is a space for reflection designated as the ‘Contemplative Court’, where A Change Is Gonna Come is inscribed on the walls, looming like an everlasting mantra for meditation”

Q3) “Sam Cooke never got to bear witness to his song A Change Is Gonna Come becoming the unofficial anthem of the civil rights movement. Or how its prophetic lamentations would reverberate across the decades to become a rallying cry for Barack Obama, and Beyoncé, well into the 21st Century.”

Supporting Details: I will convey a complete analysis of the author’s work and my thoughts to provide evidence for my claim.

Source: Tate, Greg. “A Change Is Gonna Come: One of Soul’s Greatest Songs.” BBC Culture, BBC, 14 Oct. 2020, https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20201013-a-change-is-gonna-come-one-of-souls-greatest-songs#:~:text=Sam%20Cooke%20never%20got%20to,well%20into%20the%2021st%20Century.

Conclusion: I haven’t really mapped out the conclusion yet. I wanted to stick to a similar conclusion to my RAB unit 2 assignment, but I also want it to be less lengthy. I was thinking of ending with a quote by someone recognizable by anyone.

The main points in my conclusion will be: What I wanted to achieve, what I achieved, what I learned, and my personal thought about the topic at the end and who I want to pick this up.

Progress for informative speech on queer mental health

I have an outline that I am using to plan my speech, It can be easily filled using the information I already have from our unit two assignment. I am still deciding on the delivery method of the speech, If I am to write it out that would be in another document but if I am to voice record my speech that can be straight from my outline and I would upload the speech.

Informative Speech Outline (Change this to your title)

Name: Neal Ross
Date: 

General Purpose: To inform 

Specific Purpose: To inform the audience on the effects parents have on their LGBTQ+ kids. 

 For my informative speech I would like to choose the topic of mental health in queer youth. My specific purpose is to inform the audience on the effects parents have on their LGBTQ+ kids mental health. I would be able to relate this to topic myself and use first-hand accounts from others, as well as found sources. 

My central idea will reflect on acceptance, or lack thereof, for queer identity from parents and how it directly effects mental health potentially leading to self-harming behaviors. I will be focusing my speech on cause and effect order, starting with acceptance from families, then moving to how mental health has been effected. 

Thesis:

Organizational Arrangement: Cause and effect

Introduction: 

Gain audience’s attention: 

Establish credibility: 

IV. Preview the body: “In this speech I will talk about:” 

1. 
2.  
3. 

Transition: 

Main point 1: 

  • Supporting Point 
  • Supporting Point

Main point 2:

  • Supporting Point 
  • Supporting Point 

Main point 3: 

  • Supporting Point 
  • Supporting Point 

Transition: 

Conclusion 

I. Summarize main points: “Today I have told you about:” 

1.

2.

3.

Restate thesis:

End with “clincher”

Works Cited

The Speech of Robots: My progress so far.

I have written my progress in a word doc as it makes it easier for me to edit and rewrite my informative speech the way I feel needed. I have inserted a visual from the mammoth .docx converter of my current outline and plans for the project and how I feel about the way it’s going.

Brandon Rivera 11/14/22

The Speech of Robots: Progress and Plan/Outline

Goals, Plans, and Expectation:

My goal for this project is to write a well-developed informative speech for younger generations in order to see how robots can affect our future in the work field. I have written my outline here in a Word doc as it makes it easier for me to edit and write my thoughts out. I overall feel very confident I can give a well-developed speech by the deadline with all the information needed. I do think having the information that does not bore my reader will be difficult, but I know that I can find a way to either shorten it or find something else that fits with the topic. As this is also a new genre that I am writing in I am getting used to something outside my comfort zone.

Intro: Introduce topic , I have my introduction about fully done. I want to incorporate a story when I was a child.

Example: But as I grew older, I have come to the realization that robots are becoming not only better than humans but also adapting far quicker than us. Or are they? Robots without a doubt are becoming something that we might have to worry about in the future. It is stated by many experts that indeed it is something to worry about. “When will robots take our jobs?” by Captain, Sean he mentions “A 2020 World Economic Forum report predicted that robotics and automation would displace 85 million jobs globally in the coming five years” This is important to keep in mind because 5 years may seem like a while to go but in terms of development of robots it has just enough time to gather enough data to roll out generation 1 of a robot project. Also, a blog from unknown author from the company Saviom mentions “Even if the change is not imminent right now, industry experts such as Fortune have stated that “robots will replace 40% of jobs in the next 15 years”….

Paragraph 1: Importance of why losing 40% jobs is bad for us and what robots are capable of doing.

Example: But as I grew older, I have come to the realization that robots are becoming not only better than humans but also adapting far quicker than us. Or are they? Robots without a doubt are becoming something that we might have to worry about in the future. It is stated by many experts that indeed it is something to worry about. “When will robots take our jobs?” by Captain, Sean he mentions “A 2020 World Economic Forum report predicted that robotics and automation would displace 85 million jobs globally in the coming five years”…

Paragraph 2: As of now I do not have much written down for this sections of the speech. I want to mention and write how robots look facially like us and why they show programmed emotion. I will start paragraph 2 as follows:

Example: Something to consider about these robots is their striking similarity to us humans and their face structure…

Paragraph 3: Nothing as of now.

