When I am asked about what I vision as my happiness, I see love. I see love between a mother and daughter, a family, bestfriends, a spouse, self love. I think that love is a beautiful thing that everyone should expirence; whether it be from a family memeber or a bestfriend, a boyfriend/girlfriend or even from themselves.

I think that feeling that you get inside from knowing that someone cares for you can bring you more joy than anything else in this world. But if you do not have that then the love that you have for yourself may subside. If I did not have the love of my family or close friends I don’t know where I would be. When the going gets tough I know that I have people there for me that I can relay on and vent to about my feelings.

I think that although there is good and bad in the world it would be a dark place if there were no love in it to help people get through those hard times. For example over this past year I struggled a lot with personal and family issues, but the love of the people around me is what kept me going even when I wanted to give up. All of that love is what brought me to a better happier place.

Happiness to me is being surrounded by people who love you as much as you love them, enjoying their company, and doing the things you love to do with them. Also, being able to have a smile on your face everyday, and just enjoying life to the fullest. Two of the main things that make me happy are being able to achieve all my goals and having positive influences around me.

Some other things that make me happy are playing volleyball, shopping, having family meetings with lots of food present :D, my phone, my macbook, music and simple things like that (:

[Revision for 9/10]

Now that I have to explain myself even more about what makes me happy, or what happiness means to me, I’ve come to a conclusion of what really does. My accomplishments in life make me the happiest. A specific goal that I recently accomplished was being able to graduate high school on time, as a 16-year-old. I did not get to walk the stage in what was supposed to be my graduation this past June. Why? because I decided not to attend regents prep after school for the Living Environment regent that I took in June, and failed it. I was so upset and disappointed because I had 54 credits, number 8 in my class ranking. Only reason why I didn’t get to graduate was because of the 59 I got on it in June. I then had to attend regents prep during the summer, which I hated but had to do it to be able to pass the regent in August, and get my High School diploma.

I attended regents prep Monday-Thrusday from 8:30 a.m to 10:30 a.m, and then go to work until 4 PM. When I got home everyday I used to study and review that day’s notes. I used to do that for about 30 minutes, and then get on regentsprep.org to do some test related questions. My main goal at that time was to remember the material I was studying and have the confidence that I was going to pass the test.

I passed the regent with a 69 in August. My goal was now accomplished. I felt so relieved because I really thought I was going to get traumatized if I had to go back to school in September (tomorrow), just to try to pass it in January 2014. I didn’t get the best grade on it but at least I passed it. Sometimes the easiest thing can become the hardest for me. Science isn’t my best subject. I know I’m still really young and that I would’ve had all the time in the world to start college later on, but I set my mind to passing that test and I did it. That accomplishment has made me extremely happy. I was able to start college on time, as a 16-year-old, which doesn’t happen often.

Happiness, to me, is being able to know what I want in life and actually doing the things necessary to get me there.  Giving and receiving support from those closest to me.  Showing the ones that I have around me know how much I appreciate them.  Finding something to smile or laugh about even in my toughest situations.  Allowing myself to have the confidence to not let another person’s judgement effect who I am or what I want to do.  Most of all, my greatest happiness comes from my daughter.  I love her more than anything and everything that I am now or am doing are all for her.  Being able to give her what I had and more is my job as her mom.  I’ve changed from who I once was and I thank her for that.  Knowing that she is happy, makes me happy.

[Revision for 9/10]

To be happy, you must first know what are the things that can give you that feeling.  Also knowing what you must do for yourself to make what you want happen.  Personally, my wants and needs are all the same.  I want for the things that I need.

I know that going to school will better my chances to provide for myself and my family.  I decided to enroll into City Tech because I was going to the Suny BEOC for the Medical Assistant program and I realized that being there was not really what I wanted.  Becoming a Psychologist has always been a dream of mine.  So, I decided that it was time to go to a real college and become what I really want to be.  Being in Human Services is the first step for me to achieve my dream.

Having a great support can help anyone stay focus and accomplish what ever they set out to do.  I have other siblings, two brothers, but my sister is my support system.  She is my best friend.  Which sometimes we both wonder how that is now when before we weren’t.  I figure because she is five years younger than me.  I was a teenager when she was still in elementary school but as she got older, we started to click.  Now, we are inseparable.  She knows what to say or do to make feel better.  When I’m trying to stay positive but something just turned my mood and she always says to me, “Dude, just stay positive, do what you have to, and get your own shit!”  Lol, excuse her french.  She understands me to the point where I don’t even have to say anything and she KNOWS how I’m feeling.  And everything that she does for me, I do for her.  She makes me happy even when I don’t want to be.

