Lying Part four

Finally Lauren reaches out to get help.  I was actually happy for the narrator Lauren as towards the end she became more of herself.  She sort of embraced the fact of who she was.  Because Lauren went to the AA group of alcoholics she helps me as the reader understand that her illness was much more than an illness. It was definitely a comparison to what everyday people go through whether or not it’s a disease just like stated “everyone in AA was battling against this disease of alcoholism as I, too, had battled against the disease o epilepsy”   . As the narrator starts off chapter eight she starts off with “I was born from nothing and to nothing I will return.” (169). As I states before I believe this is just her coming to terms that who she is what she will always be.

As I finished the book it basically left me with the terms of Lauren epilepsy being the definition of her wanting to gain attention. Whether she received the attention and then losing it, it was what caused her everyday trouble.

When Lauren visit the psychologist and he told her that the paper  was a lie (176) “this, he said, this paper , he said , is not real”  brought to my attention that it was one of her  routines of where she thought she could once again gain attention from but it failed her. The book in my opinion was about her trying to get attention because of the fact she lacked it from the people who meant the most to her.

Lying Part 2

This part of the story was actually more interesting. I began to understand more of the reason behind Lauren illness which is her Mother. As you read part two of this section you see that the narrator in the beginning shows a connection between her and the father. Even thought it was just a brief moment you can still sense that it meant a lot because she states “And i felt comfort come from a place where i had never even sought it, not from my mother, but from this man, who that morning made me breakfast.”(39)  With the feeling of being strangers to one another she still was able to connect with him at least in that moment.

Another part that stuck out to me was when Lauren and her mother went to visit the Dr. Swan and she brought up that every child has stressors. Not fully understanding what might be the real problem behind her illness into later on. what was really stressing Lauren out or holding her back was her mother, which Lauren already knew.  Lauren says “and even hundreds of miles away, it was her huge hand that held me up” (50) referring to her mother as “she” is the one who is holding her, and is unable to be free. then late on you see Lauren then breaking away which she states is betraying “I learned to buckle my knee and let myself loose,slipping southward, away from her, betraying her, yes i did it, all my muscles slack.” (52)

Lying First Part

As I read the first part of Lying I automatic come to terms that something is definitely wrong with the narrator. The narrator makes us as  the reader believe she has this thing called epilepsy which causes her to have all these other symptoms such as smelling like jasmine. She then states “My world, though, was the jasmine world and I told no one about it” (5). Simply letting me know as the reader this so called thing she had was all made up, so why would she tell anyone.  With the title being Lying it made it much easier to believe she was lying and she would continue too. But that was just my oppression from reading just a couple of pages.

 “That was not my story then, and it is not my story now, although it is the right story, the true story, not my mother but matter more basic still; or is it?”(13) I don’t really understand what she was trying to say but she makes it clear that what we was reading was definitely the truth but it wasn’t her story.  But then again she starts the next paragraph stating “Here’s what was true”.  Just making the audience confused. I hope I don’t have to determine throughout the book whether the narrator is reliable or not.

Lolita 143-247

H.H is all over the place so far. The second part of the story starts off with him and Lolita traveling the states. But as they are traveling things starts to unfold with Lolita I would say.  H.H is constantly feeling some way when Lolita wants to interact with other people such as when she wanted to pick up hitch hikers (159) and when he let her go to the rink my guess which is a park (160). I feel this is just Lolita simply growing up and wanting to feel apart of society such as H.H standing alone.

Not to just focus on the beginning of part 2 H.H begins to threaten or should I say bully Lolita. I realize he more focused on being caught that he goes the extra mile of threatening her with reform school (150-151) “…will be given a choice of various dwelling places, all more or less the same, the correctional school, the reformatory, the juvenile detention…”  But he doesn’t just bully Lolita he also is corrupting her values, Making her feel that their actions are good when indeed there wrong. 

When they move into their house H.H controls every little thing that Lolita does. Which I feel is going to make Lolita go insane literally. As Lolita starts to make demands I feel it’s just a reflection of what H.H created. He Even feels the need to go into her room and take back what he has given her (the money) because he fear she will leave with the money she saves.  

Lolita 97-147

This section we had to read was actually pretty good. Lolita is definitely something else. As Humbert picked up Lolita from camp (111) I was actually taken back a little bit on how Lolita came off to Humbert. I forgot how old she actually was. (112) ” I did not. Fact I’ve been revolting unfaithful to you ,but it does not matter one bit. Because you’ve stopped caring for me,anyway….” Shows that Lolita has definitely mature in a certain aspect of expressing how she feels but more as adult which is crazy to me. Then later on she say (114) ” wouldn’t mother be absolutely mad if she found out we were lovers?” Okay it was weird enough when she called him dad in the being but then she comes to terms with calling the Relationship between one another as lovers.

She then comes off as “been there, done that ” type of vibe. What would be a great example  is in chapter  29  when she wakes up and gives him a kiss. It was a shock to HH as well because he says “to my delirious embarrassment ”  I believe theirs something going on with Lolita  that we don’t no about ,  because how could a innocent  child turn into such a seductive adult at the tender age 12.  The pages we read today I would definitely say that Lolita has actually gain role of being the leader. Humbert den states “it was she who seduced me.” (132)

 

 

 

 

 

Lolita 34-97

The book is actually becoming more and more interesting. I love how Lolita was introduce and how H.H change the scene into a journal in chapter 11. When H.H starts his journal it gives me much more Imagery . Such as when he goes to describe his Lo , he says “there my beauty lay down on her stomach showing me, showing the thousand eyes wide open in my blood, her slightly raised shoulder blades…….the incurvation of her spine, and the swelling of her tense narrow nates clothed in black” i picture a little girl obviously laying down with a little curved body especially going inward since he said incurvation with a black cloth. H.H using such information to describe certain thing just makes me feel more apart of the story.

