“I am toying with you, yes, but for a real reason. I am asking you to enter confusion with me, to give up the ground with me, because sometimes that frightening floaty place is really the truest of of all” (163) I feel like this what that the author was trying to convey through section three. She wanted us to feel the same confusion that she was feeling. This whole section to me felt like a very long, intimate, and disconnected section. We no longer see the attachment with her mother since she is hardly mentioned in this section. However, we see her striving for the love and attention of another. It’s like the narrator is trying to feel a void and emptiness inside of her. Through trying to pursue this “love” that she felt for Christopher she became convulsive. In her attitude and in her writing.
I felt a lot of confusion in this part. Not because i didn’t understand the text, but because I truly felt what the narrator was experiencing and going through. she doesn’t have any rea friends and she doesn’t have her mother or her father around, shes just going on with life. It all felt king of like a haze to me as I read. Which all lead to the confusion. Where is her mother? Why does she feel so careless? and what is with her obsession of pleasing and getting the approval on this older man. It also felt very wrong to read about their relationship since she was so young and he not so much. (reminded me of Lolita.)
“…but you will break ranks. Mark my words. You’ll break literary ranks” (124) Christopher tells this to Jean Lauren and I felt like it became true. The author really does break literary ranks when she publish Lying. Here we have a novel that might fall in between fiction and non-fiction, a novel that uses a metaphorical memoir to convey what she actually feels inside. I feel like whether the a actual events are true or not do not matter. What matters is what a specific person experienced in a specif moment, it might not match reality. However because the person experienced it, it has some truth behind it.
“I have neither Munchausen’s nor epilepsy….fell in love with tall tales” (161) I felt like this one section right here felt like the truth as appose to the other possibilities the author laid out. I just think its so interesting how she acknowledges the fact that she is writing Lying through out the novel. How she can differentiate herself as a narrator. but at the same time create a connection between the narration and the author. “I talked about wanting to someday write a whole book about my epilepsy and my surgery, a book called Lying” (119) Here she connected the narrator from the story line with the author. However, this novel trully is not about her epilepsy or her lying, even though that what she talks the most about. The lying and epilepsy is her way of conveying her real message. One which im still trying to figure out.
Lol I also felt while reading this that I was looking at Lolita, this is what she must of felt while being with Humbert. its kind of refreshing to get a girls point of view during the sexual relationship Lauren had with Christopher. I don’t think she loved him either.