14 thoughts on “Feedback for Brandon”

  1. looking up to your father and uncle to be an amazing engineer in the future is great but, I personally think you should do it for yourself while also making them proud. watch out for grammatical errors and sentence structures.

  2. I like how you took advantage of the opportunities that you had, I think that is something that a lot of people don’t do. I really enjoyed your essay but watch out for the grammatical errors.

  3. What impressed me is how you always had a love for cars which led you to chose the major engineering and how you wanted to be better than your father and grandfather, in the paragraph some word were not properly spelled like “jus” should be just.

  4. I love how you were honest and didn’t filter yourself. I like how you talked about your passion for engineering and how it led you to pursue that in college. I would say just be aware of grammatical errors and putting the right punctuations. Overall I really enjoyed your story.

  5. Your essay was very good. Everything that your said made sense and your point was very clear. There are grammar mistakes that you can fix and you could fix the structure of some sentences.

  6. I loved reading about your interest because that helps me get to know you as a person but I would love to hear more about how exactly you did better than the other mechanics and what about it made you realize you’ll are and will be of a better person to your dream of reality.

  7. This is the only essay that I’ve read so far that talks about a passion then relates it to how going to college will help you accomplish a dream that is formed by that passion.I find this very interesting and a very good essay.Things you need to work on is re-reading and making sure your sentences make sense.Other than that I think this essay is really good.

  8. Thank you for sharing this. The fact that your essay was different made it stand out. I would say looking over the grammar can help it stand out even more. Great structure though.

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