Since I was young, like most people, what people think can stop you or keep you going.  As I got older, especially after having my daughter, my whole confidence in myself had changed.  I realized that people are going to think what they want but you still have to remain being you.  And just because people may have a problem with how you are doesn’t mean you should change unless it is hurting another person or yourself.  I love laughing and joking around because I hate feeling sad.  Some of my own family members tend to judge me on that but you either act stupid with me or you don’t.  I don’t care.  As long as the people that I want around me are laughing and having fun, that’s all that matters.

After having a child, my whole world changed.  I was afraid of everything when before I felt so carefree.  I felt like I had all the time in the world and now I feel like I’ve delayed myself on a lot of things, like school for example.  How I thought my life would be when I did have a child, after having one showed me that things are not always going to go the way you want.  Especially if you have a child with someone who still wants to be a child.  So I decided that whatever I do for my child would be by my doings and not expecting or depending on anyone else.  I want to give my daughter a comfortable stable lifestyle that, finding out as I got older, I didn’t have.  I don’t want for her to move from place to place, different schools every time.  I want, no…  I need for her to have ONE home that she can grow up in.  I want to not only provide but to also be there for her.  I want her to look at me and what I do as inspiration for who she wants to be as a person and, hopefully, a mother.   I have gone through struggle, still am, but I won’t stop doing what I need to no matter the circumstances.  Her happiness is my happiness.

My vision of happiness is basically everything that I’ve written, so far.  I’m never really satisfied and I know that once I am able to accomplish one goal, there will be others to follow.  But in doing so, I will have a smile on my face, love in my heart, and knowledge to get me further.

The definition of happiness is the state of being happy. But what is the state of being happy?

To me being happy means, doing what makes you feel good as a person. Doing what you want to do and what you feel is right. What makes me happy is playing volleyball and being on the court. Volleyball is probably my one and only talent and it makes me feel good to play. Also, just living life and being with my family and the people that love me makes me happy.

[Revised]

I said before that happiness means being with your family and friends. But in reality, friends will take you and not bring you back and honestly in my opinion family is the same. Family are just friends with a higher title. Therefore, family and friends do not make me happy. I don’t exactly know what makes me happy. I don’t know what specifically in life makes me happy. But if I could choose off the top of my head what I think makes me happy, it would probably be volleyball and just being alive and waking up to see another day. Volleyball is probably the one thing that keeps me going when I’m bored or when I don’t want to do anything else. Whether its on a court in a serious game or if its just me playing around in front my house, the game itself keeps me going. Also, waking up to see another day is a blessing with all the crime and violence going on in todays world.

And there you have it, what makes me happy and what happiness means to me in a nutshell.

If I was to make a list of what makes me happy at the top of my head, my list would be; my boyfriend, food, my fridge, my bed, anime, my phone, friends and more food. It’s what they provide for me is what makes me happy. The feeling of solving a math question, the feeling of riding my bike through the park, and the feeling of finally seeing your order coming at a restaurant are also feelings that make me happy. Listening to music also makes me really happy. I love just laying down and having all my problems leave by melodies and beats in my ears.

Revision:

Thinking about what was really supposed to be included in this happiness post, I started to really give more thought about what it was that really made me happy. There was one memory that really stands out to me as being a really happy night for me, and that would be my prom night. The event itself was pretty memorable, since it was my high school senior prom. But for me, what made it more memorable was being surrounded by the people that I loved, my date and friends. It’s a memory that, to this day, just thinking about it anywhere, fills me with happiness. That same day, in the morning, people were called out to help out set up for the big night. As lazy as people can be, not many people showed up, so that little event became more of a playtime between a few close people. Trying to rapidly decorate the room at Astoria Manor, we started playing with the stuff we had. We started playing soccer with the balloons on the floor and threw confetti in each other’s hair. We laughed so hard throughout that small time we were together.

A few hours later, the time had finally arrived. I remember being so nervous, I was having second thoughts about going. All my crazy nervous feelings left when I stepped into the room. I saw all my friends there already. We all ran into each other’s arms and gave loving hugs, complementing each other on how pretty we looked.  Being with all my friends like that and just enjoying the night, made me forget about all the outside problems I had. I was just living in the moment with all the good-looking people around me. The loud music in the background, I think, helped drown out any doubts I had. I was pretty hard to listen to my own thoughts. The food there was also really good! I was able to have fried rice and plantains, which have to be my favorite foods! Some extra happiness there, too! Overall, the whole experience was really fun. I loved being able to spend time with the people I had spent four years with. That night, everyone seemed to love everyone.