Happiness, to me, is being able to know what I want in life and actually doing the things necessary to get me there. Giving and receiving support from those closest to me. Showing the ones that I have around me know how much I appreciate them. Finding something to smile or laugh about even in my toughest situations. Allowing myself to have the confidence to not let another person’s judgement effect who I am or what I want to do. Most of all, my greatest happiness comes from my daughter. I love her more than anything and everything that I am now or am doing are all for her. Being able to give her what I had and more is my job as her mom. I’ve changed from who I once was and I thank her for that. Knowing that she is happy, makes me happy.
[Revision for 9/10]
To be happy, you must first know what are the things that can give you that feeling. Also knowing what you must do for yourself to make what you want happen. Personally, my wants and needs are all the same. I want for the things that I need.
I know that going to school will better my chances to provide for myself and my family. I decided to enroll into City Tech because I was going to the Suny BEOC for the Medical Assistant program and I realized that being there was not really what I wanted. Becoming a Psychologist has always been a dream of mine. So, I decided that it was time to go to a real college and become what I really want to be. Being in Human Services is the first step for me to achieve my dream.
Having a great support can help anyone stay focus and accomplish what ever they set out to do. I have other siblings, two brothers, but my sister is my support system. She is my best friend. Which sometimes we both wonder how that is now when before we weren’t. I figure because she is five years younger than me. I was a teenager when she was still in elementary school but as she got older, we started to click. Now, we are inseparable. She knows what to say or do to make feel better. When I’m trying to stay positive but something just turned my mood and she always says to me, “Dude, just stay positive, do what you have to, and get your own shit!” Lol, excuse her french. She understands me to the point where I don’t even have to say anything and she KNOWS how I’m feeling. And everything that she does for me, I do for her. She makes me happy even when I don’t want to be.
Since I was young, like most people, what people think can stop you or keep you going. As I got older, especially after having my daughter, my whole confidence in myself had changed. I realized that people are going to think what they want but you still have to remain being you. And just because people may have a problem with how you are doesn’t mean you should change unless it is hurting another person or yourself. I love laughing and joking around because I hate feeling sad. Some of my own family members tend to judge me on that but you either act stupid with me or you don’t. I don’t care. As long as the people that I want around me are laughing and having fun, that’s all that matters.
After having a child, my whole world changed. I was afraid of everything when before I felt so carefree. I felt like I had all the time in the world and now I feel like I’ve delayed myself on a lot of things, like school for example. How I thought my life would be when I did have a child, after having one showed me that things are not always going to go the way you want. Especially if you have a child with someone who still wants to be a child. So I decided that whatever I do for my child would be by my doings and not expecting or depending on anyone else. I want to give my daughter a comfortable stable lifestyle that, finding out as I got older, I didn’t have. I don’t want for her to move from place to place, different schools every time. I want, no… I need for her to have ONE home that she can grow up in. I want to not only provide but to also be there for her. I want her to look at me and what I do as inspiration for who she wants to be as a person and, hopefully, a mother. I have gone through struggle, still am, but I won’t stop doing what I need to no matter the circumstances. Her happiness is my happiness.
My vision of happiness is basically everything that I’ve written, so far. I’m never really satisfied and I know that once I am able to accomplish one goal, there will be others to follow. But in doing so, I will have a smile on my face, love in my heart, and knowledge to get me further.