Feedback from Monroe:
This is a really poetic, detailed narrative about the struggle of growing up gay in a strongly Christian community in Jamaica. I like your writing style—and attention paid to small things—a lot. I would suggest going back over this and reworking some of the details to make sure they all contribute to the reader’s awareness of the conflict you’re dealing with. You might also add sections that could help us see a bit more how gayness was viewed in your community Jamaica—and then, later on, in your communities in NYC (and how this changed you). Thanks for this.