16 thoughts on “Feedback for Roy”

  1.  I enjoyed reading your paper. I was drawn mostly for your love for chess and how it taught you teamwork like the quote “teamwork makes the dream work”. 

  2. I like how you put the reader in the shoes as you progressed from chess, learned what you could, and then moved on to Overwatch and emphasized the importance teamwork in the end.

  3. Loved that you crave knowledge of all forms, and challenge yourself to, improve in away you can. Trying to reach the bests. There was a grammatical mistake here and there besides that, you did a good job.

  4. Your essay was very good. There where some mistakes but over all I think your story was very good. The fact that you were able to attend a national competition is amazing. And that you and you’re team were able to get the fundings needed for it.

  5. your essay can really branch out to other athletes and supporters leaving them with the idea that almost everyone has that kind of mentality to things they enjoy and or lived through . Great essay fix minor grammatical errors

  6. Thanks man for sharing this. I can relate to this. It was a great essay. It a great structure but the grammar just needs a little touch.

  7. The message in your essay was there but, wasn’t quite clear. Maybe restructuring it would help the readers understand more. Also, fix grammatical errors.

  8. I think it was well written and straight to the point. I like how you talked about your love for chess, not many people that I know of really plays chess. I would keep an eye out for some of the grammatical errors made.

  9. i liked how you talked about chess, thats something not many play nor know how to play, being that its something not many people now about it makes it more interesting for people to read because it makes the reader more engaged in the writing and what you have to say about the topic i thought that was a very interesting thing to choose to write about, you had very few grammar mistakes i think thats something you can work on more. Other than that good essay !

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