11 thoughts on “Feedback for Aissatou”

  1. It had a really big impact on me when I realize you couldn’t pursue a career of dance, because your religion and parent were against that.  I like how it didn’t stop you from learning dance. One problem I see is what lesson did you learn from Ms.Asch teaching ballet?

  2. Not being able to follow your dream because of your religion must really be difficult and being able to talk about it must also be as difficult. You talking about this lets everyone know that these rules are real but you can’t fear them. You still want to follow your dreams and I support this decision all the way.Having Ms.Asch be there to talk to you and being nice to you definitely has helped you. I’d like to know if you include if you’d still want to continue dance in the future.

  3. Your essay touched me in a way that others wouldn’t understand ! i grew up with a family thAt wouldnt let me do anything i wanted to do so i feel you 100% . keep being strong . love the essay .

  4. Aissatou, your essay was great and I really hope that you stick to your goals and aspirations and should let nothing stop you no matter the restrictions. I loved the bond between your and Ms. Asch and how you really look up to her. Overall, great essay Aissatou.

  5. I enjoyed your essay and I can understand why you got upset about learning ballet but, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Your grammar was good but you still had very few mistakes so try to watch out for those, other than that I thought your essay was really great.

  6. your essay was enjoyable to read, you shouldve used less commas to make your sentences longer. Your essay would be much more enjoyable if you didnt pause so much in every sentence. Try adding more dialogue to make it more interesting. overall good story, maybe soon you wont be so shy and youll be able to speak up

  7. I liked your essay but I think the idea of having strict parents and sort of doing something they may not approve of might have a lot of depth to it, maybe you an explore around that idea? But as far as your essay I think it was pretty good but I think you could’ve fleshed out the ending a bit more, it kind of ended a bit abrupt for me.

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