16 thoughts on “Feedback for ChanChan”

  1. I love how your essay is well structured, the way you began your essay with a quote that then is explained based off of your story really caught my attention. I like you made your points really clear and how you quoted sayings from your parents and the “american people” and how they would approach your english speaking. You just had a couple of grammar mistakes which are the lowercase letters of some sentences which needs to be capitalized.

  2. I really liked your essay the idea that you were going with was also great but if I had to change something it would be the layout of the essay and fixing minor errors here and there. Despite the minor errors, you story was really great and intriguing for me.

  3. Your story makes me think on my self when I first got here and I had to decide who I was against what my parents wanted for me, and I think that your essay is well structured in a way that it makes me feel like had a lot in common even thought we are from different backgrounds your essay is just making me feel that way.

  4. I’m not sure if it’s just me but for me your essay was a bit confusing . You kind of jumped from story to story so you can work on structuring the essay better .I’m not sure what the lesson you learned was so you can work on explaining that better.

  5. I like the way you talked about a very difficult issue that came in way of learning experience. I wouldve loved it if your story was longer and you included a more specific time where this issue affected you majorly

  6. There are some grammatical errors, but it’s a nice essay that I feel like some people can relate to immigrant parents. I think you went through too many topics though. I think you should’ve stuck to just talking about your experience with education. Other than that it’s a good essay!

  7. You have lot of capitalization mistake. And some sentences are incomplete.  What I mean by this, in some places you jumped form one topic to another. Jest work on that. Other then that easy was good.

  8. Your essay was very good and I can relate to it because of the language barrier. As students that come from different countries we are placed in ESL and sometimes the education system fails. I like your essay and how you were able to take us through an important part of your life. There are grammatical mistakes and some sentences could be fix. Maybe narrow down what you want your readers to conclude about you story.

  9. Very great story I felt like you were kind of venting to us in a way. Lots of people can relate to this with the simple fact of having immigrant parents. Loved the essay but try to fix grammar a little bit.

  10. This was a very good educational experience and yes, math will forever be a bummer.I myself hate the thought of having to sit down for 2+ hours to take an exam on logarithms and algebraic problems that I will probably never use or think about in the future,So relatable.This essay was very much detailed and I don’t think you really need to add much except read over and fix small grammar mistakes.

  11. I love that essay. I can really relate and i feel like a lot of also can. I will say looking the grammar and also putting in use of bigger words will be great. The structure of the essay was great.

  12. your essay is great but, confusing a little. The intro was great but, as it started progressing, I got confused. Maybe you should consider restructuring it differently. Also, fix the minor grammatical errors.

  13. I love how your essay is well structured. I can relate because I know what its like having immigrant parents and being from a different country. I would take another look at the grammatical errors made.

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