Of course another thing about the chapters we had to read was when H.H was describing his first interaction with Lolita on page 57 chapter 13. He tells us how he wants the readers to very much participate with him as he describe his next scene. He even jumps into 3rd person format . what stuck out to me was when he called himself beast and called Lolita beauty. which instantly game me the thought of him being rough. “I felt proud of myself. i had stolen the honey of a spasm without impairing the morals of a minor.” ( 62)  Just a little bit i found that  disturbing for the simple fact he felt something between him and  lolita when in her mind she thought nothing of it.

Lolita

Lolita is definitely an interesting book that I wish we didn’t have to read lol. From the few pages we had to read I could say the book isn’t too bad. In the beginning the book the narrator shares with us that he sharing his stories with a jury and him also admit that his murder. I like the part when he starts reminiscing about how he grew up in Paris. When Annabel comes into the story I feel like they are very much in line with one another. But even when he talked about her Lolita name still seem to appear. Later in chapter 5 the narrator then starts to talks about nymphet. Meaning the type of girls he is attracted to which between the ages of nine and four. As I kept reading the thought of what if his mother never died would this grown man still having these feelings towards adolescence. If he would have grown up with the proper care and love would he still be the way he is now.

As the narrator who I now know name is Humbert continues, he reveals how he got married which was something I didn’t expect and didn’t like. The mind state the he was in he had no business getting married. When his wife confesses to having an affair it was definitely karma. But he then begins to show his anger, in which he wanted to kill her because of this act that she committed. the story plot is very good in my opinion but the text itself is horrible which gives me a harder time to understand.

The Ones Who Walked Away from Omelas

When I first began reading I was a little bit confused as usual. I didn’t understand if the narrator was trying to persuade us that the people who lived in the city Omelas were happy or pretending to be happy. My first thought was that because the 12th line the narrator says “If you can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em”.  Instantly giving me a thought that whatever the story was about their definitely be somebody or people afraid to stand up for was right. Not wanting to make a judgment off of a couple of lines, as I fully got into the reading I started to understand more and more. The story actually made me feel a little sadden for the young child. The part that stuck out to me in this story would definitely have to be how the citizens believe that they happiness truly cames from keeping this young child in this basement.  The narrators say “Some of them understand why, and some do not, but they all understand that their happiness, the beauty of their city, the tenderness of their friendships, the health of their children, the wisdom of their scholars, the skill of their maker even the abundance of their harvest and the kindly weather of their skies, depend wholly on this child’s abominable misery.” page 5. Even though there were people who didn’t understand they still didn’t question their behavior.  Why? Because they truly believe that their happiness came from the misery of this young child. And the fact that the narrator is constantly calling this young boy a “It” it really bother me. Giving me the impression that they looked down on the child as if he was less than a human being.

But at the end the story took a change, showing that there were people who lived there that had hearts. “They leave Omelas, they walk ahead into the darkness and they do not come back” last page. Not knowing where they are going they simply don’t care because in their mind anything is better than what they use to call there city “Omelas”.

the Yellow Wallpaper (1899)

While reading this story I was definitely confused. In the beginning I understood that the narrator was sick and her husband was taking care of her. They were also renting a little home until they home got completely finish. But then when she was put into the old nursery or should I say the slammer I wasn’t sure if was for her benefits meaning to help her get “better” or for her husband benefits. Not completely understanding the text I thought John just wanted to control his wife. It seemed to me that the narrator believed whatever her husband said and that whatever decision he made it was only for the best for her and to help her get better. In the beginning of the text page 2 she says “He is very careful and loving and hardly let me stir without special direction” After reading that my instant thought was everything she must do she has to go to her husband to get his approval. After reading a couple more pages I was then stopped when I notice that the narrator spoke up for self and expressed what she wanted to do. As stated at the ending of page 4 beginning of page 5 she says ” I tried to have a real earnest reasonable talk with him the other day, and tell him how I wish he  would let me go and make a visit to cousin Henry and Julia”. But as I kept reading she was eventually shot down and just like the beginning her opinion didn’t matter. I’m not sure if the message was to point out that John was a controlling husband or should I say a “Mr. know it all” but that’s what definitely stuck out to me.

The Story of an Hour

While reading all the stories this one stuck out to me. The Story of an Hour I immediately recognized it. I actually had to read it last semester in my previous class. When I first read it I had a hard time understanding it. Just thinking that Louise died because she had a heart disease was very typical. But as I read it over and over I began to understand more.  The story is taking place in the late 1800’s where women were definitely the underdog in the marriage. The husbands were the one with the power and made all the decisions. Louise having to come to an understanding that her husband had died she quickly turns that grief in to joy. Recognizing that she is now free and that she can make her own decisions was literally taking from her within an hour. So when it says “Joy that kills” Louise joy was really killed sending her left to die.