15 thoughts on “Feedback for Raihan”

  1. To start off you have a very great title.There are a lot of grammatical errors throughout your essay but I was able to understand the point you were trying to make about climate change being a huge problem and something should be done about it.Other than that I would try looking at other peoples essays to see if you could form proper sentence structures.Your sources were well organized ,the only thing you need to include is a article we read in class.

  2. Raihan, before even reading your argumentative essay,  I had to take a step back to take it all in when I read your title. Yes, Indeed climate change is an disappointing issue because it’s all humanities fault and we could so much better. I liked how you added a little twist to your paper by quoting, Bill Gates before starting your paper. That was unexpected but, really brilliant as it only captivated me to read your paper. Now, after reading your essay, you’ve had a lot of great points but, you awfully had numerous grammatical errors, I suggest you check over that when proof reading your essay again. Also, your work cited is organized nicely but, you need to cite it properly. Do these two things I suggested and you should be good!

  3. I loved the strategy you used by starting off your paper with a quote. This is very rich and clever for you to do because you kind of give us readers an idea of what exactly your going to write about. By you doing this, it creates the urge for readers to want to read more. Throughout reading your essay I noticed there are a boatload of grammatical errors that you should definitely look over and fix. Loved your thesis as well I think you have a very great point just look over your grammatical errors then your essay would definitely be fine.

  4. I like how you choose a topic that is a current issue in our generation, which is climate change. I learned about fossil fuel and oil production from your essay, there are lots of grammar mistakes, the best way is to read the sentence out. I think you should mention about Eco-friendly products somewhere in your essay on Way human beings can try to save their environment before it is too late. You should also mention  Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg Her campaigning the issue of climate change has gained a lot of attention and Students worldwide are protesting demanding the government to take action on the climate problem all of this can improve  your essay.

  5. Raihan I liked the way you started your essay off it was very different of you to do and it caught our attention quick, your thesis was very clearly made. I think you should work on making it more towards what you feel instead of making it sound like it has too many facts. Overall good essay

  6. The essay was good. Advice would be to check grammar and finish run on sentences to make the essay more stronger.

  7. Your essay got your point across and you were able to talk about the things we could do to slow down climate change. There are some grammar mistakes but they can easily be fixed. In your 3rd to the last paragraph, you spoke about some data and surveys taken, I think that if you include some of that data in your essay it would make it a bit much stronger.

  8. The topic was a good choice, it was the only essay about climate change in the class. You raised some good points but I haven’t seen much information in the opposing side. Maybe add a little more to that and correct some of the grammatical errors you have. Great essay though

  9. I loved your essay topic. This is something that people are choosing to ignore.  It is a really big problem but they don’t notice.  Your essay shows valid points.  And great evidence. My advice would be to re read your essay before submitting g to check for any grammatical errors and run on sentences.

  10. Raihan, your essay topic was really enjoyable and in ways controversial. agree with you when you say that climate change is a really severe problem in which we don’t make the effort to solve. I really appreciate the fact that you brought up obamas clean power plan as a way to state a temporary resolution until Trump took over.

  11. climate change is a problem and i agree with you and what you wrote in your essay it was well thought out but you could of structured it better and put more detail into your thesis

  12. Raihan, the way you started off your essay grabbed my attention, a quote by bill gates caught me off guard but was a great start. You structured your essay perfectly but you have many grammar mistakes which can be fixed. Great job, overall!

  13. Hey Rafi your essay topic was real unique but you misquoted. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional because it seems like a typo, but Bill Gates said, “Climate change is a terrible problem, and it absolutely needs to be solved. It deserves to be a huge priority.” You wrote, “Climate change is a terrible problem, and it is absolutely need to be solved.” See the difference? Also I noticed certain things were written in bold, not sure if that was intentional or not. In your first body paragraph you mention that due to climate change, we’re suffering from global warming. Tell us the problems with global warming, maybe include what is going on with the ice glaciers. I like how in your second body paragraph you described palm oil and it’s intended use. But you go on to say, “It scientifically testified that palm oil production is bad for our environment but we ignoring it.” You wrote that but didn’t attach a source to where you got that from. Perhaps it’s from the same source that the following statistic you mentioned is from, but if it is you should clarify that. Finally I think you should elaborate on Obama’s plan regarding climate change. Something brief, just a little background knowledge.

  14. Raihan great essay. The title caught my attention. The articles that you referred where great. I’ll say look over the grammar and also if possible add something like how the recycling system that’s put into schools don’t really have an effect because at the end of the day both the trashes and the items collected for recycling all go to the same dumpster, which gives the recycling system no value.

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