17 thoughts on “Feedback for Kymanie Hamilton”

  1. I enjoyed how your failure became a wake-up call but not for your friend, this event could help you whenever you go back to your senior year self, and think back to have far you’ve become. I feel the word  “ultimately”  was used too often and so avoid using the same word.

  2. I enjoyed how your failure became a wake-up call but not for your friend, this event could help you whenever you go back to your senior year self, and think back to have far you’ve become. I feel the word  “ultimately”  was used too often and so avoid using the same word.

  3. I enjoyed reading this because there are multiple layers to the story. It is very relatable in multiple ways because we all know that person who builds up all these lies to better their image, and a lot of us procrastinate. Anyway maybe you can get into some specific stories of when your friend was lying and making illusions, but other than that it was well put together. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Your essay was good. You could add more details or create a scene to grab the readers attention more.I myself procrastinate all the time so this was a relatable story.

  5. Kymanie, I really enjoyed reading your essay. I liked how you thought you was the only one struggling but, it turned out, your friend was doing much worse than you. Sometimes our friends fool us but, I am glad you learned from that experience. Watch out for grammatical errors.

  6. I enjoyed your story, I like how you thought you couldn’t relate to your friend about struggling in school but it turned out to be quite the opposite. Im sure you and your friend learned from this experience. overall I thought the story was great, in my opinion I think you would just have to fix some grammatical errors.

  7. I think your story is well put together. We as readers are able to see the moments that you describe. there are some sentences that could use some fixing. Consider using “,” in some off them. This would help your sentences flow better.

  8. I connected with your essay because I also learned English as a second language and not a lot of people understand the strength it takes to be able to dominate both languages. Try to connect the sequence of your essay and watch out for grammatical errors.

  9. This story was well thought out and to be honest going through a similar scene myself ,not as to the friend part but failing.Starting to realize college definitely isn’t like high-school and I should definitely start working hard and thinking about things I do on my free time instead of just procrastinating and all.Something you could do is go into a bit more details if you’re still friends with the person and where they are today if you know.

  10. Good essay. I can relate to my high school also with a lot of friends in which i helped but i wasn’t risk though. I would just say look over some of your grammar.

  11. your essay was enjoyable to read it clearly explains what youre talking about, we all feel like we struggle sometimes i liked how relatable that was because it has happened to me before but i thought it was worse than it actually really was, but there are other people who are actually always doing worse sadly. Good essay !

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