14 thoughts on “Feedback for Iverson”

  1. I liked your essay especially when you used ying and yang as an example and when you included movies that were more common, the topic was very clear throughout the essay stating what kind of movies kids should watch and what happens when a kid probably watches a movie they’re not supposed to watch, the movie is rated a certain way for a reason and it is the parents job to look out for what a child should watch. I think your essay is missing your own personal opinion in the beginning of the essay rather than the end. Good choice of vocabulary and grammar, your essay was very educated.

  2. Iverson, I enjoyed your essay and glad to say that i agree with your claim. I believe that kids 17 or younger shouldn’t t be allowed to watch  rated R movies unless they have their parents consent. As discussed in class parents know their child so they would know what content can or can’t be watched by their child.Overall a great essay.

  3. Iverson, I like how your essay was different from everyone else’s. You supported your argument with a lot of persuasive techniques such as appealing to authority or quotes which helped to persuade the reader to believe that the MPAA shouldn’t be the only factor that determines if a child should watch an R rated movie or not. However you should look at how often a parent would turn to IMDb or rotten tomato reviews before letting a child watch it. They would just often look at the rating and make a judgement accordingly. You might want to make what side of the argument your on a little clearer in the first two paragraphs. Great essay though.

  4. I think  your essay was good, i enjoy your  example on scooby doo.to me it is the parents job to  Controls what  Kids watch such as  Monitoring. 2 thing   missing would be your  personal opinion and what make a rated r movie.

  5. Iverson, I loved that you kind of chose the unpopular opinion which is rated R movies affecting a childs behavior. Lots of people have opposed of that claim and your essay completely supports your thesis and based on your essay my views were affected a little. Throughout your essay it was structured very well and I loved that you put a couple of in text citations in your essay. Just look over a few grammatical errors and also try to elaborate more on your counterclaim. That would take your essay to the next level, Great Job

  6. Your essay was enjoyable to read and I liked your topic. But make sure you capitalize Netflix because it is a very popular brand, so it should be treated like a noun. I also noticed that you have run on sentences throughout your essay so make sure you look out for them. Finally don’t forget to put everything in MLA format before you submit it! Other than that I really liked your essay and you did a good job getting in depth with your arguments, they were very clear.

  7. Iverson, I really liked that you talked about something in your argumentative essay that is not often talked about. the title of your essay caught my attention, it wasn’t all that but, it was definitely better than just writing the topic. Anyways you made great points in your essay but, they are few things I want to suggest, so you can make your essay better. I suggest you word some sentences differently, as well as your paragraphs. Lastly cite your sources correctly, proof read your work, check for grammatical errors and you should be good.

  8. Age limits to contents are always very controversial but you had an outstanding claim as to why or why not it should be a thing and I totally agree with your viewpoint. Great examples. Great job

  9. Really interesting topic to talk about.I agree with you that these days sometimes movie rating are not always spot on and maybe watching a rated R movie with a kid might put some negative affects on the kid and can also make u feel guilty even though the rating said it was a PG movie.

  10. This is a very interesting topic,mainly because its similar to the topic of violent video games.One thing that would be helpful is making your thesis a bit clearer.Your sources are well organized and also including a article we read in class.

  11. You had a very unique essay to everyone.  I liked your essay and how you used the comparison to scooby doo since it’s something that the reader can relate to.  Something that can help better your essay is adding a personal connection. I liked your arguments and how clear you made them.

  12. Iverson, I liked how unique your essay was and how your examples were really on point. You knew how to catch your readers attention at the heading on its own, usually writers would try and captivate in the intro but you stood out on where to place it. Your source for each point was well put. Overall, great essay!

  13. Iverson, I will say it really a good topic and I feel like parents shouldn’t t be allowed, 17 years kids watch rated R movies. Everything was well dun in the essay. Look through the easy and fix the grummer mistake and most importantly try to do your work cited in MLA format.

  14. Iverson, this essay was really amazing. You made your points clear, you supported them with prefect citations. You went deep into incorporating certain details and explained your point to the point that even though I’ve never heard of Rated-R I now understood what it was. I’ll say just fix up the grammar a little bit and use the MLA citation format.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.