15 thoughts on “Feedback for Maribel Garcia”

  1. excellent quality writing and the story touch my heart, my favorite part is  “If we let our fear get the best of us how are we supposed to grow and do the things that we are passionate about.” this is such amazing advice to live by.

  2. I like how you started right in the middle of the story; you just got straight to the point. There’s nothing wrong with the traditional beginning, middle, end route but this way is more unique. To add on, I love how you show character through your writing. I felt like you were talking to me, telling me about your experience, not just writing an essay. Finally there was very little grammatical error that I could find. Good work!

  3. I like how you talked about a situation that most people have and you overcame your fear. And I love how you found someone who can help you with your fears that you can remember about when you’re feeling stage frightened. You had very few grammar issues, and I love how your story turned out.

  4. I like how your essay pertained to world problems and was a story about overcoming your fear. You inspire me to overcome my own fears. I really liked your story  but there were a few grammatical errors but nothing too much.

  5. I really like this part where you said

    “I said to myself as I stood in the center of the stage with all the lights beaming on my face”

    In my thinking it’s a grate hook to get readers attention.

  6. I like how in your story you talked about how you over came a fear, I feel like ” fear” is always something that can make you miss out on certain experiences in life. I really liked your story despite, a few grammatical errors.

  7. I like how in your story you talked about how you over came a fear, I feel like ” fear” is always something that can make you miss out on certain experiences in life. I really liked your story despite, a few grammatical errors.

  8. Absolutely loved how your essay was structured. I definitely felt like you were sitting down and talking to me as a reader. This is extremely good work. Just a little grammatical errors but overall this essay was great thank you for inspiring us to overcome our fears.

  9. Overcoming a fear is the strongest thing I’ve heard yet and amazing for you to be able to share that experience with us. The way you expressed the connection between you and the political speaker and how she helped you lose your fear is ground breaking. Loved your essay.

  10. I like what you did where you talked about the lights at the start and how the felt like they blinded you when they beamed down on your face.Then once you got used to speaking they felt warm and not so much as blinding as they were before.That was like a good identification of the process you went through to get over your stage freight.There was just a few grammar mistakes and maybe you can include what Julian Salazar Accomplished.

  11. Great essay. Thank you for sharing. I like the format and the structure of it. I feel at some point it was a motivation. there was just a few grammar mistakes that i would say look over.

  12. Maribel, I really enjoyed reading your educational experience. I understood where you were coming from because, I myself is a shy person who don’t really like talking in front of people and etc. I am glad that you overcame your fear of stage freight and now is able to do what your good at. Also, I really liked how you learned so much from, Julian Salazar and used that to better yourself. Your essay was good but, Make sure to watch out for grammatical errors and sentence structures.

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