Conclusion: I want to write my reasoning behind why I even started with this speech. I want to include my personal feelings about robots and why I think our future generation needs to prevent jobs from being taken away.

Example: In order to wrap things up here the main reason this speech is brought to you is mainly because of Elon Musk and his most recent AI day event. He revealed his Tesla bot in which he specifically mentioned how its main purpose was to design a robot to target boring, tedious tasks.

Know Your Publication

We’ve spent a while now thinking about who needs to hear your research (the ideal audience) and the best genre to present that research. Now we’re going to layer on, with an activity that will help you to identify places your writing could be published (or posted).

There are a whole range of different publication sites (e.g., an online magazine, like Teen Vogue, a forum like TED Talks, or The New York Times “Opinion” section). Take some time to explore possible publication forums for your particular genre piece (paying particular attention to the rhetorical situation, such as your intent / purpose, audience, message, etc). Then identify one particular publication forum you think is ideal for your Unit 3 piece.

Your goal, as always, is to be intentional & specific — target your efforts for particular project. If you’re writing a short story, look at a collection of short stories. If you’re writing an article for an online magazine, consider your audience and think about which is best and why (e.g., Teen Vogue is not the same as The Atlantic). If you’re writing an OpEd, look for the OpEd section of a major newspaper (such as The New York Times). If you’re making a YouTube video, look at a particular channel that produces similar content and reaches a similar audience. And so on.

*If you have a particular genre you want to write in, but you haven’t been able to find a forum where it would be published or posted, don’t immediately switch genres! Talk to me first &/or ask your classmates for help … I’m sure we can find something.


On your own, answer the following “Know Your Publication” questions for that publication or forum.

Know Your Publication Questions:

  • What kinds of articles/ stories/ media (and ads and videos for that matter!) are on that site?
  • What does that tell you about who they think their audience is? How do you draw that conclusion?
  • How long are the pieces usually? (pages, words, minutes)
  • What is the tone, usually? (e.g., funny, serious, casual)
  • What kind of diction is usually used? (e.g., casual, formal, academic)
  • How do they usually use evidence / support (such as data, quotations, interviews)?
  • What can you tell us about their visual presentation? Is it all black and white text? Video with lots of graphics? A mix? Something else altogether?
  • Do you think this would be a good publication or forum to reach your intended audience? Why or why not?

Share your answers with the class by leaving a comment on this post by 12pm (noon) on Friday, 11/18.

Make sure to include, at the beginning of your comment:

1) what your topic is
2) who your audience is
3) what your genre is
4) what publication/forum you’ve looked at (don’t forget to cite/link to it!)

Thanks all! Together we’ll review & discuss your content in this Class Discussion at the end of the week … can’t wait to see what you come up with here 🙂

Progress + plan

So this is what i have so far. its basically just two stanzas and its a really rough first draft. My goal is to have an interesting but informative poem. This is just a start even though im not really sure if this is a good start, just because i had a hard time really understanding the assignment. im going to start typing on my computer soon. i just wanna hand write it first in order to get in right when im typing.

Proposal

Logan Aloise

Professor belli

Proposal

11/11/2022

I want to make sure my audience is aware about the hazards of electric cars and the benefits they provide for the environment. I also want people to know that this is still in the making and a new idea that is going to be a big impact for our future. The audience I am trying to teach is anyone with a driver’s license and that knows something about electric cars. I am planning to write in non-fiction because there is a lot of information regarding modern day cars and vehicles. I plan to get started by having good points and information to support any questions a reader may have or may want to know. I would be worried about the people that are not interested into cars and do not care to learn more about them and how they can better or worse our planet. My concerns would be not completing it correctly along with the correct format and layout. overall, I want to make sure I am doing the assignment correctly so I can get a good grade. Also making sure I can keep it entertaining to the reader and make them want to know more and be curious and ask questions.

Grant proposal, Grant For Extended Research

There has been very limited reach on what is causing the difference in mental health issues between the LGBTQ+ community and their cis gender heterosexual peers. It is imperative that we create an understanding of why this is happening and discover solutions so this cycle ceases to c continue. I am attempting to reach people who can fund research in this area to create a better understanding of the causes of the mental health disparities and support research as to ways this can stopped. I plan to get started by appealing to their pathos, making them feel an emotional connection to the cause invoking them to want to support the cause. I am going to need to learn how to formulate a proposal as I do not know what goes into one as of yet. I will most likely need to include statistics and accounts that I uses in my annotated bibliography to demonstrate a need. One concern I have is that I don’t know what a grant proposal really is or what goes into it, do I need a specific research project for them to contribute to, I don’t. Should I plan a speech instead of a proposal encouraging people to donate a provide specific organizations in which they can contribute to in order to further this research.

 

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