12 thoughts on “Feedback for Gregory”

  1. Gregory, so far, I think this was favorite essay to read. It’s so raw and flowed very smoothly. I liked the fact that you wrote this essay as if, your actually talking with someone. Adding in the New York slang, only made it much better in my opinion. I am deeply saddened this happened to you but, as you said yourself, your gonna thug it out. Anyways, checkout for grammatical errors and etc. Good job!

  2. I don’t know but reading this was kind of funny to me,it was a really good experience to talk about and it was so realistic.I’m pretty sure you can look back on this experience and laugh yourself.We all make mistakes like this or similar experiences.As long as you learn from this,you know what girls to avoid.I’d like if you could tell us what you really thought when she did that, did you want to confront her or felt something vengeful? I don’t think you truly just brushed it off,that must of been very hurtful.

  3. Gregory, I enjoyed your essay I feel like most people can understand where youre coming from in this situation. Your grammar was good I just feel like you can maybe combine a few paragraphs so that they wouldn’t seem as small, other than that I enjoyed your essay.

  4. Your essay was great bro. So I think you don’t need any change.  When you used the term “you feel me”. That remind me one of my friend form high school, who used to use this word a lot.

  5. your essay made me remember the time where ” exposing ” people was a thing to do for popularity and i sympathize with what happened to you because i have been in a similar situation. your lingo/slang makes it even more personal giving off the vibe that your talking to someone not telling a story.

  6. This is the realest essay I ever read. I saw and feel your shift between the I don’t care perspective at the beginning cursing and everything to the must serious perspective were everything that you are saying takes a different weight and actually connects with the reader. I think that with any changes that you make to this essay you just keep that feeling of really were the reader feels like there is a friend talking to them.

  7. Gregory, I loved how raw your essay was and how you did not hold back on any information. The way you described your after school tradition and how your school was small so eventually you would be able to talk to her, really was a beautiful description. I really sympathize for you but you did learn from this experience and that is what really matter. Just need to check for grammar mistakes and repetitive statements.

  8. I liked your essay Gregory and how detailed it was.  I was really interés while reading your essay because of the slang you used and hoy essay shows that you can’t trust anyone.  Good job.

  9. I love this essay I loved how you added NY slang to keep readers I interested in your writing. My only thing is that you should’ve wrote more details so we can sort of imagine the scene your writing about

  10. I liked you essay because these are things that are seen a lot on social media, it sucks it changed you as a person and your will to trust. you had very few errors in placing too many commas and making your sentences shorter, remove some commas and itll make your essay flow better. Overall good essay with a bad experience

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